E-Quips: Three Considerations for Coaching New Leaders

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Bryant Alexander:
Okay, we are officially live. So welcome to another iteration of coaching, uh, equips. And these are weekly coaching tips that equip coaches, future coaches, and coach like leaders to develop their excellence in coaching. Right. So, let me see. Make sure that we are okay. We are live. And I think, uh. Okay. Kristen, you came back. You came back. You were frozen for a minute, but now you're back.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Oh, freezing up.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah. Yeah. So, um, again, this is another iteration of eclipse. Um, so I'll be your host for today. Laurel will not be here today, unfortunately, but we have a special, special guest. We have Doctor Kristen Truman Allen, who is a instructor at the Institute. So, one of my instructors, but also an ICF Certified Coach and, uh, training education provider. And I'm excited to talk to Kristen today because she shares in the same passion that I share in, that Laurel shares in, and everybody at the Institute shares in, and helping to elevate human potential through the art and science of masterful coaching. So, just as a reminder, we host equips every Tuesday live. So if you want to receive these in your inbox, you can find a sign up link in our newsletter. And you can find that link in the chat. Today's topic is going to be the considerations for coaching new leaders. But before we get into that, what I would like to do is give Kristen a chance to introduce herself, because I don't think I did it justice. And I want to give you the space, Kristen, to just introduce yourself to the audience. Tell us a little bit about yourself, your work, how you came to coaching.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Thank you, Bryant.

Bryant Alexander:
Kristen, you froze on me again, so we'll give it a minute to come back. Apologies, everyone. A little bit of a technical challenge right now, but Kristen will be back in a second. Kristen, you are back. You're back.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Okay, we'll try this again. So, I was saying that I found coaching as a new leader and was being coached and found that crazy valuable. And so I decided to become a coach and a coach like leader. And then over a span of 20 years or so, I have had the opportunity to then coach other new leaders and now have my own coaching business. And I'm the chief experience officer for my business. Um, really helping, focusing on executives and their teams and experiential coaching.

Bryant Alexander:
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. So, I see why this conversation is centered around coaches. I mean, leaders today and how to actually cultivate, um, I guess, coach like leaders, but also help those new leaders really step into that role of leading a line of business and organization and just themselves as well, because I think that in order to be a true leader, you have to learn how to lead yourself first. So I'm glad to be speaking with you today. I know you have a wealth of knowledge and experience on the topic. So again today we are talking about how to the three considerations for coaching new leaders. Okay. Now, this is a challenge that most organizations have, and there is a common dilemma that these organizations share. And the dilemma is that you promote someone into a leadership role because they were successful in a previous role, which is possibly a IC or individual contributor role, and then realize they are not doing so well. Floundering at times. Right. And this is very common in tech, sales, engineering, science, academic, construction. Okay. All industries across the board. Kristen, can you just share a little bit of your experience in that common dilemma of just those individuals who have maybe moved from a IC role and now in a leadership position or maybe moved from a middle management role to now they're an executive. Like, what are some things that you've experienced and how coaching has helped with that.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
At leadership space? Um, I hear it all the time, whether I'm talking to leaders in oil or the.

Bryant Alexander:
Kristen, you're frozen again. We're going to give it a few more minutes to let Kristen come back. And technology, it happens. Well, while Kristen is getting the signal back on track, um, I can kind of share a little bit on my experience and working with new leaders. Right. So, um. And I just want to talk about myself because it's just that when it comes Kristen is back. Wait a minute. We got actually. Okay.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
So frustrating.

Bryant Alexander:
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. So were you able to hit dilemma?

