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8 Domains: Practicing Emotional Literacy

5/15/2025

0 Comments

 
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Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (00:02.002)
like we are officially live. Welcome everyone to the eight domains of human potential, a podcast designed for professionals committed to elevating their well-being and success as a whole person. Your co-hosts today are myself, Laurel Elders and Howie Adams. We're with the Institute for Integrative Intelligence where it's our passion to elevate human potential through the art and the science of masterful coaching.

We offer level one and level two ICF accredited and CCE programs. Howie and I are thrilled to have with us today, Dan Newby. Dan is a champion for emotional literacy and works with leaders, educators, and coaches worldwide. His passion is helping emotional literacy become common sense and to use emotions as a tool daily. He's authored four books on emotional literacy.

Dan Newby (00:55.823)
you

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (00:57.376)
and its application to coaching. He regularly leads his course, emotional centered coaching for coaches and people who support people, including leaders, therapists, educators, faith leaders, and parents. He's worked with leaders in the U S Germany, Italy, El Salvador, Mexico, Slovakia, UK, Singapore, and Canada across the globe. And he's joining us today from Spain. Welcome Dan.

Dan Newby (01:21.743)
Thank you. Delighted to be here. Thank you for the invitation.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (01:24.898)
Yeah. Great to have you. So for those tuning in today's topic is covering the emotional domain. We've covered some of the other domains in the past episodes and we're really gearing this topic towards practicing emotional literacy. So before we, we unpack what that means, Dan, I'd love to hear more about

What prompted you to really focus and hone in as a coach on the world of emotions? Because some people would put emotions in the therapy realm and you have entered it as a coach.

Dan Newby (01:59.659)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, thank you. Well, I was trained as an ontological coach, so I learned about language and the mechanics of language and how that works.

and I learned about emotions and I learned about somatics or the body. So all of these were part of my training as a coach and what I found was that the language piece, the intellectual piece was really the simplest piece and that made a lot of sense, that was easy. For me, one of the things that was quite challenging was the emotional domain.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (02:22.167)
Thank

Dan Newby (02:35.939)
And what it allowed me to do was, think fundamentally, just understand myself much better. Like, why did I do what I did? What were those emotions about? What were they trying to tell me? How could they support me? And as a coach, I realized that all of our stories, everything we speak, comes from emotions.

And so I began to see them as more more fundamental in coaching. And because most people that I coach and you coach don't know very much about emotions. So they probably know they have emotions and they're aware of emotions and they know about emotional intelligence. But in my experience, they haven't yet seen emotions as a tool that they can use every day. They've not quite yet seen emotions as normal in the sense that, you

they're just part of being human. And so I think that it, working with emotions opens up a lot of possibilities for coaches because one of our beliefs that most of us grew up with was that the solution to our problems is intellectual, that there's some answer. And if we can just figure out the answer, then everything is gonna be okay. But what I find is that a lot of the challenges we face and my coaches face have to do

with their emotions. They're stuck in an emotion or they don't have access to an emotion or they're ignoring their emotions and they actually once they begin to shift into that emotional self-awareness they recognize that it's not really an intellectual problem that they're trying to solve it's an emotional question and once they do that then they're able to see new possibilities which is what we do in coaching.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (04:22.232)
Yeah, fascinating. And can you just give a short definition of ontological coaching for those that aren't familiar with it?

Dan Newby (04:29.935)
Sure, absolutely. So, ontological coaching is built on the idea that every human being operates and learns and knows in at least the three domains of language and that's what we use to access our intellect, emotions, and the body. And that these three are dynamic coherence and so when we shift one, we shift the others. And so we can work as coaches, we can come in through the body, we can talk about

what's happening in somebody's body and their predisposition or their movements or lack of movement. And we can also come in through the emotional domain to explore that. And we can use a more typical approach of looking at language and conversation and how a person processes information intellectually.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (05:25.802)
Thank you. Yeah, and they're so integrated.

Dan Newby (05:29.251)
They are absolutely there. We all have them. They're all integrated. And it is completely true in my experience that when we shift one, we shift the other two. And so the question often in coaching is, well, where is the coachee most comfortable entering and what do we see might be have the greatest impact for them?

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (05:32.334)
Thank

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (05:57.63)
And I'm just curious, what societal myths have you seen serve as around emotion? So I know I kind of entered in with the, some people place emotions in the therapy world or the counseling world. And in coaching, we see, well, that's not necessarily the case.

Dan Newby (06:08.609)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Dan Newby (06:14.18)
Yeah.

If you look a little bit at the history of how humans have interpreted emotions, we've always tried to make meaning of them. We've tried to understand them. And the Greeks had their way, and the Romans had their way, and every culture has their own way of interpreting. And we, in the modern age, live in something I would call a psychological interpretation, meaning that we tend to do exactly what you said. When we think of emotions, we place them in the domain of psychology. And that has a history. The reason we do

that is because 150 years ago when we were dividing up the world into sciences we had to put emotions somewhere and so we thought well psychology that's where we'll put them and although I think that has served a lot and it's very helpful and has led to therapy and counseling and lots of other methodologies that are extremely helpful what it doesn't do is it doesn't place emotions as a life skill it doesn't help us see emotions in a practical way and

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (07:12.419)
Mm.

Dan Newby (07:14.993)
And that's what I care about. So you talked about practicing and practice-based. And I consider myself a practitioner. So there's lots of great theories about emotions. There's lots of research into neuroscience. And I think that's all wonderful, but that's not me. That's not what I do. it's not that I don't care about it, but I don't find it practical. And that's what I'm really interested in is how do we develop emotions as a practice? And I think one of the first things is what you just alluded

to what are the myths we're living with that keep us from seeing that? And one of them is, well, we think that there are positive and negative emotions. And I would argue that's not the case. I think every emotion can help us, but every emotion can also be a barrier, depending on the situation. So if you take fear as an example, well, fear keeps us safe, right? It keeps us from going places that are dangerous or doing dangerous things or crossing the street without looking. Well, that's pretty good.

But fear can also be a barrier to doing things that we're passionate about or we care about. So is fear a good emotion, positive, or is it negative? And I would say, well, it depends on your situation. So in the coaching, the way we approach that is to not talk about them as a good or bad or positive or negative, but simply to talk about what emotion is the person experiencing and is that serving them in that situation or not.

it is fantastic, then there's nothing else we need to do. But if they say, well, not really, that emotion is really a barrier in some way, then we can address it and we can look at the possibility of shifting it. But there's lots of other, I work with about eight or nine myths that I see show up with people I work with everywhere, that we can control emotions. And in fact, we need to control our emotions. And I would argue that's not possible, we can't.

And in fact, I don't think it would be very helpful because then if I'm uncomfortable with anxiety, I would try to not feel anxiety. I would control it. But anxiety, again, is an emotion that gives us lots of information about possible dangers in our lives. There's a story, of course, in business that, well, this is not a place for emotions. Leave them at the door. Don't bring your emotions here. But every business I work with,

Dan Newby (09:44.621)
wants passion, they want honesty, they want integrity, they want compassion, they want affection, they want, I mean, they want all of these emotions as part of their organization and the culture, and yet they say that about emotions. And what I've come to conclude is that, well, they don't want the emotions that make them uncomfortable, or they don't want the emotions that they see as a barrier to their business. But in fact, we're all human.

we all have emotions, so we can't just leave them at the door. So my approach is more to say, well, we all have emotions, so maybe if we learned about emotions, we could be in choice about the ones that would help us achieve what we want to achieve, and we can also learn how to navigate the ones that are problematic for us. But we embrace them in a way. We don't dismiss them. We don't try to get rid of them and say, well, they're just part of life, just like

you know, every human being has to eat, so he created lunch breaks and every, many human beings, me included, love coffee, so we have coffee breaks. So we've taken those things, which are just part of being human, and we've integrated them into our work rhythm or our work structure, and we can do the same with emotions, and for me, much more productive. So there's about eight or nine of these that, you know, show up regularly, and when people begin to

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (10:49.485)
Thanks.

Dan Newby (11:14.225)
question them, most of the time they say, no, that's true, that doesn't really make too much sense. That's what I learned, that's what I heard, but as I look at them, I can see a different way, a different interpretation.

And the last one I'll share is that people sometimes think that emotions are random. They just show up when they want to show up. Or that they're capricious. And that they're illogical. So I don't know if you remember Dr. Spock on Star Trek, but this is what he always said. And I think there's confusion because I would say emotions are irrational. They're not just of reason, but they're actually quite

logical. They have a structure, they have a pattern, their predictable reactions to experiences. So when you lose something you care about, you always feel sadness. It's just logical and it never varies. So we can begin to trust emotions and begin to see that, there's this pattern here and if I learn to listen to the emotion and what it's trying to tell me or what it's trying to show me, that they're a great source of information

It's still up to us to decide, but they give us information that we can't get in any other way.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (12:38.424)
That's such a key point, almost like a whole language.

Dan Newby (12:43.407)
It is, and often when people are starting, they say, oh, well, I know these words. Like, I know the word contempt, but I can't tell you exactly what it means or exactly what it feels like. So we begin to build our emotional vocabulary. It is learning a new language. And that's a piece that we have to invest the time in. There's things we just have to memorize. We just have to remember, just like in

any other discipline. But the more we do, the more connections we see, and the more logic, and the more relevance, and the more practicality we see. So for me, well worth the investment in learning those. It also makes us...

