INSTITUTE FOR INTEGRATIVE INTELLIGENCE LLC
  • Home
    • Integrative Intelligence Articles
    • Integrative Intelligence®
    • YOU >
      • Leaders
      • Therapists
      • Thought Leaders
      • Consultants
  • About
    • Mission & History
    • Staff
    • Faculty
  • Organizational
    • Executive Coaching
    • Leader As Coach Training
  • Courses
    • FAQ
    • ADMISSIONS
    • Coaching Fundamentals
    • LEVEL ONE: Foundations
    • LEVEL TWO: Professional Coach
    • Executive Coaching Certification
    • Expand Your Coaching Business >
      • BUSINESS LAUNCH FOR COACHES
    • ICF Exam Prep
    • Testimonials
  • MEDIA
    • Live Q&A
    • E-Quips - Tips for Coaching Excellence
    • Podcast
    • Blog
    • Coaching to Integration Book
    • Shop E-Books
  • Student Log In
  • Contact Us

​
Picture


Join the conversation...​    

​   

Q: Laurel, how do I move beyond tactics to grow in the five transformational coaching competencies?

9/4/2025

0 Comments

 

A: Include these three ingredients in your approach.

Picture
This is a common question from professionals who are responsible for the success of others (leaders, therapists, directors, consultants, health care providers, etc.). 
​
The answer is both simple and profound: 

Transformation requires integration.

Integration of skill development and potential. Let’s unpack what this means!

Last week, we explored how Integrative Coaching moves us beyond tactics and into the realm of lasting transformation. We also explored how there are five elements to transformational coaching.  

To recap: Techniques alone aren’t what create lasting change. We can also coach others not only in solving problems but also in expanding who they are becoming. 

This kind of coaching changes lives, teams, and even organizations for a lifetime.

There are three essential ingredients to integrating this level of transformational coaching skill into your work. These are: education, training, and mentorship.

Together, they form a trifecta for internalizing transformational coaching. Without one, the others lack the depth needed to sustain results. 

This is why the company OCBC sent 52 senior leaders for Level One ICF coaching certification. (HERE)

Let’s dive deeper into the importance of each:
​
  1. Education is the “why” and “what”. Education provides the theory and practice for efficacious coaching. An ICF-accredited education equips professionals with proven frameworks and the standards needed to coach ethically and yield high impact. You also learn the art and science of elevating human potential. 
  2. Training builds the “how.” Training stretches you beyond what you think is possible and provides a safe space to practice until coaching feels more like second nature. 
  3. Mentorship fine-tunes your impact, the "who". Mentoring in coaching skills ensures you don’t just apply techniques, but that you embody them authentically. Mentoring is where coaching shifts from positive impact to elevated positive impact.

All ICF Level 1 and Level 2 programs integrate each of the three key ingredients that lead to transformational coaching. Why? 

If you learn the education without the training, skills can fall flat. If you get training without a foundation in “why” to tap into certain approaches and steer clear of others, the understanding of when/why/how to pivot doesn’t develop properly. Mentoring without education or training can stretch progress out over years of trial and error.

When all three come together, they create a synergistic fast track. They foster not just skill development, but the confidence and excellence with which you lead and support others in owning their potential.

How long does it take to integrate transformational coaching into our work and lives? 

Level One is 3-6 months. It is a variable timeframe because mentoring and certification are self-paced. Training is typically over 12 weeks.

Ever wondered if you could just take a weekend workshop and get the same results? 

In my twenty years of being in the professional coaching space, I’ve never seen transformational coaching come to life in a weekend workshop.

This is because coaching is a counterintuitive approach to the brain (HERE). We are wired to provide answers, locate answers, and we love giving people direction and support. 

Coaching invites us to do the opposite.

Just a few examples of what coaches are proficient at: Instead of guiding and providing, we become masterful at inviting. Instead of listening to respond, we listen to hear what is not said. Instead of knowing, we sit in the unknown until the coachee has grown. We no longer provide wisdom, but instead we use our hard-earned wisdom to draw out the wisdom in others. 

Learning coaching is one of the most intentional pivots you will ever make in your life. It does take time, but just like the results coaching yields, the skills go with you for a lifetime and across all areas of your life. 