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yes.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Okay. So I'm not sure what you heard from me. I. What is striking about this dilemma is that it's not industry specific.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
I hear this in healthcare, I hear it with firefighters, I hear it with union leaders, um, with oil leaders. And everyone has this experience of like, ah, uh, how do we. We've hired them because they're amazing at what they do. But the leadership piece is so different in such a challenge. And it's a. It's very, very real and m. It feels frustrating for the leader who is used to feeling like an expert, and now they're in this novice role and it's uncomfortable and, um, they're expected to do well. So I think coaching is particularly powerful in that it helps with that personalized relationship to help bridge that gap one way and then extending trust and leading in a different kind of way. So understanding themselves not as a technician, but as a human who's influencing other people.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay. Okay. Ah, I like that. And I want to speak to it as well, because I think that, uh, I use kind of a framework when I'm working with leaders, or especially with new leaders, and that is, um, culture, compassion and connection. Uh, so those are the three c's that I use in order to help me, uh, bring along new leaders or people that are already working as leaders. Okay? So with this framework, what happens is that compassion, I think that as you move into a leadership role, or what I've observed, as you move into a leadership role, I know Kristen has frozen. She will be back. Um, but, uh, as you move into a leadership role, what happens is that you're dealing more with people, which means that you have to exercise a different type of compassion, okay. Versus being a technician, which is very focused on a skill or a role. And that compassion is just understanding that people have different points of view. So it's all about, how did you come to that common ground? Okay. Like, I was working as an executive coach with a. Start with a nonprofit. Uh, and, um, there was some friction between, um, just two leaders, two executives within the organization. And with that friction came just a, um. With that friction just came a, uh, loss in communication as far as, like, what was the. What were the goals or what was the long term vision of the organization. So what I was able to work on with both of these individuals was understanding what that having compassion with each other, right? And I did this in a one to one setting and was eventually able to bring it together. And then from there, what I was able to do is talk about culture. So, understanding what culture looks like for their teams, right? Or how would they describe the culture for their teams? Because the culture is going to determine what that communication, that compassion, that connection looks like for these, um, different for these, uh, two, for these, uh, individuals to actually get anything done. Hey, Kristen, I know you're back. Um, and then from there, we have connection. So with connection, what happens is that once we're able to understand how we can be more compassionate towards each other as leaders in communication style or our direct reports, then we're able to actually establish a culture around just how do we move forward together. And then from there, we're able to connect and really just, uh, have a shared vision on what the future looks like for us. And Kristen, if you didn't hear me, I was just talking about how, um, I use kind of like the three c, similar to what you described as far as, like, understanding. When you go into a leadership role, you're dealing a lot more with people. It's not even about the work anymore. Like you spoke about the technician and just like being really good at a skill, but it's not about that. The skill is now people, right? How do you deal with people? How do you work with people? And I was just describing the three C's that I use, which is culture, compassion and connection in order to do that. So yeah, that is me on that part. Um, so now that we've been able to speak about that a bit more, what I would like to talk about with you, Kristen, and let me know if you can hear me, please, or what we can just explore next as a group, who's ever on the live is just talk about the common solutions. So companies often default to sending new leaders for more training. Okay. While this is good, what happens is it doesn't quite do the trick and most companies then either deal with it or suffer or lose the employee out of frustration. So training only gets us so far. So when it comes to this second, I guess, uh, commonality, we said we can see, I guess the second area that coaching can address when it comes to the common solution around coaching or training not being the only answer. Um, Kristen, if you could share when you're back as far as what that I ah, guess what, how coaching can complement that, I think that would be helpful. And until you're back, I'll share my experience on just how coaching has helped myself. I um, would say that, um, coming from uh, my background and ah, Kristen, I'm just going to talk about that the common solution, that training is the solve is solving, um, all of our problems and how coaching can support that. Um, I'll talk about my background and just becoming a leader in a new industry. My transition was a little bit more drastic. I started out in the education nonprofit space and um, after a while I realized that wasn't for me, like I loved education, but the way that traditional education is done, um, I'm sure you know Kristen, like it's just very slow motion, it's very, just like by the book. And I wanted to do something different and uh, so I decided to transition into the tech industry. And with the tech industry, what I realized was that there were just a lot of, it was such a different environment because instead of waiting, I had to understand the pace of that environment. So it was one thing to like onboard me, it was one, it was another thing to get training on all this different technology, all of these different tools, all these different systems. But I'm coming from such a different space. In order for me to thrive or become a leader at the organization, just training me or onboarding me to all these different tools wasn't going to be enough. So thankfully, I was on a team full of coaches because I was working as a coach in my first role. So along with that culture shock of just how fast the, um, tech moves, but also just the innovation that's allowed in the role, I had support, ongoing support, because I was on a team full of coaches. So with that training, I, I was also able to work with all these different individuals who have been in the tech industry, but also coaches in supporting me in that process. So it just wasn't my manager, it was a ecosystem that I could go to. Like somebody specialized in a tool. They coached me on the tool, they would say, like, okay, like, what are the problems? How would you like to establish this meeting? What are you looking to do with this tool? It was very self driven as far as, like, this is, I could teach you how to use this, but what are you using it for? What are you trying to better understand? So that was my one on one support in helping me transition from a little bit of a slower pace industry and learning a completely, uh, new, uh, industry and saying that training is not enough. And traditional education training might be seen as like the first option. We need more training. But coming into a new industry that was, that was very fast paced, onboarding wasn't enough, training wasn't enough. But because I had a support system and a team full of coaches that supported me, that I can go to one on one to ask for that support, that helped. I think that actually expedited, like, uh, within a year, I was pretty comfortable within my role as far as what was expected of me, how to use these different tools, these different systems where with just training, it probably would've took me at least two years to really just like two or three years to actually like, get a full grasp as far as what I was doing. So that's how it's showing up for me personally. What about you, Kristen?