It gives us the ability to understand ourselves better because there's more nuance to what we're noticing about ourselves and how we're naming it. And it also helps us understand other people better. And this was the magic for me. I realized, well, this helps me understand me better. And suddenly everybody else made a lot more sense. Why they did what they did, how they did it, the things they said. Suddenly it wasn't quite so mysterious because

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (13:51.904)
Thank

Dan Newby (14:00.201)
I understood that, I know what would drive me. I know what emotion would have me do that. I wonder if it's the same emotion for them. And many times, I think it is.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (14:15.5)
I appreciate what you were saying too about the practice part. I was a couple of years back, I was like, I've, I've learned all this amazing stuff, know, integrative coaching, integral coaching. And, and then one day I was like, wait, why am I still struggling? And I was, I realized, I'm not practicing.

Dan Newby (14:19.407)
Hmm.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (14:38.326)
I had intellectualized and thought, I've learned it, but it's in the practice that brings it all to life. Right. So.

Dan Newby (14:39.843)
Mm-hmm.

Dan Newby (14:44.749)
Yeah, there's a distinction I work with, the difference between knowing about and knowing how. And the knowing about, you know, I know a lot about soccer, or in Europe we call it football. I mean, I know a fair amount about it, but I don't know it as a sport. Like, as an adult, I haven't played soccer. So I know about it, but I can't go out and do what a soccer player can go out and do.

And this is true about lots of things. we watch lots of cooking shows, let's say, well, we know about cooking.

But if we want to learn to cook, we need to go into the kitchen and we need to cook. And we need to make mistakes, and we need to make discoveries, and we need to burn things, and we need to have our successes. That's how we truly embody learning. It's the doing. It's the practice piece. So this is what I invite people to is let's practice. Let's explore. Let's play with this. So in the courses I teach, there's always this element of self-practice where you track your emotions, you reflect on your emotions, you reconstruct your emotions.

because if you can do it for you, you can do it for your coachee, but you have to learn to do it for you from the inside out, is that you can't just approach it theoretically because it's missing this whole element of practice and the experience of it, which is what you get through the practice. So it's really embodied learning the way I think about it.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (16:17.198)
appreciate that. Howie, what's coming up for you as we explore this?

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (16:20.74)
a lot of things. One question, Dan. Dan, you use the word emotional literacy, and we hear so much about emotional intelligence. How did you come to use that language rather than emotional intelligence, for example?

Dan Newby (16:28.527)
Hmm.

Dan Newby (16:39.343)
Well, again, it comes down to practice, I think. And what I realized was that, you know, when children are young and we want to help them take advantage of their intellect, what do we do? We teach them the alphabet.

often the alphabet song. We help them learn to read and write. And through that, two things happen in my view. One, they get access to the intellect they already have. And two, they have a tool to augment that intellect, right? To build it, to strengthen it, to build knowledge, to grow. And the realization for me was that there's something absolutely parallel with emotions, is that we need to be

able to first notice our emotions and then name our emotions and understand, no, understand the structure of the emotion and what it's trying to tell us and the impulse and the purpose. And we need to be able to distinguish it from other emotions. And once we build this information, then we can do something I call

navigate. We can use our emotions to navigate life so we don't need to control them. It's more like dancing with them. It's more like listening to them, responding to them, paying attention to them. So for me, emotional literacy made a lot of sense. So recently though, I've been working with a partner on creating an emotional regulation assessment so that we could take an assessment, a standardized assessment, and it would tell us several

things. One, what's our level of emotional intelligence, which is our native capacity plus whatever we've learned experientially, it would tell us our level of emotional literacy, like what do we know in the way I'm talking about it, our level of emotional resilience, how good are we at balancing back, our emotional agility, how good are we shifting between emotions, and overall, what's our capacity for

Dan Newby (18:51.919)
emotional regulation. Because this is what I think we really are looking for, even if we're studying neuroscience, even if we're studying emotional intelligence. What I think most of us would like to have is this ability to regulate, to choose our emotions, to shift our emotions, to be able to select those that would be most helpful to us in any given situation.

So for me this whole idea of emotional literacy has led to I think a broader conversation about emotional regulation and emotional literacy is a key part of that and one of the things that we've discovered through what we're developing and also through the use of this assessment that I've done with some coachees is that sometimes we can have a coachee who's very emotionally resilient. They can bounce back from things their whole life

they've had to do that for whatever reason, so they've developed this skill. But they still may not have much strength in emotional literacy. So what does that tell us? Well, to be emotionally resilient, we don't have to know about emotions. We can develop that independently. And just because we're emotionally literate doesn't mean we'll be emotionally resilient. But the way to strengthen our ability to

regulate emotionally is to develop all of those. So I think that what it allows us to do is be much more focused on, okay, it's not just learning emotions or learning about emotions, but which area is going to help me the most? Is it more emotional literacy? Is it more emotional agility? Is it greater emotional resilience? It's a wonderful opportunity because for me it's no different than, you know, we take standardized tests and we say, I

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (20:25.305)
Mmm.

Dan Newby (20:51.565)
work on my math, I could work on science, I could work on language. It helps us see where we would put our attention if we want to strengthen that domain of emotions.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (21:08.237)
Laurel, I do have another question, if I may. So Dan, I wonder if you could take all that you've offered and put it into an example, if you will. You're in a conversation with a client. They either ideally mention, not so much ideally, but they mention an emotion per se, or you reflect that I am observing that. How do you integrate that conversation of emotional literacy

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (21:10.988)
please.

Dan Newby (21:31.533)
Mm-hmm.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (21:36.535)
with your clients in a coach and conversation. How do you practice that?

Dan Newby (21:39.855)
Well, a lot of times when we ask, first of all coaches have this habit of asking coaches how they feel.

And for me, that's a little bit vague because sometimes we ask people how they feel and they say, I feel like it's going to rain today. Or they say, they tell you something intellectual. They give you what they're thinking rather than what they're experiencing emotionally. So the first, I know that they're doing their best. That's my presumption. But as an example, many times somebody will say to me, well, I'm feeling really nervous.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (21:49.527)
Okay.

Dan Newby (22:14.819)
Well, nervous for me is an energy in our body, but it's not a specific emotion.

And the reason I say that is because think of all the emotions that could produce that experience of nervousness. Anticipation, could be apprehension, it could be anxiety, could be uncertainty, could be fear. So there's lots of emotions that might produce that experience for someone. So my approach is to say, great, let's acknowledge that. You're feeling nervous. And I can ask them, like, where and what does that feel like? But the real question that I...

want the answer to is can they tell me what emotion is producing that experience for them.

Now, many times people will say anxiety and the reason they'll say anxiety is because it's very common, because that's a word they know and they don't think about other things like dread or apprehension. So if somebody says an emotion like that, let's say they say anxiety, the question I ask them then is how do you know it's anxiety?

And they'll often say, it feels like anxiety. OK. So tell me what you're thinking. What are the thoughts going through your head?

Dan Newby (23:30.007)
what do you believe? What's your story? What's your narrative? Because I want to hear a very specific narrative that for me reflects anxiety. And for me, what that story is, is that I feel like there might be some danger, but I don't know what the source of it might be. It's kind of like when you walk through a parking lot, right? You stay vigilant for the possibility that a car might back out and not see you. So that for me is,

a good example of anxiety and it keeps us safe. Because what I find is that as we explore these and if a koshi can't name another emotion, then I might invite them to consider. I might say, well, okay, so how would this experience you're having be different from, let's say, excitement or anticipation? well, because I don't think anything good's gonna happen. okay, great. So now we're narrowing it down. And then I might ask them,

Can they identify some danger that maybe they're experiencing? Or what's their energy level? So again, lots of investigation and curiosity. But in the end, what I'm hoping to get to is one, maybe two core emotions that they're experiencing. Because you know those maps you see if you're in a city you don't know, the downtown area, and you walk up and there's a red dot and it says, you are here.

That's what I want emotionally. I want them to be able to identify where they are.

They may not want to be there. They may not like being there, just like you might not like being where that red dot is, but to go anywhere, you need to know where you're starting. And I think emotionally too. So I invite them to take a look. So could we identify specifically what emotion this is, and then to the conversation about is it serving you or not? Here's a fascinating thing I've discovered is that with a person like that, they might say,

Dan Newby (25:36.139)
I don't know what emotion it is. And if I begin to name emotions that I think it might be, when I name the one that it is for them, they will know it. So if I say, well, is it anticipation?

No, that's not it. Is it fear? No, it's not really fear. Is it dread? No, it's not dread. Is it apprehension? yeah. Well, tell me more about apprehension. And so what's fascinating is that emotionally, I think we have wisdom, but what we lack is the language.

We don't know how to call up the articulation of it. We don't know how to name it from scratch, let's say. But we do recognize it when we hear it or when we read it. So you could likewise give your coachee a list of emotions or emotion cards or something where they can begin to explore. Because when they land on the emotion they're experiencing, they know. And I don't know how they know. It's quite mysterious.

to but it always works. And so I invite them to just consider and look and I get too worried that they're going to not get it or get it wrong because my experience tells me that they will. They'll recognize it when they see it. And then that gives us a lovely beginning point and then we can explore further and then we can move to the conversation about is it serving them or not? Would they like to shift the emotion? But I think one of the really important pieces

for coaches and to support our coaches is to set aside judgment and to set aside that question of good or bad or right or wrong or should I or shouldn't I feel this emotion. If you feel an emotion, you feel an emotion, period. It's not that you should or you shouldn't, you do. And so we need to be able to acknowledge that because many people, they, I shouldn't feel fear. Well, I'm a big, strong guy. I shouldn't feel fear. Well, but if you feel fear, you feel fear.