We Invite You

If you are a therapist, consultant, physician, or leader who is responsible for the success of others and you are ready to elevate lives by providing sustainable results, our Level One ICF-accredited coach training begins in three weeks. 

On September 24th, we open the doors to a program that has launched hundreds of professionals into meaningful work, elevating lives worldwide.

If you feel called to move beyond surface-level tactics and step fully into the impact you were meant to make with excellence and confidence, we invite you to SUBMIT an Application Today.


Ready to elevate lives?

Completely new to coaching others, ready to learn theory and practice? 

     ✅ Join us for Coaching Fundamentals!

Or, are you a Leader, Consultant, or Holistic Therapist who is responsible for the success of others? 
    ✅ Join us for Coaching Foundations - ICF LEVEL ONE.

Are you ready to take on private clients and build a coaching practice full-time, part-time, or as a future retirement legacy? 
    ✅ Join us to learn advanced coaching in the Certified Professional Coach - ICF LEVEL TWO.

If you’re ready to lead others into elevated potentials, we've created these pathways exactly with you in mind.
​
Have a question? 

Email Angela Bylo, Admissions Coach: [email protected]

Or, click below to schedule a Discovery Call with Angela. During a Discovery Call, Angela will review program options to consider, discuss financial aid, and support you in your decision-making process. ​
Schedule a Discovery Call

SUBSCRIBE BELOW

To Get More Messages Like This

We respect your email privacy

0 Comments

Q: Laurel, how do I move beyond tactics and invite long term transformations?

9/3/2025

0 Comments

 

A: Continue to implement the tactics and then develop these five skillsets.

Tactics are great! They offer us immediate help in the moment. A tactic is a formula or approach that we can implement to place us in greater alignment with the results we seek to produce.
 
According to Oxford Languages, the definition of tactic is: “An action or strategy carefully planned to achieve a specific end.”

To invite the big transformations, it is time we move beyond tactics. 

In Integrative Coaching, our ultimate goal as the coach is to foster "sustainable success" in our client’s life and work. 
 
Sustainable, meaning that the results our clients, teams, or employees experience stand the test of time. Results are maintainable and lasting. 
 
Have you ever experienced the success rollercoaster? You have a win and then a loss and then a win, and then a loss. This is frustrating. When we rely on tactics alone, we often find ourselves repeating the same challenges again and again. Tactics help us get back to the wins, but they don’t help us get off the rollercoaster.

True transformation comes from competency in five skills: 
  • Listening for what is not being said 
  • Asking more powerful questions
  • Respecting timing 
  • Identifying avenues for growth 
  • Inviting self-generation

Those three competencies invite the big transformations! 
 
Over time, with the application of consistent coaching, transformations progress from hit-and-miss to sustainable and lasting results. 
 
Case Study:  Tactics vs. Transformation
 
A leader of a Fortune 500 company was being reported for having an abrasive communication style that led to complaints and high-turnover.
 
Applying Tactics: Teaching the leader a better communication formula to follow enabled the leader to communicate in positive ways. The issue? The moment stress hit, the habit returned, and the leader was back to square one.
 
What does Integrative Coaching teach us? When under stress, we naturally disintegrate. Our reactivity heightens. It often isn’t pretty, and the impact can leave long-term scars.
 
Applying Integrative Coaching: This leader was coached on the deeper beliefs and habits. The leader not only was able to shift their way of being with others, but they also grew different stress responses that were positive. This leader also developed a new leadership philosophy that was rich and rewarding. The transformation not only stuck, but also changed the entire company culture and greatly reduced turnover.
 
Employees went from avoiding working with this leader at all costs to feeling relieved and excited to work with this leader. 

Sustainable success does not happen overnight. It emerges when multiple transformations integrate together, becoming the new norm. Growth takes time because whenever we are invited to stretch in new ways, resistance and obstacles naturally surface.

One of the most inspiring aspects of transformational coaching is that while the coaching itself is temporary (occurring over weeks or months), the results last a lifetime. Like learning to ride a bike, once the skill of transformation is learned, it cannot be unlearned.

Consistent coaching over 3–6 months provides enough space for new perspectives and behaviors to take root, so they can bear fruit for years to come.

In essence, Integrative Coaching doesn’t just spark one change. It cultivates ongoing, sustainable success so that transformation endures.