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Well, can I add, what I'm noticing about your experience is that the coach has a different role than the manager.

Bryant Alexander:
Mhm.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Right. And so how that works is that the man, the coach, is giving opportunity to hear what's getting in the way of you as a human being and work through some of those things without the attachment of your performance.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
So you have the opportunity to explore what's really getting in the way and work from the inside out to make that difference?

Bryant Alexander:
M. Yeah, I agree with it, because my manager, my manager versus the other coaches, my manager was very just like, I guess, how can we solve this? Like, what support do you need but just function as a manager? She knew that I had additional layers of support when it came to coaching, so that, I guess that self generating, like, she was like, you need to go talk to so and so about this thing, but make sure you show up with, like, clear, this is what you need to be. This is what you need to get from this person, and they'll be better able to guide you, so. Or help you figure out a solution that works best for you. So I think that even in that relationship with my manager, she was coaching me to an extent, but that wasn't her role. And she understood that. She understood that she was more of a coach, like, leader versus a coach. Now, when I went to go talk to my other teammates, they would assume the role as a coach as far as, like, send me an agenda or, like, how would you want to lead this session? Or what are you looking to actually gain from our time together, and why is it important right now? And that really helped me say, like, oh, like, not only just those skills around how to create an agenda and how to use time in the most effective way possible in a meeting, but also just saying, like, okay, like, I'm not wasting anybody's time, but I also know, like, this is how it's gonna help me as I continue to get more comfortable in my role as a coach within this organization.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
So powerful.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah. I feel like in that, as a. As a new leader, just training, which is designed to provide information. Right. Like, if we're really trying to get to behavior change, we have to work through what those behaviors are and where we're wanting to go. So I have a background in education. I have a degree in education and studied experiential learning and gaming and, um, human patient stimulation and different ways to actually coach someone in an education environment to actually shift how we're doing, what we're doing, not just get the information right. Learning is actually shown through our behavior. So I appreciate how coaching can help with that, too, because you gathered information, and now you're actually using it, and the coach is saying, okay, how can you bring what you learned in the classroom? How does that concept apply here? And how do you personally, individually, um, Bryant style, want to use that information and have it show up for you so that can see that in a more objective way, different than the kind of meeting the objectives of what happens in regular training.

Bryant Alexander:
Yes. And I guess a question that came to mind, that somebody that might have a new leader, they might has a new leader within the organization. What if somebody comes to you and say that, well, what if they don't know their own style already? How is this going to help them? What would you say to that?

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Well, they probably don't know their own style. Right. Because they've been learning the things that they do want to do and don't want to do from other leaders that have come before them. And so I think there's a lot of coaching head and heart around what is authentic, what feels good, and what little baby experiment are you willing to try that feels like it's taking a risk to, like, a little bit of an edge, but you know, it's not going to get you fired. Right. Uh, that's immoral or unethical, but what would be, um, an experiment and coaching them through, having that be a safe space to practice getting better as a leader?

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah, it sounds, it sounds like giving grace to them for when they do mess up, knowing that they're going to mess up, but creating that container to say, like, it's okay to make mistakes because I want to see, I want to see you thrive as a leader. So it's like, yeah, just trial, trial and error for the most part, in order to actually develop your leadership style is what I'm hearing.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Sure. And understanding what the culture already says. Right. So I feel like coaching can help the, the client, the new m, the new leader, help lead up and out in the rest of the culture, especially if it's not a culture that fits for them right away.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay. Yeah, I agree.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah.