Dan Newby (27:41.73)
If you feel uncertainty, you feel uncertainty. If you feel jealousy, you feel jealousy. Unless you can acknowledge that, you can never get to the starting point.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (27:55.736)
However, you're on mute.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (28:00.078)
Still on mute.

Dan Newby (28:03.576)
You

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (28:03.97)
There we go.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (28:04.185)
Thank you. So I'm curious, how do you then integrate that? spoke earlier about the coherence of language and the body and emotions. What would be an example of how you begin to integrate their literacy, their somatic awareness with their emotional awarenesses?

Dan Newby (28:12.697)
Thank you.

Dan Newby (28:16.75)
you

Dan Newby (28:23.567)
Well, if you think about these three pieces I talked about in ontological coaching, we have our story, we our language, we have the emotion, we have the body. I see the body as the container for the emotion. And the reason I say that is because if you see somebody slumped over, if you see somebody looking at the ground, if you see somebody who has a very, what would we say, expressionless face,

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (28:29.721)
Mm-hmm.

Dan Newby (28:50.889)
you say, my gosh, look, that person's disappointed or in resignation or they're sad. So that body speaks something. And in fact, that body is supporting the emotion. And the other part of the equation is what are they thinking? Because if they're thinking, my gosh, my girlfriend just left me and...

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (29:02.773)
and

Dan Newby (29:16.463)
Wow. So, okay, maybe that's sadness. They lost something or someone they care about. But if their story is, nothing I do will make any difference, so I'm not even going to try. I would say, oh, well, that's the story of resignation. I just give up. Now the body may look quite similar, but the story will separate and tell us which one of those it is. And likewise, the other way, when we want to shift to a different emotion,

We need to first of all, or as a primary piece, we need to think about, well what's the narrative, what's the story I'm going to tell myself? You know, if it's optimism, you know, those of us who connect with optimism, what do we always say? We say, yeah, but every cloud has a silver lining. Well that's optimism.

And you know what? Well, tomorrow's another day. Well, maybe that's hope, right? Because things can be better in the future. But we also need the body. We have to shift the body because if we're in the body of resignation, we can't feel optimism in the body of resignation. So we need to invite them to show us. OK, let's say they want to shift to optimism. So our question is, what do you need to be thinking?

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (30:36.313)
Hmm.

you

Dan Newby (30:42.091)
what's the story, what's the narrative that you need going through your head in order to connect with the emotion of optimism. And they will probably be able to tell you something. And then the question is, and show me the body of optimism for you.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (30:57.272)
and

Dan Newby (30:59.681)
And this is lovely because many people would say that they don't know and I would argue that they do know, but you have to invite them to do it. have one of the things, one of the emotions I work with a lot is dignity. And dignity means worth, worthwhile, that I believe as a human being, I have worth, inherent immutable worth.

is that nobody can take it away from me. I am worthy as a human being. That's my belief. And when I see people sitting, you know, going, well, yeah, and they're telling me about what's going on in their lives, the moment I say, well, so tell me about dignity. It's fascinating because they always do this. They always sit up.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (31:47.022)
Yeah.

Dan Newby (31:48.503)
and then they start telling me about dignity from the body of dignity. It's fascinating. And so people know much more than they think they do. I think our job as coaches is to invite them to explore and to find for them because exactly the way I hold my body in an emotion is probably not exactly the way you're going to.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (31:53.166)
Hmm.

Dan Newby (32:13.805)
The thing I'm thinking that helps me connect with an emotion is probably not going to be exactly the same for you. But if you can tell me, then it's clear to you. Then you know exactly what you need to do to engender or embody this other emotion. And then it's simply practice, just like in all coaching. When, how much, how often, what support do you need, how will you remind yourself, what's your commitment?

practice this shift between emotions. And so that piece is exactly like every other coaching. We're just inviting them to find the way that's simple for them to make the shift and to sustain the shift and make it habitual.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (32:58.947)
Beautiful, I love that. I I felt the excitement as you were integrating emotions with the story and the body and everything. I could feel that in myself. So thanks, Dan, I appreciate that.

Dan Newby (33:07.462)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, lovely. And you can do it the other way too. Let's say you're happy and then, I don't know, you get news about something that's not so good. Well, you do the same thing. You shift your body in the other direction. Your brain, your story is now filled with,

conversations about concern or uncertainty or something else. So you went from, you know, a lovely sunny day where you were, you know, full of energy to now you're sitting back and go, wow. So we do this, I think quite organically. We all know how to do this. We do it all the time. But what's missing for most people is being able to do it intentionally, understanding that, I can choose that.

And that piece, when people learn it, is incredibly empowering because then they're in charge. Now, that doesn't mean that if I'm feeling devastated because of something, I can suddenly shift to joy. No, but what it does tell me is I have a lot of latitude in the emotion I'm experiencing. And if I truly say this is not serving me, then I have a path.

I have a path out of there. I might need some help. Might help to have a coach, of course. But the more we do it, the more we practice, the easier it gets, the more fluid it gets. And I would say we get more fluent with our emotions and our ability to regulate emotionally.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (34:44.784)
Thank you.

Dan Newby (34:45.935)
Thank you.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (34:48.514)
Okay, so I'm really curious if we can go back a moment to you said that something about like anxiousness or I think it was nervousness may not be the starting point. How do you distinguish between what might be a core emotion or starting point versus a, I don't know, it's like a secondary maybe.

Dan Newby (34:50.145)
Okay. Sure.

Dan Newby (34:58.339)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Dan Newby (35:11.703)
Yeah, well there are certain things that I think of as not quite emotions or emotional indicators. So when people say something like, I feel overwhelmed. Well, I would say that's not a specific emotion because the reason is fundamental to your question. Can I think of more than one emotion that would produce that experience for someone?

And if I can, then what do I see? Well, we're not at the root, we're not at the core, we're not down to an individual emotion. But if I tell you something like regret, I feel regret. Well, are there other emotions that can make me feel regret? I can't really think of any.

But I can think of many for overwhelm. I can think of I could be overwhelmed with urgency, I could be overwhelmed with joy, I could be overwhelmed with obligation, could be overwhelmed with fear, terror. So there's lots of emotions that can produce the experience that someone might call overwhelm. But the same with stress, the same with lost. If you have a coach who says, I'm lost. Well, what emotion is lost?

And I would say, well, it might be uncertainty, it might be ambivalence, it might be confusion. So there's several emotions that might be living there that they haven't identified, but they're describing their experience to you. And your job, in my view, as the coach, is to help them see that. Okay, lost, fantastic. You feel lost. Let's talk about feeling lost and what emotions for you produce that.

sense that you're lost. And often when they can name the emotion, it's hugely relieving to them. If they can say, well I'm ambivalent. Okay, let's talk about ambivalence. What's ambivalence? Well it means I could go either way. Ambient, both, right? Directions. And what does it mean if you take a look at it? It means that I'm faced with a decision between two things that both are important to me.

Dan Newby (37:27.011)
They both might have positive outcomes in my view, or they might both have negative outcomes in my view. They're both important to me. And I'm unsure which way to go. Right? Do I take a job in New York City, or do I take a job in South Africa? Wow. They're both appealing. They're both interesting. They both give me possibilities. And so for the moment, I don't know. I'm a little bit lost in my decision making.

between those two possibilities. But on the other hand, you know, I need an operation because I'm ill, but I don't like operations, so I can either stay with my illness and hope for the best, or I can have the operation which I dread having. So I'm ambivalent about what to do. Yeah.

And ambivalence is one of those emotions. But when we can name it, when we can see it logically, then I think it helps us enormously to decide, okay, what do I need in order to break that gridlock that shows up in ambivalence? What would help me? What would help me be clearer about which decision would be of most value to me? Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (38:46.2)
Thank you for sharing that. That's really interesting. Gives me a whole different perspective on emotional literacy, for sure. I'm curious, what transformations have you seen this work provide clients?

Dan Newby (38:50.157)
Ha ha ha.

Yeah, good.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (39:01.657)
Hmm.

Dan Newby (39:03.343)
I think the biggest one fundamentally is they will tell you that they feel much more peace and they feel much more confidence in the sense that

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (39:15.38)
Mm.

Dan Newby (39:23.737)
they trust themselves more, I think, in their decision making and in their choices and in their, you know, when they solve problems, for instance, or make decisions. So I think they would tell you that in general, that they often feel much more peaceful. There's an expression that we use a lot when we say, somebody is, seems like they're really comfortable in their own skin.

And I think that applies a lot because what happens is you begin to align emotionally but with your values, with your beliefs, with your preferences. And I find that people judge themselves far less. I think particularly when we work with dignity, they feel much more empowered. They feel...

stronger. So I think it depends on what we're working with exactly, but I would say that the shifts I see

are generally quite profound in people is that they see themselves differently. They learn about a part of themselves that they really didn't know very much about before. And often it gave them trouble. It was uncomfortable. And sometimes they were suffering because of the emotions that they were experiencing, but they didn't know what to do with them. They didn't really understand what they were. They didn't know how to shift them. They might not have even known you could shift them. And so it gives them, you

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (40:47.075)
Mm-hmm.