What is up next?

We will explore how to gain the transformational coaching skills that take you beyond tactics. Stay tuned!!

Ready to elevate lives?

Completely new to coaching others, ready to learn theory and practice? 

✅ Join us for Coaching Fundamentals!

Or, are you a Leader, Consultant, or Holistic Therapist who is responsible for the success of others? 
✅ Join us for Coaching Foundations - ICF LEVEL ONE.

Are you ready to take on private clients and build a coaching practice full-time, part-time, or as a future retirement legacy? 
✅ Join us to learn advanced coaching in the Certified Professional Coach - ICF LEVEL TWO.

If you’re ready to lead others into elevated potentials, we've created these pathways exactly with you in mind.
​
Have a question? 

Email Angela Bylo, Admissions Coach: [email protected]

Or, click below to schedule a Discovery Call with Angela. During a Discovery Call, Angela will review program options to consider, discuss financial aid, and support you in your decision-making process.
Schedule a Discovery Call
0 Comments

Q: Laurel, how can I be a better (your role here)?

8/22/2025

0 Comments

 
A: Listen to Dawn's message of wisdom! Then, self-coach into a new possibility. 
Being too busy is one of the ways our time, energy, talent, and money (yes, financial impact on our health and wellbeing) become compromised.

One day, I woke up and said… “not like this.”

That was the first step I took away from burnout, away from over-caring (caring is good, over-caring turns caring into a power leak), away from over-doing and into inner equilibrium. 

What does inner equilibrium provide? 

A new stride, an inner pride, and a fresh perspective when you least expect it.

How can you be better at juggling your multiple roles? Take Dawn Christian’s wisdom to heart. It is not by striving harder, but by intentioning smarter. 

Thank you, Coach Dawn, for shining fresh new morning sunlight on this possibility! 

Self Coaching Prompts:
  1. What are all the ways my equilibrium elevates my potential? 
  2. Where am I giving my power away from over-committing, over-doing and being too busy?
  3. What do each of my commitments symbolize to me?
  4. Are there unhealthy attachments it is time to let go of? 
  5. What do I need to say NO to, in order to say YES to something greater? 
0 Comments

Q: Laurel, how Do I Coach When I Feel Like I Don’t Have Time?

8/22/2025

0 Comments

 
A: Focus on the “micro-moments.”

If you’ve ever thought, “I’d love to coach more, but I just don’t have the time,” you’re not alone.

This is one of the most common concerns leaders, team leads, and service professionals face when trying to integrate coaching into their day-to-day responsibilities.


The pressure is real. Emails, deadlines, client demands, and teams pull us in a hundred different directions.

Coaching can too easily feel like one more thing "I should be doing," and when you have an already overloaded plate, this can feel overwhelming.

But here’s the truth:

​Coaching doesn’t have to add more to your plate.
It has the power to transform and simplify
the way you approach the responsibilities you already have.
Coaching is less about time and more about how you use the time you already have.

Instead of repeatedly solving problems for others (which drains energy and creates dependency), coaching develops independent thinkers who can solve challenges themselves.

The payoff? You spend less time in firefighting mode and more time focused on the work that matters most.


So, how do you actually do this?

One way is to learn how to coach. 

​Learning coaching is hands down the best short-term investment (3-4 months) with lifelong gains.

However, that doesn't help you now!

For a quick and simple solution, practice this:
To elevate potential
elevate the
 micro-moments.
You don’t need an hour-long session to empower someone.

As a matter of fact, A Course in Miracles teaches us that we are always only one perspective shift away from a transformation.

Just one powerful and well-positioned question can completely shape a new trajectory in someone's thinking.


In fact, some of the most powerful coaching happens in just two or three minutes. These brief inquiries, done in the flow of life, compound over time.

Instead of defaulting to answers, ask one catalytic question and then.... pause.

For example: 
“Who do you need to become to invite success?” 

- OR - 

“What part of you is confident?”
These short, well-positioned questions build self-trust, encourage ownership, and over time, significantly reduce the oversight others need from you.

By learning to spot and seize micro-moments, you can coach in the margins of your daily life - from parenting to partnering to leading. Coaching goes with you everywhere you go!

It doesn’t take more time, it just takes a different lens. 
I invite you to really practice this.