Bryant Alexander:
Something came up for me because I use that, um, three c's in order to kind of like, have, I guess, uh, trying to make sure that, uh, leaders are able to kind of, uh, cultivate, um, those relationships like that compassion, that culture, that connection. So I guess if you're in an organization that runs to training as a way to just fix everything, how do you establish, I guess, this new culture of, let me, let me coach. Let me, let me figure out how to, I guess, bring coaching into the organization a little bit more effectively without actually calling coat, calling it coaching. Because I think that when people hear coaching, I don't know if it's understood what that actually means or what that looks like, but let's say, like, you know, I have a group, I have a cohort. Uh, I'm just painting a picture. I'm talking. So let's say I have a cohort of new leaders coming, new managers coming in. Okay. And we're at an organization where it's just like, yeah, we're going to put you through this six week training program on how to become a new manager. We started talking about building empathy for your direct reports, how to manage projects, how to manage stakeholders, blah, blah, blah. Right. But training is all this organization runs to. There is no culture around coaching. So how, how would you approach, let's say you are that manager that, you know, I got my own. I gotta have a coaching culture already on my team. So how would you instill that into that new leader that you might be managing? Right. How might you be the one to say that? Hey, right? I know that we run to training, but I'm a coach like leader. So how would you kind of guide that new, um, that new leader in adjusting to what a culture of coaching actually is?

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
If I understand your question, you're asking how am I going to lead my leader?

Bryant Alexander:
Mhm. Yeah.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah. So I think I would use coach like questions to help them to collaborate in how we're making decisions together.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
So if I am asking the leader to consider a shared decision making model or if I'm asking the leader, um, I would probably want to, like, if the leader has said, had a directive, I would ask coach like questions with open ended, in an open ended style to see if I can get the leader to be clear about what the directive is, is and why and how be more inclusive for the whole culture.

Bryant Alexander:
Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Okay, cool. That makes sense. And I just, I'm just curious about that because it's just, I think usually what I've observed with coaching is like people, people are still running to training and if you just have a culture of training, it's like, all right, where's the space? Or how do I, uh, I believe as a leader, I believe in the culture, uh, in the impact that coaching can have on my team, my direct reports. So how do you kind of fight through that as a leader in coaching a new leader? Like how, like, this may be how it's done over here, but I believe in this style because I think it's just not enough information and coaching is a growing industry. So I think sometimes, like, it's like, yeah, we're just gonna lean on these trainings, these self guided things, and you figure it out from there. So that's why I asked that question.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah, I think it's harder to actually get support for coaching. Right. I'm a new leader and I want to coach and I'm in an organization where that's not automatically built into the process, then having those dialogues around what's the value coaching can bring? Um, what would that do for you? What does it do for the organization? Especially if I'm asking for the organization to pay for a coach or to design a coaching program inside the organization, which is doable. Right. And so then you have more of an infrastructure, um, and build that coaching alliance. And if you've got a leader who's not, doesn't have a coach approach, that's really what you need and what you're looking for, then finding other people in the organization who have the style that is modeled and having a mental relationship with them.

Bryant Alexander:
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Thank you for that. Thank you.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
You're welcome.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay, so, um, I have some research, I have some numbers for you because we want to make sure that we are coming from a data driven approach, because I think that, again, there is a lack of information around coaching, um, still, I think second largest growing industry. Um, but I want you to consider this. Okay. So 31 managers underwent a conventional managerial training program. And this kind of gets at that last question as well that I asked you. This program was followed by eight weeks of one to one executive coaching training, which included goal setting. So the training included goal setting, collaborative problem solving, feedback, uh, supervisory involvement, and there were evaluation results at the end of the program. And there was also a training around public presentations. And because of this, productivity increased by 22.4%. So with that, training and coaching increased productivity by 88%. So just the training alone increased productivity by 22.4%, but training and coaching increase productivity by 88%. So to those numbers, I just want to hear your insights or even experience around how you've seen this or how you observe this or just how it's come up in your own practice.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
I'm thinking of the why and, uh, because there's an accountability that's built in the, when you have a coach, right. And so doing the things that you said that you were going to do, as opposed to this training, which was so rich, but sometimes it still gets put on a shelf until you think to use it, but we get busy and forget to apply the things that we've learned. Um, but I feel like with coaching, it adds this creative tension and a reminder to keep it live, to keep you engaged in it. And I see engagement as, um, what's energizing us, what keeps us connected, and what is helping us get results. So those three components when we can stay engaged in concepts, curriculum, our own challenges. Right. We need a bit of a challenge. And so the coach is going to challenge the client to keep it top of mind and keep using the information and keep challenging themselves. It makes sense to me that it would go to 88% because you've got a buddy who's 100% about you being successful in this role. 100%.