Dan Newby (41:00.065)
toolbox, whole set of possibilities that they could use to resolve their own challenges in life. And I think that, again, this is what we want to do as coaches. We want to inspire and empower them, enable them to, you know...

live their lives in the best way that they can figure out. So if we can help them with that, I think working with emotions is a tremendous place where we can.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (41:33.368)
Thank you. So we're almost at time, I would love for you to share a little bit more and I could continue. I have so many questions. But you have a new book coming out. I'd love for you to share more with the listeners about that work.

Dan Newby (41:44.687)
Yeah, lovely. Well, the new book coming out is called Dignity in Leadership. And it's based on the idea that we're all leaders. I mean, we all lead something. And when we're leading and people are following us is that emotions are a key part of that. And we talk about lots of them. We talk about respect and we talk

passion, et cetera.

But dignity, like I said, a, I always think of it as a kind of uber emotion. Because when we feel dignity, then we can access all those other emotions. Why? Because we're worth it. We're worth spending time on. So we can take care of ourselves. We can set boundaries. We can say no, et cetera. And one of the unique things about dignity is that I can't be in dignity if I don't simultaneously extend dignity

others.

It's an aspect of dignity that I don't see with other emotions. It's quite unique in my, as far as I can discern. But what it means is that as a leader, if we truly stand in dignity, we will extend dignity to others. And what does that mean? Well, it means we treat them with respect. It means we are compassionate. It means we are curious about them, is that we treat them as worthy.

Dan Newby (43:17.173)
human beings and not that we're better and they're worse or they're better and anybody else is worse just simply like we're all in this together so how are we going to make the best of it so the book is really a very practical and pragmatic approach to understanding emotions one but other themes to like perception like how do we perceive ourselves how do we perceive other people

The topic of trust which is huge for leaders huge in organizations Imposter syndrome where we believe we're not worthy and so and that lives in some very very Talented successful leaders also feel unworthy to be in that position and so all of these things add up to it's a kind of guide to not

I mean, I'm sure top CEOs could read it and get something from it. But my co-author and I approach it more from the perspective of there are millions, of leaders in this world who are not. They're managers. They're front line managers. know, they have small teams, small organizations. Sometimes they're just parents running a family, but they're still leaders. And these are people that we can see could

benefit from taking a look at it in a very practical way like, what could I do to be more of the leader I would like to be? And what we did was we approached leaders we know and that we found to write

a story for the beginning of each chapter, so about how what they learned from that chapter helped them as a leader. And these people are all over the world in all sorts of professions and lead at all different levels. And their stories are wonderful because they're truly the stories of leaders and how, for instance, they've had to come to terms with imposter syndrome. They've had to develop dignity because they didn't have it before.

Dan Newby (45:30.095)
even though they were earlier. And there's, the end of each section, there are reflective questions for you to ask yourself and to...

think about, or journal about, but also there are practices. for that, like trust, what could you do to strengthen trust as a feature of your leadership, whether it's people trusting you, or you trusting others, or creating trust in the organization? So the idea is it's really a very practical, I think quite easy to read book about, okay, how can I become more of the leader I want to be?

And how does dignity figure into that?

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (46:11.084)
info.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (46:15.182)
Thank you so much, Dan. Howie, thank you. This has been such a pleasure. Definitely expanded my concept of emotional literacy. So I appreciate that. For those tuning in, we're going to put links to Dan's work in the notes. So if you'd like to connect with him, you can do so through those links and learn more about the work, the amazing work that he's doing in the world.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (46:15.769)
Beautiful.

Dan Newby (46:16.953)
Thank you.

Dan Newby (46:27.597)
Wonderful.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (46:41.536)
And we hope that today's discussion has been a true lantern for your evolution as a business professional, coach or leader. You can learn more about our ICF accredited coach training and leaders coach program by visiting us at integrativeintelligence.global. Until next time, thanks everyone.

Dan Newby (46:59.257)
Thank you both for the invitation. It was delightful.

Howie Adams, NCC, PCC (47:02.893)
Thanks, Dan. Great to be with you.

Dan Newby (47:04.653)
You too.


​
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Crossroads of Change: My Journey to the Middle East

5/13/2025

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“First Day of Work in Saudi Arabia”

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“Why I moved to Saudi Arabia” – A Global Perspective and the Expansion of Coaching

Michael’s message offers an Integratively Intelligent view of cultivating global awareness. 
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Laurel’s Reflection on Integrative Intelligence and the state of the US:

I remember reading years back, before Covid, before George Floyd, how United States as a whole was around the age of a teenager in terms of established country years. While this is chronologically accurate, I see evidence of it often being psychologically accurate. As Michael mentions in his reflection - the US is struggling with its identity.

Thought leaders have even likened this state of division and confusion happening in the US with overarching lower levels of emotional maturity. I can agree that there are observable factors that lead to this conclusion – not for everyone – but overarching in politics and business leadership. For example, lack of maturity is observable in the type of comedy that is prevalent in the US right now. The use of shock humor has exploded. You can’t watch many movies or series without something vulgar and shocking being pushed in your face. It takes little intellectual prowess or critical thinking to throw shock humor into media in order to gain a higher rating.

My personal opinion on how we can gauge maturity is seen by the amount of litter we see in our cities and highways. Yes litter. People throwing trash on the ground demonstrates how little they respect the land that feeds them. We are also seeing people demonstrating “all or nothing thinking”. We see political division, racial unrest, xenophobia, systemic trauma perpetuated, cancel culture, and so on. I see these as symptoms of a deep lack of respect and cultural integration.

Those of us who are not into the noise, who do want to walk with greater maturity and rise above are joining hands to lead and live as contributors to the solutions, contributors to the evolutions and contributors to cultivating global Integrative Intelligence.

​The good news? There is a better way and the time for Integrative Intelligence has arrived. 
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Trees Fall When the Wind is Stronger than The Roots

5/13/2025

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By Laurel Elders

Last week, a powerful storm ripped through my area. The first trip to the grocery store after the storm was riveting. There were some massive trees down. Yet other massive trees were unharmed or just lost a few branches.

It looked as if God had taken a 50 foot tree, plucked it like a weed – roots and all- and then placed it on its side. The roots and surrounding ground all plopped up together.

Why did some trees remain strong while others were ripped out? Well, when the wind becomes stronger than the roots, trees fall.

I realized it is the same when we follow a calling, have children, start a new business or get married. Any big commitment really. If the wind that is bound to come is stronger than the roots of a commitment, the storm can win.

This storm happened at the crossroads of a new realization. I had just finished a podcast where one of my favorite human biologists and bio-hacker Gary Brecka was interviewing Dean Graziosi. Dean was sharing about what helped him remain committed to his life purpose through thick and thin. He said, “The reason for doing something has to be bigger than your reason not to.”

This month my colleague Tabitha and I are running a business success mastermind for coaches. Why? Because all too often really amazing coaches struggle with business launching because the strength of the wind exceeds the strength of their roots, and we are deeply excited to help them shift this. Why are we excited? Because we’ve been there.

Dean went on to credit a consultant for inviting him to do a layered process. Dean was asked WHY seven times. After listening to this I realized, after the seventh “why”, you will locate your deepest roots. You will locate your strongest strength.

Now when we integrate this process with our teaching on declarations (a coaching process where you place a stake in the ground after discovering your truth) you land upon the solid of … your non-negotiable. Our deepest truth is our deepest “why.” This is the strength that endures the storm.

​Let’s bring this to life with a coaching exercise so that you can apply this to your life. I’ll share my example first so you can see it in action. Then, grab some paper, it will be your turn. 


  1. Laurel, why did you start the Institute for Integrative Intelligence? I was giving the opportunity to take the coach training program private in 2016 and I decided to go for it because I wanted it to reach its potential.
  2. Why was taking it private to reach its potential so important? I wanted this profound new concept we’d created to not just live on, but to also evolve. I had followed my heart to get it into the college, so it made sense to be a part of its new life.
  3. Why was being a part of its new life so valuable? I kept a promise to myself to follow what was calling me, even when it was not logical. I wanted to discover what was possible if I trusted myself at a higher level.
  4. Why was trusting yourself at a higher level so key? I grew up never trusting myself, feeling like an outcast and I carried so much self-doubt. Trusting that my life had a higher calling and seeing if I could trust that calling felt deeply important to me.
  5. Why was trusting your higher calling so deeply important to you? I promised myself once I became a mom to never settle and to not exit my life without meeting my potential. Having kids made me turn my life around. I was headed nowhere in life until my first son was born.
  6. Why was meeting your potential so important to you? Growing up I was socially awkward and had a very low self-image. I became so curious what was on the other side of that. I became fascinated with not just my potential, but human potential.
  7. Why was human potential so important to you? As soon I hit middle school, I recognized that humanity wasn’t doing so well. Gangs, violence, trashing the planet and oceans, racism, sex trafficking, the porn industry, greed being valued over people’s lives in our “health care” systems, corporations ignoring what people actually wanted and creating products that were killing people or causing cancer. No other species or animal on the planet was creating this level of disasters with the gift of life. However, I realized humanity is at a false summit and none of this needs to be this way. Taxes, politics, systemic evils – it was all just made up. None of this needed to be this way at all. So, if we are capable of creating almost anything, why are we settling for harmful outcomes? We can equally create miraculous outcomes. It is not a lack of intelligence; it is a lack of vision.
  8. (Added layer) Considering all of this, how does this inform your non-negotiable? I will not exit this planet without contributing to a greater good and without contributing the highest aspects of myself so that future generations have an option to thrive.​

I’m going to be completely transparent. Starting and running the Institute is one of the biggest challenges I’ve committed to stewarding in my life. Being a small business fish in the middle of corporate American sharks is not easy (they call it Shark Tank for a reason). If I didn’t have my bottom line, none of our amazing team, our amazing programs would be here today.
Your turn.
What commitment is top priority in your life right now? Is it parenting, partnering, business, a career? Whatever it is I invite you to self-discover: 

  • What is your seven-layer deepest roots why?
  • What does this layer teach you about your life’s bottom line – your non-negotiable? 