What I've seen in my 20 years as a coach:

Teams coached in micro-moments become more self-reliant, more engaged, and more resilient. Top contributors become self-propelled, engaged, and purpose-driven. Coaching/counseling clients take their lives to an entirely new level. Leaders free themselves from the constant cycle of solving and directing. Parents and partners connect in more integrated ways. 
Coaching goes where you go! 

​
There you have it! You don’t have to overhaul your schedule to coach others...
The miracle is in the moment.

Ready to elevate lives?

Completely new to coaching others, ready to learn theory and practice? 

     ✅ Join us for Coaching Fundamentals!

Or, are you a Leader, Consultant, or Holistic Therapist who is responsible for the success of others? 
    ✅ Join us for Coaching Foundations - ICF LEVEL ONE.

Are you ready to take on private clients and build a coaching practice full-time, part-time, or as a future retirement legacy? 
    ✅ Join us to learn advanced coaching in the Certified Professional Coach - ICF LEVEL TWO.

If you’re ready to lead others into elevated potentials, we've created these pathways exactly with you in mind.
​
Have a question? 

Email Angela Bylo, Admissions Coach: [email protected]

Or, click below to schedule a Discovery Call with Angela. During a Discovery Call, Angela will review program options to consider, discuss financial aid, and support you in your decision-making process. 
Schedule a Discovery Call
0 Comments

How do I get out of the telling/directing and micro-managing habit and foster a coaching habit?

8/14/2025

0 Comments

 
Telling, directing, and micromanaging have one thing in common. We step into these approaches anytime we care so deeply for the outcome and someone else’s success that we unconsciously end up over-caring. 

We have good intentions. We want to ensure quality, prevent mistakes, and help people succeed. However, over time, excessive involvement in oversight can hinder success. 

Furthermore, being constantly on-call is draining. 

Do others rely on your advice for every step, constantly asking for feedback before moving forward?  Or, on the inverse, they try to do it all and don’t ask for any feedback, so you feel strongly you need to step in before it all falls apart? 

The irony is that even when you give exact instructions for success, it isn’t always followed. Ever had this thought, “I gave them exact directions to follow. Why on earth are we here again?” 

Eventually, frustration builds, patience wears thin, and you step in to do it yourself. Or, you end up working really long hours and believe this is just the way it is. 

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. These are very common experiences. 

Fortunately, success is math!

​There are formulas you can apply to begin experiencing actual lunch breaks and more freedom and flexibility.

Here are five steps to take, which include some of the key formulas designed to grant you more freedom and more successful moments. 

Step One: Locate Leadership Leaks

The first step to breaking the telling, advising or micro-managing habit is to locate your power-leak moments.

Every time you answer a question that the other person could have solved, or step in to redo work they could fix, or make a decision they should own, you’re unintentionally training dependency. 

Awareness is key. Once you can see where the leaks are happening, you can start replacing directing with coaching them to their own answers. 

This is called: “Don’t do for others what they can do for themselves”. This is empowering to them. Yet, it can feel very uncomfortable for you at first. Discomfort is perfectly normal and expected. After all, you are the one who is responsible for the results.

To move beyond the discomfort, let’s explore the other steps.

Step Two: Engage Empowerment Coaching

Honing your coaching skills is the fastest way to gain more freedom from being overly depended upon (dependence is a key symptom of a directing habit). 

Instead of answering the question, “What should I do?” with directions, try, “What do you think your next step should be?” or “If I weren’t here, how would you handle this?” 

With a coaching approach, you are directly inviting the answers to come from within the person you are coaching. Coaching offers a massive leverage point in how you can lead others!

At first, you may get a fearful stare or a vague answer. That’s normal. Most people are not accustomed to being coached. 

It is also normal to want to give in. These moments offer a turning point. With coaching formulas in your toolkit, instead of directing, you become a facilitator for successful outcomes.

Over time, these questions force people to think for themselves, which is the muscle you want them to build. 

This isn’t about withholding help. Coaching is about helping them grow into problem-solvers rather than answer-seekers.

Coaching is your freedom point and theirs!

Step Three: Express Your Encouragement

Third, express your confidence in them. Many people begin to believe in themselves when someone else believes in them first. 

