Examining the Pathwork of Self-Identity through the Lens of Integrative Intelligence

Every human being is born with an inheritance. We inherit a body and an inner landscape. Our inner landscape is comprised of our gifts, values, virtues, purpose, and inner possibilities.
 
To fully understand the gift of our inheritances, I've found it helpful to look through the lens of self-identity and integration.
 
Our self-identity can either anchor us or destroy us. It can empower us or deplete us. It can grow us or wither us.
 
In this article, I'll outline a pathway to self-identity through the lens of Integrative Intelligence®.
 
Consider the inner landscape. Metaphorically speaking, when we are born, our landscape is untarnished, ready to be cultivated, and fertile with growth potential.
 
Then as we grow, we eventually we have our first wounding. This wounding is the first time the ego forms to protect us. The ego's premise becomes, "I'm separate from others. I can be hurt. I will ensure to not get hurt again." The ego incidentally through its protective measures covers our essence.
 
If not brought to self-awareness, this protective layer becomes like weeds on our landscape. For some of us, the weeds even take over, and our truth is hidden beneath.
 
Another way we experience the ego's reaction to wounding is by generating stories in an attempt to expand our protective layers and prevent further pain. One story I carried with me for years was, "I'm missing something everyone else on this planet was born with." This story was an extension of a wound. It kept me from engaging or rocking the boat because it was safer to withdraw. Another story was, "Adults hurt you and are not trustworthy." Another wound extension.
 
While defenses serve us in the moment and sometimes beyond, they can quickly generate stories, easily fracturing off into further limiting beliefs. If left unhealed, this process can leave us feeling a million miles away from our wholeness. The ego's fears and defenses become like weeds covering the landscape of our soul, essence, and wholeness.
 
The egoic process ironically also leaves us with an opportunity to ask, "Who am I without the weeds?" "What do I want to plant on my landscape?" " How can I locate my wholeness and grow into my potential?"
 
It leaves us with the opportunity to discover who we really are and what we are really made of, beyond our fears, stories, and limiting beliefs.
 
This opportunity is an unfolding. We first find ourselves. We then choose who we wish to be. We then cultivate our vision of Self. In this article I'll be covering all three layers of unfolding our self-identity so that we can integrate into our fullest potential.
 
FINDING
 
I have good news. No one is a sum of their fears. No one is a sum of their defense mechanisms. No one is a sum of their limiting beliefs. While these qualities may be explicit in our behaviors and appear to be the "us" that others see and experience, we are made up of so much more. This "more" is what we explore as we seek to find our Self. Our true Self.
 
As we peel back the egoic layers and go beyond the ego's best extrapolations, we enter into the essence of who we truly are. There is a part of our inner landscape, once the weeds are pulled, that is whole and complete. Beneath the weeds, you will find you are a tapestry of truths.
 
We find ourselves by pulling the egoic weeds (the stories that turn into limiting and false beliefs, keeping us reactive and defensive) and connecting to the wholeness that our landscape inherently is. 
 
Once we find our wholeness, it can teach us the full truth about Ourselves: our core values, callings, gifts, strengths, inner virtues, and purpose.
 
The heart of the finding stage is finding our wholeness beneath the weeds. If the wounding and weeds have become bigger than us, we may choose to work with a therapist through this process.
 
CHOOSING
 
Once the weeds are pulled and our landscape is clear, we have a ripe opportunity. What do we want to plant on our landscape? What do we want to grow? Who do we want to be? What do we want to activate?
 
Answering these questions is where we find the freedom of our inner inheritance. We get to choose. We all have our own unique place, purpose, and essence to bring forward in our lifetime. We get to align. We all have inner virtues to tap into as inner possibilities. We get to activate.
 
These are core questions and opportunities that rest at the heart of the choosing stage. In this stage, we can explore choice with the support and process of coaching and spiritual self-reflection.
 
 
CULTIVATING
 
Once we've chosen the inner garden we want to grow, we can begin cultivating our personal growth by attending to our inner landscape.
 
If weeds sprout (and they will) and start choking off our rose bushes, we can pluck them. We can pull the weeds and plant new seeds.
 
There is an adorable book that speaks to the cultivating space. In her book "Jesus in Blue Jeans: A Practical Guide to Everyday Spirituality," Laurie Beth Jones outlines how ducks have to preen their feathers with an oil to stay afloat on water with greater ease.
 
People are no different spiritually, emotionally, and cognitively. To stay in growth and wholeness, we must cultivate a practice that helps us align with our wholeness and our true identity and helps us rise above hardship.
 
The heart of cultivation is maintaining a dedication to self. It is living the unique success formula in life that we first find and then choose.
 
CONCLUSION
 
Within the heart of integration our wholeness is elemental at each unfolding. Our wholeness helps us locate and differentiate a weed from the self. Our wholeness helps us separate the inner truths from the illusions. Our wholeness helps us locate the path to our own unique healing journey.
 
The integration process (finding, choosing, and cultivating) illuminates our life choices in ways that lead us toward our potential, not away from it.
 
 
 
 
 

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