I’d love to hear how this process impacted you. Please comment, share, or reach out. I hope you self-discovery your purpose at a whole new level. Why? Because the storms will continue to storm. How we respond is an inside job.
 
…..
Up next read … The Path of Integration, Featuring Michael Tucker

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Path of Integration – “How to recognize and step fully into your soul's assignment”

5/13/2025

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​Featuring Michael Tucker, Executive Coach & Senior Partner
​Reflections by Laurel Elders, Founder & CEO

Michael Tucker, the Senior Partner here at the Institute, shared another piece of wisdom in his latest video message from Saudi Arabia. For those new to following his adventure, Michael was offered an Executive Coaching position in Saudi Arabia and relocated this year. We are featuring a few of his messages, especially as they relate to cultivating Integrative Intelligence and also expanding into a global perspective.

I’ve posted Michael’s powerful message below. After watching, I invite you to consider the coaching prompts that follow so that you can deepen your path of integration.


The Three Phases of Your Soul’s Assignment, by Michael Tucker:

Micheals Substack video:
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I appreciate Michael’s message this week because I realized that each time I distract myself with TV, with the Marjon app on my phone, or FB, I am squandering the gifts I’ve been granted in this lifetime. 

The definition of squander is to “waste something” valuable. I decided to move from squandering to pondering.
What happens when we can sit with ourselves? Our gifts come to life. Our purpose gets enriched. The unresolvable resolves. The unhealed, heals.

One of my most cherished metaphorical life lessons is found by learning more about ducks. Those of you who know me are probably thinking, “Oh not the ducks again!” Yes, the ducks again. Why? The lesson we can glean from ducks is one of the most valuable life lessons for optimizing our potential.

Ducks float because they preen their feathers. They apply an oil slick that allows the water to repel off the top feathers. Should the down feathers beneath get water-logged, they could sink like a brick. I saw this wisdom at the heart of Michael’s message. What do you need to do to rise above the drowning noise?

For me it is a spiritual practice and morning workout. Now I’m adding less TV time, more pondering and space to build my gifts. When we elevate our gifts, they elevate us.

I invite you to sit with Michael’s message as an invitation. What phase is your soul in? How can you go all in? What helps you remain elevated?

“And if you do this with these phases of your soul’s assignment when you leave this place, this plane – when you transition - you will know you have lived a life that is worthy of you.” So that you can become the most “authentic powerful version of yourself”, you are invited to “master art of going within.”

​
Michael reminds us to: “Heal deeply. Create boldly. Serve powerfully.”
We invite you to follow Michael’s journey and global leadership messages:
  • Substack: @futureproofleadership
  • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrmichaeltucker
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How To Acquire Five Referral Partners So That You Can Keep Your Business Organically Booming

5/12/2025

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By Laurel Elders, MCC

What is one key way to craft a successful business that builds itself? Referrals!
Today, I want to teach you a formula for crafting a business that builds itself by cultivating five referral partners.

Why five? Notice the word “partners”. A partnership is when two or more people come together for a mutual relationship, purpose or mission. Partnerships require nurturing to remain activated and alive. If you take on too many partners, the nurturing can fizzle, and this can minimize the potential for reciprocity.

Not to worry! More than five people can and will refer you. However, we want to start off by building the partnership part so that your entire referral system will optimize.

Before diving in, let’s talk value. Referrals are so valuable because they are a shortcut to building trust. New clients are not always going to be people you know. They are going to include people who have never met you.

If someone they trust, recommends you, then they are much closer to trusting you than someone who is coming to you without any previous trust points. If there is no trust point, the question “Are you trustworthy?” can be booming in the back of their mind.

Since building trust can take weeks, months or years, referrals can save you mountains of time, energy, talent and money when growing and sustaining a thriving business.

Step One: Examine Immediate Relationships

This step is simple. Take 10-20 minutes, scroll through your phone or social media channels and answer this question:
Who in my circle is in front of my ideal clients daily, where my services could be a powerful resource and solution for their challenges?

As I mentioned in the article, Three Simple Ways to Overcome Business Blues and Blossom in 2025, these are some key considerations depending on your niche:
  • Coaching niche: Retirement. Referral partner: Fiduciary.
  • Coaching niche: Life. Referral partner: Chiropractor.
  • Coaching niche: Leadership. Referral partner: Consultant.
​
Make a list of each person you can think of. If you have five or more, then you can skip Step Two and get to work on completing Step Three. If you do not have five, then Step Two is critical.

Step Two: List Out Potential Relationships

This step is going to require more thought and intention. Take 20-30 minutes and consider:
Who is not yet in my circle that is in front of my ideal clients daily, where my services could be a powerful resource and solution for their challenges?

Brainstorming can include associations, groups and communities. However, keep in mind that the ultimate goal is not to partner with a group, but a single individual within the group. Hanging flyers at a church might get you a few interests, but the direct partnership can yield much more value over time.

Make a list of what groups or professional stand out to you as a potential partner.
For the groups, locate the person in charge and place their name as your contact for now. For the professionals, just list them by name for now.

Step Three: Prioritize Your Lists & Approach
  • Including my Step One list, who do I want to approach first, second, third, etc.? Set the prioritized list aside for now.
  • Now it is time to create a list of creative outreach ideas for each of your top five. You can offer to take them to lunch, be interviewed if you have a podcast, or (place your other idea here). One woman brought bagels to the front desk of a company, left her card for the manager. She landed a large contract from this. With this step it can help to get really creative!
This step can feel vulnerable. Anytime we approach new people, we are putting ourselves out there. I invite you to use the coaching skill of “take it or leave it”. You are reaching out to see if there is a potential partnership.  
​

       You can also ask colleagues for help if you feel stuck or unable to come up with fresh ideas.

Ok, before you begin reaching out to your lists from Step One and Two, please ensure Step Three is completed in full.

Step Four: Consider Reciprocity

Ok, my friend, you have you lists! Congratulations! The next step is to consider:
          What could my potential partner gain by partnering with me?

List out all of the benefits you could provide. Ex: mutual referrals, a Thank You monetary stipend or affiliate fee, advertising on your website as a partner, other. Get really creative here too.

It also helps to consider what motivates this person. For example, fiduciaries may love the extra monetary stipend. Other coaches in different niches, may be more motivated by positive impact, you can offer to donate to their favorite charity. Really consider what would have the most value for them.

If you don’t know, that is ok. You can always ask them later. One thing I’ve seen work well is have a list ready and let them choose what has most meaning, value or benefit to them.

 
Step Five: Water the Garden You Wish to Create

Now that you have built a sound partnership foundation, it is time to approach your potential partners and see if they would love to partner with you. There is no one right or wrong way to do this.

What approach is best aligned with who you are? Sending a video, dropping off bagels, or sending a handwritten card and invitation to lunch? I invite you to have fun with this. Even it every contact on your list doesn’t end up in a partnership, you have gained another networking connection in the world.

After you gain a new partnership, consider the cadence of connection. How often will you check in, go out lunch, to send a random thank you gift, or just touch base? I recommend quarterly, but also consider the needs of your partner.

Coaches who skip this step can see their referrals sizzle out. Or the partner may not prioritize the partnership if you don’t.

Step Six: Embrace Your Clients as One of Your Key Partners

Once you get the ball of referral partners rolling, it Step Five becomes paramount of importance. Find a way to nurture and embrace all past clients as referral partners. I can tell you firsthand, when I have lost touch with past clients and remember to get in touch years later, one of two things can happen.

They say, “Oh my gosh, I forgot I could have called you as a resource.” Or they say, “Darn I already hired so and so.” Every now and then they hire you again because of the reach out. My point is that if you stay in touch, response 1 and 2 can be avoided. It isn’t personal, people are just busy and are bombarded with new information and new people daily.


Consider:
  • What is my strategy to stay well connected to all past clients (even ones I gave a free session to and didn’t sign up)?​

This won’t be a single idea. It can have layers. For example, one of the consultants I work with periodically sends a Valentines letter to all of his past and active clients. This is a great gesture and keeps us connected. You may choose to send a free birthday session, or card. There are so many options.

Also, keeping actively in touch once a quarter or twice a year, can help people remember you are there and remember they can refer you, or sign up with you at any time.

In Summary

There you have it. Five simple, doable steps to fostering a coaching business that grows itself. It will take effort of course. Nurturing does require effort. However, it is much less effort that running ads, or placing flyers, and always needing to get in front of new people.

If you are seeking a group of like-hearted coaches to do this work with, and that is spearheaded by an expert in building six figure coaching businesses, I invite you to join us! I’m hosting a mastermind for ten coaches who are all building their businesses organically using principles like these.
​

If this is you, please visit me here and consider if you will be one of the ten! We kick off May 28th https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/biz-launch-mastermind.html​

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What Does It Really Take to Launch a Purpose-Driven Coaching Business?