Sharing your confidence and encouragement can go a long way in inviting them to take ownership. 
For example: “I trust you have the answers.” “I believe you have what it takes to create success with this project.” Then coach them to their own solutions. 

Sharing confidence is a critical step in the formula for effectively coaching others.  

Coaching shifts the focus from you having all the answers to them creating new solutions. First, they need to know you believe in them. 

Step Four: Invite Solutions

There are two parts to this step.

First, it can help to establish feedback rhythms instead of constant check-ins. If your team is used to popping in for input at every step, set boundaries by creating predictable touchpoints. For example, agree on a mid-project review or a weekly progress update. 

This keeps the communication flowing but prevents your time from being consumed by endless interruptions. 

It also helps you avoid the frustration that builds when you feel pulled in a dozen directions at once.
Second, it is imperative to invite them to foster their own solutions. A simple “Three P Report” is an excellent formula to accomplish this. 

A Three P Report includes short bullet points of:
  • Progress Made With (time parameters - ex: this week, this month, this quarter)
  • Puzzles to Solve (active gaps to close)
  • Plans for a Solution (ideas/plans to close the gaps)

This process is coaching at heart! It invites problem-solving and solution thinking before it lands on your plate. 

Step Five: Celebrate Wins

Finally, celebrate progress and independence. Coaching others to empowerment is not just about stepping back; it’s also about noticing and celebrating wins to reinforce the new autonomy. 

When someone takes initiative, makes a solid decision, or solves a problem without you, it is key to acknowledge it. 

Positive acknowledgment acts like an accelerant that turns small wins into lasting change. 

By taking a coaching approach, your role shifts from “chief problem-solver” to “chief potential-developer,” and that’s where the magic happens!

In Conclusion:

Having coaching formulas and implementing these steps helps those around you grow stronger, helps your stress drop, and those you are responsible for start gaining productivity and momentum in fun new ways.

Happy engaging, coaching, and inviting elevated results!

We can't wait to see you in class! 

We respect your email privacy

Join us! August 27th, 2025!!

If you are ready to dive in with us and learn the exact skills to pivot from rapid change and burnout to greater ease and renewed passion for what you do, I invite you to join us on August 27th!

August is the last time we will offer Time to Coach this year, and the last time it will be offered in our Pay It Forward, tuition-covered campaign. 
​

Click here to grab your spot and bring a colleague (forward the link so we can get them registered as well!
0 Comments

When is it appropriate to coach, versus telling or mentoring?

8/12/2025

0 Comments

 
One of the biggest challenges for leaders and service professionals is knowing which hat to wear in the moment: coach, mentor, or director/advisor. 

Each role serves a purpose, but using the wrong one at the wrong time can cause frustration, reduce trust, and slow progress. 

Coaching is best when you want to develop someone’s ability to think for themselves, problem-solve, and take ownership. This is called being “self-propelled.” Another term for it is being "empowered."

Let's unpack the differences.


Directing, or advising, may be necessary when there’s no time for exploration in emergencies or high-risk scenarios. (Therapist, consultants, and leaders all step in and direct when stakes are high.)

Mentoring fits when someone needs guidance based on your past experience. Mentoring is designed to shorten their learning curve. (Therapist, consultants, and leaders all step in to mentor.)

However, there comes a time when mentoring someone, or telling them what direction to go in, keeps someone from developing their own skills and approaches. It also keeps them hooked on you for the solutions. (This is where coaching kicks in.)

The key to making the right choice is to assess:
  1. Urgency
  2. Knowledge 
  3. Readiness

If the person has the skills but needs clarity or confidence to be ready to engage more productively, coaching will help them step into self-leadership. 

If they lack the skills entirely, mentoring or direct instruction may be more appropriate. 

And if the situation is urgent (say a safety issue or a legal matter), then telling them exactly what to do is not only appropriate, it’s responsible. 

Over time, coaching can turn into a powerful default setting because it builds competence and independence! However, you’ll want to switch hats intentionally as needed.

Another practical way to decide in the moment is to ask yourself: “Does this person need development, direction, or information?” 

If it’s development, lean into coaching. 

If it’s direction, be clear, concise, and direct. 

If it’s information, you can share your own story or insight, as a mentor would, and then return the conversation to coaching them: “How could you apply this in your situation?” This keeps the exchange collaborative instead of top-down.
The magic happens when you 
build a reputation for knowing
when to step back and
when to step in
.