Bryant Alexander:
Okay. What came up for me when you were talking through that was, um, it was, ah, accountability. That was the first thing that came up. But like you said, the ongoing support there. So as far as you have an individual that's there, you have an individual that's there supporting you, but you also have that curriculum and then from there you all are able to, I guess, um, you build a relationship of that. This person is there to, you have an individual there to just continuously support you and getting better at those areas that you were trained in. So I've seen this for myself and, uh, working with organizations as far as just meeting with a coach one to two times a month, like in your job, does wonders for your organization because I think that you just know that. All right, I went through this training, but now it's like most of that information is gone probably within the first 48 hours. Right. But I know that at the end of the month or at some point in a month that I have to meet with this coach and we're going to go through these concepts again. We're able to review the curriculum together, but we're also possibly able to practice this or seeing how it's coming up for me in the work and how I can actively apply it. Right. And I think that's the beauty of having that coaching round for six months to a year after that training happens, because there's so much follow up, there's so much, um, I guess more retention of that information and just confidence with the organization overall to know that there is a internal or external party to where I can also voice. Like, here's what I'm nervous about implementing this new framework, but also here are my successes in doing it. Or I've been thinking about doing this, but I'm not sure how to do it. Can we work on that together? So it's like this third party that's there to just be supportive, third party there to just be non biased, non judgmental, but also there to make sure that that leader is like, okay, you're actually doing the thing that we, you're actually doing the thing that this training is meant for. So if anything, the training is able to actually be better or be iterated on and you're able to say, like, here's what worked well and what didn't work well. And this is where coaching comes in because you have that immediate feedback loop of like, I'm seeing leaders have problems with this part of the curriculum or this framework that was presented in the training. So you're also collecting data as an organization to say, like, here's what can be done better based on what these are. Coaches have seen working with our different leaders within the organization. So I just see so much opportunity, like with those things you hit on, like curriculum, but also just that, buddy, that accountability and making sure that these new leaders have the support that they need in order to thrive in the role.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah, you're making me think of, you know, that accountability piece. It's not that coaches, that coach isn't going to hold them accountable. Like, that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the ownership. When you've got a co created equal that you, that are like 100% on board of uh, creating this thing that you're looking for with that tension of, I like to use creative tension. Describe it like a, like a rubber band kind of pulling out right there. The action happens when it stays inspired. And I feel like when you have a buddy who is on your side, who understands and is helping you walk through it in a, like you said, non judgmental way, then there's an enthusiasm to stay engaged in whatever it is they're working on.

Bryant Alexander:
Mm mhm hmm. Mm hmm. Agreed. Agreed. And if it's on a long enough time horizon, the, it works out for the company because the employee then stays because now it's like I'm getting new skills, I'm getting better at this skill that I have. So now I'm able to kind of, I guess I'm able to grow within the organization versus the organization losing this high potential new, uh, leader to, I just can't do it or I don't understand how to do it or I need to go to another organization that's a little bit more comfortable. Um, but yeah, I think there's so much opportunity that comes with just having that person there to say like, hey, can we talk about this thing? I'm having challenges with it or I'm doing really well, but I just want to have a conversation around how I can be better.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
100% getting results.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah, for sure, for sure. So I guess with that and, um, I guess with that, uh, just something that, a curious question that I have for you just around your experience with leaders. Um, how have you, I guess seeing the evolution of leadership as you have like kind of grown your coaching business, work with different leaders. Like, how have you seen the evolution of leadership? Or has it just been the same throughout? Like, it's such, like today's world moves so fast and work is now become a place of, like, we talk about work life balance, integrate health and wellness within the workplace. We talk about these things and I. The role coaching might or might not play in it, but for yourself, how have you seen the conversation just change over time?