5/6/2025

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Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (00:01.422)
We're live. Welcome back Tabitha. Yes. Yes. I'm excited for our follow-up conversation today. And for those tuning in, welcome to our business launch for coaches discussion today. We're here to help coaches lead a lucrative and fulfilling life while making a radically positive impact in the world. Your hosts today are myself, Laurel elders and Tabitha Danlow of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (00:04.645)
Bye! Thanks for having me.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (00:23.676)
Yes.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (00:30.466)
where it's our mission to elevate human potential through the art and the science of masterful coaching and Tabitha I'm so thrilled to have this follow-up chat with you because we both share a passion for helping coaches cultivate their own authentic unique marketing plan and experience business success. before we yeah.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (00:53.339)
Yes, so true.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (00:56.374)
So before we dive in, can you share a little bit more about your background with sales and marketing, but also how about how you leverage your success as a six figure coach?

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (01:07.238)
Yeah, I'd love to. So funnily enough, I feel like where I started with my sales and marketing knowledge and success was my part-time college job when I was 20 in Mary Kay Cosmetics. So I needed some extra cash. And so I started selling Mary Kay. And within a year, I became a sales director and I earned a free Mary Kay car.

And I just loved that business. understood it. I loved working with people and I loved and I'm very grateful that I had some really good mentors at the time that didn't just teach me how to sell. Like didn't you know the creepy sales? Like it was like, hey, we're here to educate. We're here to help. We're here to inform and then let people make their own decisions. And so I feel really blessed that early on I got such an early

I got such a clean view of sales, I guess. I got such a different perspective of sales. And I think it's interesting, like if we look at what it is in actually being a coach and our coaching presence and our coaching skills that we learn, it's kind of the same thing you can leverage to be really good at sales and marketing.

It's asking open-ended questions. It's literally trying to connect with the person and not try to tell them what to do, right? We're trusting our clients to guide themselves. And so I feel like a lot of what I learned, I could apply directly to my coaching experience to then create my coaching practice and become profitable in about nine months and then quickly move into six figures.

So that was a big part of it and I'm really grateful. I feel lucky that I found all that at 20 and kind of the journey that it took me on. And there was a lot of other things in there. There was some time in corporate America, there was some time in Africa, you long story, but we'll keep people interested in the bigger story someday.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (03:08.526)
Yes, I love that. I know your story. It's very, very inspiring. And yeah, so today we decided to hop on live because we're so excited.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (03:13.615)
Thanks.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (03:21.494)
We are offering a new program that we have never offered before. And this is actually something you can blame me for because Tabitha was tapping me on the shoulder. Like we need to offer group. We need to offer a group. need to offer a mastermind of like, okay, we'll get there. We'll get there. Well, the time has come. So we are actually launching this year and it's exciting because group work can be so powerful. can gain networking support for.

A lifetime really. I mean, you make those connections and, build that, that support. And it all starts with a business mastermind that we're offering. It's going to be six months and just a little teaser right now. We're offering an early adopters rate. So for the next six days, if you do register as an early adopter closes April 30th, you will secure your spot.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (03:51.492)
Mm-hmm.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (04:19.054)
but also save $359, which is always, you know, a great benefit to signing up early.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (04:23.33)
Nice.

Absolutely, girl math, go buy yourself something nice, you know, like.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (04:32.789)
So more details to come at the end, but we do always like to offer early adopter rates because it, it allows us to prepare really well in advance, which saves us lots of time and effort on our end. we thank you on extend that to our participants. So let's get to the fun stuff. Let's dive in today. We're going to be discussing who this mastermind is really designed for.

And this is so important because this mastermind group is not for everyone. So we want to be really clear about who it is for. We want to make sure that if you do want to join us, that it's a really good fit for you. That's really important. It's not just important to us, but it's important to your own success. And so I really hope by the end of this discussion that you'll gain enough clarity around whether this program was perfectly designed just for you.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (05:29.761)
Yay!

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (05:30.572)
Yeah. All right. So who this is for, you know, I was giving this more thought in preparation for our conversation today. And, the first thing that came to mind is coaches who need accountability to get on the other side of business stagnation.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (05:49.975)
Yep, so true. Yes, I think that we all have moments where we need some gentle accountability. But if you're someone that has a vision, feel your soul's purpose calling you into this coaching world and you know you're not really getting out there, that's not serving you or the world. The world really needs a lot of coaches right now, I think. And so...

Yeah, this is going to be really helpful to have some steady accountability for six months straight with peers that are struggling in the same way that you are. And I think there's a lot of power in that type of accountability as well, that you're not feeling singled out and you're not feeling like, it's just me. No, many of us procrastinate. Many of us get overwhelmed or really paralyzed and trying to build a business. And so I think there's

some really powerful accountability in being with peers that are facing what you're facing.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (06:48.482)
That's a really good point. on the flip side of that, it's not just accountability. There might be some coaches that are seeking just that forward momentum. Like they're good with the accountability part, but they want forward momentum and they want to be taking steps in really meaningful, well-designed, you know, ways.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (07:06.765)
Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (07:09.592)
So the other quality that came to mind is or situation is, you know, really looking at coaches who are ready to launch and they but they want that fellowship with others. They want to launch together.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (07:26.775)
Yeah, I love this part. I think this is where my heart has just really been leaning more and more into like the group work and this collaborative experience for many reasons. I'm a solopreneur. I'm used to running the race by myself. And that's probably one of the big reasons I love running the race with others is I like being the cheerleader that they don't usually get. Like I like being on that sideline cheering them on and encouraging them when they've had a bad day.

But I think we really need that for each other. I think we need that for ourselves and for each other. I think a lot of magic can happen in collaborative work where you can be lifted up by your peers when you're like, I don't know, does this sound good? Does this look good? Because we can share thoughts and ideas and would you mind looking at this and giving me your opinion? And then hearing, my gosh, we love this. This is such a great idea. It can help get over imposter syndrome moments, right? It can help kind of.

push us into that forward momentum a little bit more. But I think there's also different personalities really thrive in this and some don't. Some really don't thrive in the group setting. So trust if that's you, you know, that might not be for you, but some of us really love collaborative teamwork. If you're an external processor, even having like others to process with can be really helpful.

And just to know you're in that synergy, it just creates a different energy sometimes when you have like a team that you're launching with in a way versus just you. And I'm most excited about that, I think, actually. So, yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (09:05.314)
Yeah, I love that. So true. Right. Cause not everybody thrives in groups.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (09:10.742)
Yeah, I have some clients that, you know, have jumped in over the years as I've offered different group things and they don't thrive in that space. They really need the one-on-one help. And sometimes people need a little bit of both. There's still absolutely opportunities to have a one-on-one coach in different ways. It doesn't just have to be me, but having sometimes both at different moments can be really powerful. And like, so where are you at in your business journey? What's holding you back? Do you need?

a group of people to feel like, my gosh, I'm not alone in this. And I think that can be really powerful.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (09:47.534)
And we're offering both actually. So yeah, we have two spots to work privately with Tabitha in addition to the mastermind work. if you are someone, yeah. if you, yeah. So if you are someone that, does best with, with both group and private, we do offer that option. So we'll, we'll again, more details at the end for that.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (09:49.952)
Yeah, we are. We haven't talked about that, but we are.

kind of forgot about that. Whoops. So excited about the mastermind.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (10:14.164)
Yeah. I love when you and I get really excited we forget stuff. That's definitely a Tabitha Laurel thing right there. We're like, my gosh.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (10:19.15)
Yeah. All right. So the other quality I came up with, are coaches who really want to integrate a strategy that is really true to them. My new passion, my new passionate message is success is math, but it's not just math, right? There's formulas that can help us, but there's our internal success formula.

Right. And that's what we as coaches help our clients come up with. So I think that's one of my biggest, pet peeves about some of the programs out there is they don't help people. Develop their own unique success formula. And that is so key. mean, we've talked about just you and I have different, are right. I'm an introvert. You're more extroverted. So we're going to have totally different success formulas and

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (11:08.331)
Yeah. we're so dead.

Just a little.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (11:18.542)
this program we've really designed for those seeking that.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (11:23.265)
Absolutely. Yeah, you and I have had a lot of conversations about some of those one size fits all programs. And I will just say with all the love in my heart that I really struggle with those programs because of how many people have come to me after they've spent tens of thousands of dollars and had no success or very little success. And then they come sit with me. They hire me as a coach and they're just

devastated or they've blown their life savings. We're starting over from scratch. And, you know, of course I'm always willing and wanting to help those people, but it just breaks my heart that we even had to get there. Like those are really good sales technique programs because they make you think that you won't be successful unless you do it their way. But that's not the truth. What's most important is to figure out how are you going to show up?

in your authentic voice that aligns with your values, that aligns with your soul's mission on earth. And that makes you feel really good about doing sales and marketing every day because that's also something that I think I hear from a lot of entrepreneurs is, I don't really like sales and marketing, but I know I have to do it. So I just do it. And it's the lifeline of your business. Really, like unless you're going to

you know, become an internal coach and you don't need to go find clients. Like you're going to have to find clients somewhere. And so if you can't find something that feels really good and aligned with marketing on a regular basis, this is going to get real hard, real fast. And no one else can do it better than you. There's no other coach that's built just like you. You're one of a kind. And so your marketing needs to be one of a kind.