Your colleagues or clients learn they can count on you not to over-direct when they’re capable, and to guide them decisively when it’s truly needed. 

This balance builds trust, fosters loyalty, and empowers others to step up. It also frees you from the exhausting cycle of micromanagement, giving you more time and energy for strategic work.

In the long run, incorporating coaching into your toolkit fosters new levels of empowerment, enabling people to feel capable and valued in new ways. 

For you as a leader, consultant, or therapist, coaching can reignite the passion that drew you to your role in the first place. 
​

When you see people grow, thrive, and reach new potentials on their own, you get to realize that being in a service role is both a leverage point and a privilege.

We can't wait to see you in class! 

We respect your email privacy

Join us! August 27th, 2025!!

If you are ready to dive in with us and learn the exact skills to pivot from rapid change and burnout to greater ease and renewed passion for what you do, I invite you to join us on August 27th!

August is the last time we will offer Time to Coach this year, and the last time it will be offered in our Pay It Forward, tuition-covered campaign. 
​

Click here to grab your spot and bring a colleague (forward the link so we can get them registered as well!
0 Comments

How do I coach when it matters most?

8/9/2025

0 Comments

 
In today’s climate of political division, economic uncertainty, and rapid organizational shifts, professionals in service roles face a unique kind of pressure. 
 
Leaders, therapists, consultants, and coaches are not only helping others navigate change but are also experiencing that same volatility themselves. 
 
The stakes are high, the pace is fast, and the emotional weight of the work is heavier than ever. When the pressure is on, the way you communicate, respond, and guide others can either fuel resilience and clarity or contribute to burnout and confusion (theirs and yours). 
This is where knowing
​how to coach when it matters most
becomes a defining skill.
Coaching in high-stakes moments is different from everyday problem-solving. It’s about creating enough space for people to think, process, and generate solutions when urgency threatens to narrow their perspective. 
 
Under stress, our instinct is often to take control, direct, instruct, or solve the problem ourselves. Coaching, instead, invites ownership and accountability, which leads to sustainable change. This fosters greater ease, flow, and self-propelled teams.
 
In challenging times, the most valuable thing you can give someone is not your answer, but the confidence and clarity to find their own. 
 
Step One: Ground
 
The first step in coaching, when it matters most, is staying grounded yourself. You cannot guide others through chaos if you are swept up in it. This means noticing your own stress responses, whether that’s becoming overly directive, withdrawing, or multitasking through conversations. and choosing to slow down. 
 
Even in urgent situations, a few deep breaths and a moment of mental pause can reset your ability to listen deeply. 
 
That presence signals to others that they can trust you to hold space for them, no matter how turbulent things feel.
 
Step Two: Optimize 
 
Second, ask questions that dive directly into the heart of the matter. 
 
In the coaching world, we call this “forming powerful questions”. 
 
In high-pressure situations, surface problems can distract from the real issue. 
 
Instead of “What happened?” or “Why did this go wrong?”, try questions like, “What is most important right now?” or “If you could solve one part of this, which would make the biggest difference?” 
 
These types of questions help the other person prioritize and focus, which is critical when energy and resources are limited. 
 
The goal is not to lead them to your answer, but to help them see the situation clearly and identify the leverage points for action that will work best for them. This fosters meaning and intrinsic engagement, even under stress.
 
Step Three: Collaborate 
 
Lastly, taking a coaching approach invites us to lean into partnering instead. We want to eliminate any conversational hierarchy. 
 
When people feel they’re being “managed” or “talked down to,” they tend to either shut down and resist or rely too heavily on you to make the next move. 
 
Coaching in moments that matter means positioning yourself as a collaborator in problem-solving, not just an overseer. 
​

A simple shift in language—from “Here’s what you need to do” to “What options are you considering, and how can I support you?” fosters trust and autonomy. 
 
Over time, this creates a culture where people are more self-propelled, and you’re free to focus on strategic, not just tactical, demands.
 
Finally, remember that coaching in critical moments is not about perfection. Coaching is about consistently showing up with curiosity, presence, and belief in others. 
 
Even small shifts in how you approach a conversation can have an outsized impact on someone’s confidence and performance. 
 