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
That's such a rich question. I'm seeing it in all of these different industries. I'm seeing mostly consistency.

Bryant Alexander:
Mhm.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
In terms of like, the ability to influence change. The difficulties are the same, but the nuances are different. We're influencing change and trying to influence trust with people. But maybe now we're doing it when we're all working, um, working anywhere, as opposed to walking across the hallway and having a conversation with the person who's, um, maybe a direct report. And so, uh, the way we make connections and the way we build culture is different. We have to be innovative and creative. But I don't see a difference in the basic problems or the basic challenges. It still boils down to culture connection, um, how we manage our energy. And even, like you talked about work life balance, that's been a conversation for ages, at least in the 25 years or so that I've been doing this. But the way we handle what is non negotiable has changed. But the hunger for taking care of myself hasn't changed.

Bryant Alexander:
I agree 100%. And, um, I've seen, I've observed, because I've observed that when it comes to leadership, kind of like how we started off this, uh, conversation, there's more open dialogue just about you as an individual. That's what I've seen. Like before, again, uh, like I said before, we can lead ourselves. Before we can lead somebody else or organization, we have to learn how to lead ourselves. And I think that what I've not, what I think, what I've observed is that there is this, um, need or want to just be connected with your team, connected with the work that you do and connected with the people that you work with. Like, let's not have these small talk conversations. I want to know what's going on outside of just this workplace. Like, people are yearning for that connection. And I know that you probably, you said that that hasn't changed. It's just more. It sounds like, it's just more of an open dialogue around, like, just what it means, what fulfillment looks like, what purposeful work looks. Looks like, what the healthy work environment looks like, what all of these different things looks like. It seems like that is still something that is consistent from your perspective.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah. And I agree, though, there is more dialogue around it. There's more openness for organizations to make it important. Um, the focus that organizations are having on wellness and offering coaching as an opportunity, benefits, if you focus on therapy, those kinds of things, I think we're more open and maybe more exposed to a lot of different kinds of ideas culturally and, um, even industry between industries. Right. Different kinds of ways of doing things. That is definitely an expansion. And at the core of how we build trust as human beings, those pieces, I believe I haven't seen a change. There are so many books on leadership and so many books on building trust and influencing change and different kinds of models. And at the. At the. If you filter it all down, it really comes down to human interaction and human wellness and getting things done through people if they are well taken care of.

Bryant Alexander:
Agree? Agree. Yes. Yes. And you can read 1212 different leadership books, and it all still come down to, this is how you talk to people, this is how you engage with people. This is how you let somebody, like, grow. This is how you. This is how you cannot be so controlling over your direct reports or micromanage your direct reports. Um, yes, that is so true. Like, it just comes down to just, how do you. How do you have compassion, empathy for someone else? How do you try to understand people? The way you even structure your questions? Like, what? Like, just changing those. What questions? Like, what did you do? What went wrong? Why? Yeah. Ask why then what? Right. So just being able to say, like, well, why did this happen? Why do you think this happened the way that it did? Right. Or why do you think you didn't get the support that you needed from your perspective? Right. Just having a little bit more open curiosity about what a person may be going through or maybe experiencing, because that conversation around work life balance then comes up because you realize that you cannot separate the two today. Right. I think that we tried to compartmentalize from what I seen earlier, just earlier in my career, we tried to compartmentalize the two to where what's work is. Work was personal. Is personal. Um, and I wasn't a big sharer at, uh, work at one point, but it's just like they both influence each other. Right. And I think that's important to know as a leader. As well, because if you see your direct report, productivity is up this month. Like, they're doing great, they are showing up to the meetings, and next month everything is down. It's like, okay, it could be the work, or you could just say that, hey, what's going on? Right, as. Especially as a new leader, because I think that you're just in this whole, like, I have to perform because I'm a new leader. Right. You could just ask them, like, hey, what's going on? Right, right.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Ah, you're getting to the integrative intelligence, right? Like, the integrative model of, um, we are a whole being. We're not one thing. And so everything I, you know, I think that's the beauty of coaching.