Sure, we're going to share some general techniques and thoughts and strategies, but then make it yours. Put your spin and flavor onto it. And what works for Laurel definitely doesn't work for Tabitha. I tried really hard one time to get her to a marketing thing and she came out of respect. I know on our last one, and I'll just never forget that. That was such a learning moment for me.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (13:34.67)
We talked about this last time.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (13:41.09)
Yeah. I was like, I told you, I tried. I really did try. really did.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (13:45.383)
You really did. I'm so sorry. I did not listen. And that was, you know, I don't know, 15 years ago. was a long time. Maybe not. 10.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (13:51.702)
It was, yeah. Yeah. So funny. So the, the next quality that, really popped up for me was coaches who want to learn authentic ways. mean, kind of just what you talked about, but more heart centered business building and staring away from, you know, those inauthentic sales tactics, the tactics, they don't want the tactics. mean, that's.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (14:18.75)
Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (14:21.334)
I get why myself included did not want to do sales and marketing. I just, you know, but I did want the business. So I am here to, and Tabitha to, to let coaches know it doesn't have to be that way at all. can be and sales can be an authentic expression of your coaching. mean, it really can line up with your core values and be more of a, a blessing.

to meet and connect with amazing clients that need you and need your services.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (14:55.005)
Yes, absolutely. And if you're watching this and you're feeling this like, you hear the word sales, that might be some one-on-one work to bring into private coaching. Like there are sometimes limiting beliefs we have to shift around this word or this concept so that it can become something really heart centered and holistic. I sometimes really like to just re-explain that really, really good sales is great education and support.

I'm going to give, I'm going to empower my potential client with all the information that they need, with all the education that I can give them so that they can make a choice. And there's a level of empowerment right there. When you give someone the ability to make a choice, you're giving them freedom, you're giving them agency. And that's treating our clients exactly how we're supposed to as coaches. That we're trusting them.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (15:47.416)
Yep. Yeah.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (15:49.864)
to have the right and perfect answers inside of them, not us. So there is no need for pushy sales if we actually use our coaching skills to just really empower and listen to our clients and then give them the choice and decision. That's all we have to do.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (16:04.078)
Yep. And learn how to use our authentic message, our authentic voice to really make that connection so that the client can decide.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (16:07.774)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, and that's where you bring your beautiful authenticity into it. Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (16:17.986)
Yeah. I'm so glad you brought up the, you know, the aversion to sales and marketing, cause I struggled with that. And I had to do a rework around the word sales. And what I came up with was it's like a ship has a sale and somebody can't reach you unless you provide this pathway. they nail into your work with, you know, the work with you and that, you know, so there's some fun ways that, you can shift that relationship.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (16:27.058)
Yeah.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (16:32.765)
haha

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (16:37.351)
How adorable, I love it.

Yeah.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (16:47.666)
I love that. You made me remember something else I've shared with a few clients and it's like, for those of you who are really afraid of sales and marketing or feel like that, you know, that kind of grossness with it, I totally get it. I remember that moment. I, most of us have been there, okay? Very few, you know, few people, maybe not, but most of us have. But let's look at this in a different perspective if we, if I'm allowed to.

If we're asking our clients to show up and do really vulnerable work with us, right? Like we're asking them to trust us enough to bring us, to bring them on this journey, right? To bring us along. Like there's a level of vulnerability we're asking in them for that. And so isn't it up to us to start that vulnerability first? So I almost look at sales as like, if I'm going to ask my client to do this bold,

Vulnerable thing then it's my job to start that by like extending the first hand I'm gonna be the one to show them vulnerability first I'm gonna be the one to show them courage first by one staying in my authenticity Knowing that not every I'm not gonna be everyone's cup of tea. I'm not and then to You know hoping that if they like my invitation, they'll join me, but they still might not But really trusting that I did everything right for my

my values and for theirs. And that's where that choice comes back in.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (18:17.102)
you give an example of, sorry, of vulnerability? Just, cause I can imagine, you know, I've just put myself in shoes of the list. I'm like, I have to be vulnerable. What does that mean? What am I like spilling out my whole life story? What is happening?

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (18:28.13)
Hehehehe

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (18:32.413)
Yeah, that's such a great question. You know, I think if we start to really listen in on the resistance to sales, that initial like, that we feel, if we go behind the first layer, which is usually like, I don't like sales and sales is capitalism and whatever it is. So like, I'm not trying to minimize that. That's true. But in my experience of doing this for a really long time, because I'm going to be 40 this year. Yay.

So 20 years of teaching people sales and marketing, that blows my mind, Laurel. What's beneath that is a fear of rejection.

So when we put ourselves out there, people will say no. And that can hurt, that can be really vulnerable to have someone say no after we put our hearts out there. But at the same time, that's what we're teaching our clients. Like we're literally showing them how to lead through courage and vulnerability in that process.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (19:33.134)
Yeah. And it's a matter of alignment or non alignment. So it's really not a rejection. It just may not be alignment, which you don't want to welcome in non alignment, right? So it actually works really well. Yeah.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (19:36.73)
Yeah. No. Yeah.

Exactly. But we have to like get there, right? Because initially maybe our some of our ego parts or our protective parts are like, I don't want to face rejection when you realize they're like, my gosh, why would I spend time with people that I'm not in alignment with? Right. And that their no has nothing to do with my worth, has nothing to with my worth as a human, my worth as a coach, my value as a coach or human has nothing to do with it. So there's sometimes some

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (19:55.747)
Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (20:00.674)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (20:05.57)
Right.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (20:13.625)
That's what I mean by vulnerability in some of the internal work.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (20:16.45)
Yeah, it makes sense. it's some of those internal shifts are, are so powerful. And I was, I forget who I was listening to the other day, but they, I think it was a podcast and they made this statement. The person who I am now is not the same person as when I started my business. Your business will elevate you as a human being because it requires you to step fully into your why.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (20:39.621)
Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (20:45.678)
who you are, your core values, and really live those out.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (20:49.692)
100%. I just the other day yesterday I did a free session with a potential client and they were like, so are you a business coach or are you a life coach? And I was like, yes. And so I explained I'm an integrative coach, you know, from the Institute of Integrative Intelligence. And, and I said, you know, I, yes, I'm here for business coaching. I know that that's the main goal that you have, but I've never seen people.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (20:59.662)
That's right.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (21:18.551)
up level their businesses without up leveling their own evolution. I have never seen it.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (21:26.014)
and the power of group process, if that is in alignment with, know, yeah. All right. So how about who this is not for? I was thinking more on that. You know, there is a level of commitment to showing up live. Groups work when, you know, unless there's an emergency, of course, but that commitment to showing up for yourself, but also showing up for the group.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (21:30.583)
Absolutely.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (21:51.067)
For others,

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (21:51.934)
Every participant is bringing forward their own unique wisdom and contributing. it's not just, you know, Tabitha is an amazing, expert and the wisdom of we, right? That's the mastermind.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (22:04.929)
hands. Exactly. It's not just about me. What's probably more important is the group synergy that will create like the group wisdom that will become. yeah. And I think sometimes I love that you said that because I think there's a level of self accountability and accountability to others that you just spoke to. And you know, sometimes what I hear from people that it's not a good fit for group work is if you just feel really drained after those types of group meetings versus

energized and excited, maybe that's a clue that it's not a good fit for you. But if you're someone who's like, my gosh, I feel really jazzed after I get to sit with a group of my peers and share and hear and listen to what they have to say, then that's a good sign that it is a good fit. So think of kind of your energy experience in those situations.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (22:54.542)
Well, and I will say as a fellow massive introvert, small group. Yeah. So small group is different than a group of 50 or a hundred, right? You just get lost. And so we intentionally designed it. We're capping it at 10 because we want everyone to have a voice to get the exact support that they are needing. And 10 is a really.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (22:58.234)
Massive. And we love that about you.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (23:09.813)
yeah!

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (23:24.174)
posy number for that.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (23:25.283)
Yes, yeah, absolutely. Even with my extrovertedness, doing this with a group of like 20 feels so different and like 50, my extrovert starts to have feelings about that. So yeah, I love that this is gonna be a really cozy, intimate, dare I say, group of peers that we can all work together.

and collaborate and just grow and experience these launches and celebrate these launches. That's also something I'm really looking forward to is as people have wins and have successes. I just think it's so important that we get some type of praise and celebration in this world. I feel like we just get a lot of bad news and we get a lot of hard news and why not get a chance to celebrate each other sometimes? I think that's really powerful. Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (24:14.604)
Yeah, absolutely. The other thing to consider who this is not for, if you do not have a solid four to five hours a week to devote and commit to actually doing the work. So this is very action oriented and support driven.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (24:24.709)
yeah. Yes.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (24:32.622)
Yes, yes good. That's a great reminder.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (24:37.316)
the other thing is, if you're, it's, almost silly to say this, but if you're unwilling to contemplate and self-reflect because those internal pieces come up. Yeah. So I don't know that that applies to this group, but that is, you know, there has to be a willingness to really go inside and say, what is my truth? What is my message? And spend some time contemplating. It's not going to all be, you know,

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (24:47.172)
then why did you become a coach?

Buddha.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (24:56.249)
Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (25:06.728)
Admin work. There's a level of contemplation that's needed for authentic marketing.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (25:12.442)
Absolutely. Yeah, it's funny that does seem kind of like a well sure they're all coaches Why wouldn't they be in you know open to that and yet with sales and marketing? That's where I think we do find the most resistance To looking inward because there's usually some stuff there for people So I love that you said that that's important

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (25:32.428)
And the other thing to consider is if you're not at a place where you're ready or able to invest in marketing, education and support because we don't want anyone joining that this would be a hardship for them. If anything, we want to see you gain those eight to 10 clients and hopefully, I I'm, I'm imagining just gaining the two clients would cover the tuition and the backend support and all of that. anything else on that one Tabitha?