Bryant Alexander:
Mhm.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Is that we, if you're. If you're working with new leaders and they're working with coaches, hopefully, um, the best coaches that I've ever worked with are coaches who see the person as an integrative being. And so then it's not so much even about work life balance. It's an integration of all of the parts and pieces that show up at work and show up at home and what's the tensions that are pulling against those things and what's, um, going on. Um, from a professional development perspective, how are we challenged? What's happening in my family, relationships, all of those integrated pieces, spiritually, emotionally, physically, um, health, they all get addressed by the coach, with the client.

Bryant Alexander:
Whoa. Beautiful for you to say that, because what came up for me was, um, I try not to say work life balance. I like to say work life integration. Um, because balance is the act of doing a. All right. Constantly you're still doing. When you're balancing, you are doing, which means that you aren't really integrated. Right. You are working towards something. You're pushing yourself towards something. And, um, I've realized the older that I've gotten that, you know, you don't. You start off in this way. You try to design your life around you. You design yourself for the job that you want, or you have. You feel like you have to design. You have to put everything into this job. Like, your whole life has to be, like, the foundation of this or who I am. My, um, identity is closely tied to the work that I do. But you realize the more experiences that you have, the older you get, you find out, like, oh, like, it's. It's. How do I design my life around my work, right, to where, like, I don't. This is important because it's something that is just a part of us, like, working is just a part of our, uh, everybody's identity. Right. But you realize that oh, so many, so much more important things here. And I think this is also where you all taught us about the purpose. Well. Right. Doing that with your team, having a chance to see, like, how are you feeling about these different parts of your life? And how do you. How are you. How are you going to work on at least two areas to get to be more satisfied in those different areas? I think it's a great way just to kind of, like, set the tone. Like, okay, how do I deal with you as a whole person? How can I help you become more integrated? Right. How can I hold you accountable to things not that don't even have to do with work? Because I know that when you feel satisfied with these things, you'll have no problem showing up here. Right. So, uh, the purpose will came up for me. But just like the word work life balance, just calling it work life integration gives us a chance to just not do, but just be right. How can we be here? How can we be present with what's here versus trying to create or find my balance? Like, it's just you're doing, which can be exhausting in itself, right?

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
100%.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
I love that. I loved your energy when you were talking about that, too. That even just.

Bryant Alexander:
Yeah. The movement that's created, it's a. It's a path. It's a passionate topic that I'm passionate about. So, um, because I've been through it. I've been through the burnout. I've been through the, like, tunnel vision. Like, I got to work towards this number, this salary or this title or this organization, and unnecessarily, like, burnt myself out, sacrificed a lot of relationships unnecessarily. And, um, looking back, it's just like, okay, I don't want to live my life like this.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Yeah. And, uh, you talked briefly about looking at your whole life model, right? Like, what's my life design, and how does work fit into that and in my authenticity. And it can help you with that process, right?

Bryant Alexander:
For sure. For sure. Yes. Yes. I have. I've had a coach, two coaches helped me tremendously. Um, it is something that, um, you know, it's about, like, creating that future version of yourself, the highest version of yourself. And when it comes to leadership, I think that's especially important. Um, but I know that we are coming up on time, so, uh, Kristen, thank you for, uh, working through the technical challenges. Um, you were able to give a lot of great insight and I really do appreciate you sharing your experience.

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen:
Thank you for your time. Thanks for this conversation.

Bryant Alexander:
Of course, of course. So, um, and to the audience out there, thank you for staying with us. We really appreciate you and we hope you enjoyed today's discussion. Now, just as a reminder, if you are an individual, an organizational leader, seeking to bring coaching into what you do, please reach out. You can reach out to me, you can reach out to anybody on the team. But forward all questions to me, please. I want to be a resource for you. I would love to hear from you. And, um, our next class is, uh, getting started. So coaching fundamentals is being held in August. So please reach out to me if you would like to grab a spot. It is a full day of the fundamentals around coaching, and that is happening in August. So if you want to learn about more information, reach out to me. And we also help companies increase business performance, as we just talked about today, and leadership impact so specifically around that leadership impact by developing coaching talents and creating coaching cultures, all of which we talked about today. So to learn more about us, please visit, uh, integrativeintelligence global. And we look forward to seeing you next Tuesday. All right, so bye for now. Hoping that everybody has a great weekend. It.