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (25:58.489)
Absolutely. Yeah, I think that's really important. know, people can sense when you're doing, let's say, a free session to hopefully invite them into coaching. They can sense if you're doing this because it's a true invitation of energy alignment or if you're like, my gosh, I really need the cash right now. And so if you're in a place where this is going to create so much pressure to get clients because you can barely

cover the cost of tuition or pay your bills, like there's probably a step before this that needs to happen. Yeah, because otherwise it's too, it's so much pressure for you and your clients, your potential clients will feel that in those meetings. Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (26:33.944)
That's a good point.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (26:43.586)
Yeah. After I transitioned from in as internal coach to, growing my practice. So I grew a practice a few times and then, I mean, I've been a coach for 20 years. I think I shared, this is my 20th year. Very exciting. and so the couple, the one time that I transitioned, I did part-time work as I grew my clientele backup. Right. So there can be those moments. So just check in with yourself.

Make sure that you're able to commit to the process and the work that's going to help you be successful. Anything else that you'd love our listeners to consider?

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (27:19.321)
Yeah.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (27:27.224)
You know, I've really been sitting in contemplation a lot of this word soulpreneur. And I just heard it recently and I don't know why I didn't hear it. Cause I guess it's been around for a while, but oh, did my heart sing when I heard that word. And I guess for me, it comes down to like, if you know in your heart of hearts that you're supposed to be doing this and you haven't figured out how to get launched.

Like, I really want you to be in this group. I really wanna help because there's a reason that that like soul's calling is in you. And I just really think it's important to be in this world living our purpose. That's really personally important to me. And so if there's anything Laurel or myself or the school can do to help that, even if it's not this program, but it's something else that you're like, yeah, I don't know if this is the right time or.

You know, if it is great, we're excited to have you, but I just think we, don't want fear to be the reason why you don't do it.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (28:36.75)
Yeah. Nice. Lovely. All right. So I am so sorry. I have my, my emergency contacts and they can call through. And so I forgot to turn my phone on airplane. So I'm just going to own that.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (28:45.016)
Our timer!

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (28:54.584)
That's okay. You know what? I love that. You just demonstrated the real life of a coach and an entrepreneur and a real human that's juggling a lot of things. So you know what? All good.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (29:07.992)
Thank you.

All right. So again, for the next six days, we have the early adopter rate and that does close April 30th. We'll put links in the chat so that you can, you know, check out what we're up to. And if you want to secure a spot, we would love to have you if it's a really good fit for you. If you're not sure, reach out to me. I would love to have a conversation to help you get clear. I'm absolutely available.

I will make sure that my contact information is available to you so that we can connect over over that before you sign up and just a little bit about what you receive. This is six months of success support and beyond. the Facebook group, we're going to have a private Facebook group. That group is going to be live as long as you want it. So those you can continue to support your evolution as a business.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (30:06.656)
day.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (30:06.888)
And we also have, we cover all the key basis. So we've got business success checklist. So you can, you can go through and just double check. Did I do this? Did I get this done? or you can identify what's missing. also have 14 90 minute monthly business success calls. So Tabitha is going to give a lesson and then we've shift to group coaching. So you're going to receive individualized support. You're going to have, one.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (30:29.398)
Yeah.

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (30:36.45)
You're going to be in the, what we call the hot seat once a month, you're going to get one-on-one support in group with Tabitha and, lots of group activities that are going to help you eliminate and get on the other side of procrastination. you deal with that. and also invitations to get your message honed in, get your why honed in all of those, you're going to receive.

recordings of each of the sessions. And as we mentioned earlier, there's two options. You can take the group mastermind or we have two spots open to do both private work with Tabitha and do the group process. So you can check those out in the links below and we hope this has been really illuminating for you. And if you're called to get this type of love and support, nurturing and education, we invite you to check out the 2025 mastermind.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (31:09.238)
.

Tabitha Danloe, PCC (31:33.022)
Yes! Hope to see you there. it did it!

Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC (31:33.346)
Bye!

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Three Simple Ways to Overcome Business Blues and Blossom in 2025

5/6/2025

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By Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC

Experiencing Business Blues? Lack of growth or needing more client's? Here are three symptoms of Business Blues and how to diagnose and locate the cure.

Whether you are not yet signing up the clients you want or need, or you are looking to expand your business, this article walks you through three ways to diagnose and fix the gaps in your desired business success. I want for you to get out of the business blues and to step into your business blossoming.

First: Let’s look at the word blossom. A blossom occurs when a the flower on a plant reaches maturity and blooms. Merriam-Webster states it is, “A peak period or stage of development.” And “the state of bearing flowers.” Metaphorically, we want our business to bear flowers, to reach its peak, to optimize.
If you haven’t experienced this peak yet, that is ok. Below I cover three ways to identify the gaps and close them so you can move from business surviving to business thriving.

#1 – “I’m offering free sessions but no one is signing on.”

If you are in this scenario, there are a few things to look at.
The first is your sales process. I know, I know. People don’t like to think of sales. But think of it like a sail on a boat. If you want more clients, they need a way to sail over to your services. How you create that pathway is VERY important. We teach our coaches how to craft an invitation and deliver a free first session that enhances the client sign-up experience and thus increases new client sign-ups. If you do not know how to do this, please reach out. I will share our process with you to help you get over this hurdle.
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The other issue that can absolutely prevent sign-ups is lack of confidence or clarity around your coaching services. If it is lack of confidence, please skip ahead to symptom #3. If it is lack of clarity, then read on.

Lack of clarity means your contract, rates, or coaching process still feels fuzzy to you. If you can’t speak about your services with absolute concise clarity and confidence (after practicing in a mirror until it rolls off of your tongue naturally), then the solution is simple … get clear before conducting any further free sessions.

Consider, “What parts of my services still feel unclear to me?” Tidy those up. Practice speaking clearly about your offers. When you are clear, new clients will feel clear.
What if you have your sales session down, you know how to invite clients to sign up, you are clear about your offers and still nobody is saying yes?

If you find that clients are not signing on, then it is time for feedback. After we graduate from coach training, we can assume we are good to go. However, there can be hiccups in our approach that we might be blind too. Asking for candid feedback will help you close any gaps.

To do this, reach out to friends, other coaches, colleagues and offer five free sessions in exchange for their candid feedback. Relate to them as if they were a new client so that they can experience your approach. After the session, email them these questions:

  • How was your overall experience with me?
  • What felt off, or a little rough? What could I have done to enhance your experience?
  • What advice do you have for me to improve my services?
  • Were there any moments that I handled really well? If yes, what were they and how did they have a positive impact?
  • What else would you like to share with me about improving my service as a coach?  

After gaining insights, I invite you to really take the feedback to heart and use it to improve. As you improve, your client sign-ups will improve.

#2 – I would love to build my business off referrals, but I’m not getting any yet.

Good news. This is very solvable! First, hands down, you want to acquire five referral partners. These are five individuals (not companies) who know, trust and love you. These five would also be people in front of your ideal client's. Examples of key referral partners:

  • Coaching niche: Retirement. Referral partner: Fiduciary.
  • Coaching niche: Life. Referral partner: Chiropractor.
  • Coaching niche: Leadership. Referral partner: Consultant.

Do you see the connection? Creating these partners is a blessing to them because you are a resource for their clients and there is zero competition with them. If you do not yet have five referral partners, and want tips on acquiring these, I’ll be posting the next article on this very important key to amplifying your success.

Referrals are the best, easiest and fastest way to succeed as a coach. This is because if you are recommended by someone a person already trusts, then you do not have to spend time demonstrating that your service is a safe and trustworthy investment for them. This saves you time, energy and money.

If I had only one piece of advice to give you, it is to build a referral based business. Yes, do other things to market, but do not skip this one key step.

#3 – I want more than anything to be a successful coach, but I’m so nervous about marketing. I suffer from impostor syndrome.
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This is so common. It can feel so vulnerable to put yourself out there in new ways. You are not at all alone. Some things to consider:

  • Why did you become a coach? Stand strong in your passion and conviction. Stand strong in your WHY. You can even create a passion statement and read it to yourself each morning before you market or meet with new potential clients.
  • As Leila Hormozi puts it, “You don’t have imposter syndrome. You are just new.” It is normal to feel nervous anytime we start something new. Remind yourself, it is ok to feel nervous, because it means you care.
  • Successfully maintaining clients takes one ingredient. Cultivate this one ingredient and you will do just fine as you expand your business into the success you seek. This single simple ingredient is… care. Can you care about your clients enough so they feel supported, loved and considered? Yes. Absolutely you can. This leads to even more referrals down the road. This leads to longevity of the coaching partnership. This leads to new connections. Care. Care. Care.

My final message to you is that you have everything you need to succeed at this. You just need to lean further into your process and learn from those who have come before you. Trust me. I learned the hard way. Learning the hard way cost me years of my time, energy and potential income. There is a better way.

If you are ready to gain direction and insights like these, I’m offering a group mastermind of ten like-hearted coaches who are ready to launch their coaching business by expanding their clientele. If this is you, please visit me here: https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/biz-launch-mastermind.html

Also! Today I covered the top three symptoms and how to diagnose them. Do you have a scenario not included above? Message me anonymously and I’ll answer it for you one of my upcoming articles. No need to go it alone. As Simon Sinek says, together is better! 

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