In a world where uncertainty is the only constant, those who can coach effectively under pressure become not just leaders or practitioners, they become stabilizing forces for entire teams, organizations, and communities. 

Coaching when it matters most 
is more than a “nice to have” skillset.
It’s a true lifeline.


Join us! August 24th, 2025!!

If you are ready to dive in with us and learn the exact skills to pivot from rapid change and burnout to greater ease and renewed passion for what you do, I invite you to join us on August 27th!

August is the last time we will offer Time to Coach this year, and the last time it will be offered in our Pay It Forward, tuition-covered campaign. 
​

Click here to grab your spot and bring a colleague (forward the link so we can get them registered as well!
Picture
0 Comments

Coffee, Coaching & Callings - Your Calling As a Path to Integration

7/18/2025

0 Comments

 
This week on Coffee, Coaching, and Calling, Laurel Elders had the pleasure of sitting down with two incredible sisters, Paula Francis and Christine Noyes, who truly embody what it means to answer your life's calling. Paula, the insightful author of 18 Pairs of Shoes and co-founder of Gross National Happiness USA, and Christine, an amazing author and illustrator who shared how her professions seemingly chose her, gave us such a rich conversation about courage, fear, and living in alignment with our deepest values.

The Courage to Say "Yes"

Both Paula and Christine admitted they never quite saw themselves where they are today. Life, as they so eloquently put it, has a way of throwing circumstances at you, presenting these pivotal moments where you get to choose your direction. And it's not always about grand, dramatic shifts; sometimes, it's those subtle nudges that truly matter. The big takeaway here for all of us, they emphasized, is to recognize every single moment as an opportunity to choose happiness, follow our passions, and open our hearts.

Releasing Fear: Your Path to Freedom

We then dove into the powerful emotion of fear. Laurel shared her thought about fear being our responsibility, and how confronting it unlocks our power. Paula’s experience from her 10,000-mile walk across the country, much of it solo, really brought this home. People she met constantly asked if she wasn't afraid, a reflection, she realized, of their own fear-driven lives. Paula discovered that so much of the fear we carry is "made up in our minds – the 'what-ifs' that put hurdles in our way."

Releasing that fear, Paula explained, is incredibly liberating. It creates space for wonderful new things to enter our lives. Christine agreed, highlighting how fear can actually block our intuition. When we let go of fear, our intuition can then guide us to the next right step, the right person, or the next amazing opportunity. Paula's encounters on her walk often proved that the "next place" people feared was welcoming and kind, simply because she didn't carry negative expectations. As she wisely put it, "most people are genuinely kind and generous and thoughtful and loving."

Resilience: Finding Strength in the Unknown

Christine shared her deeply personal story of sudden, drastic change when her husband tragically passed away on an airplane. Her life instantly shifted, bringing immense fear and anxiety. But she emphasized the incredible importance of resilience, asking, "What do you do now? What do you do with that anxiety?" While there's no universal answer, the ability to bounce back, she believes, is something innate within us all.

Paula added another layer to this with a truly powerful story about Lieutenant Colonel Holland Chapman, a Vietnam War prisoner of war for over seven years. Despite enduring unimaginable circumstances, his core message was simply: "Be kind." He found meaning even in a doorknob, symbolizing freedom. This incredible account is such a testament to the depth of human resilience and the profound power of forgiveness, even in the most challenging situations.

Aligning Life with Values: Gross National Happiness

Paula's cross-country walk wasn't just a personal journey; it was a fascinating research project. She firmly believes we should measure success and progress not just through economic indicators like gross domestic product, but by what we truly value. Her work with Gross National Happiness USA seeks to understand if the values driving GNH indexes in other countries resonate here in the United States. She found a surprising amount of alignment, but what really struck her was how often our personal lives fall out of sync with our own declared values. We get so easily distracted by fear, our busy schedules, and the false belief that we have all the time in the world.

Professions That Choose You: Christine's Unfolding Journey

Christine shared how her professions genuinely seemed to find her. Her first calling as a chef naturally evolved from working at her grandfather's restaurant. Later, a job offer in food sales literally pulled her out of the kitchen. Eventually, she and her husband bravely ventured into opening their own business.
However, her most profound calling was becoming an author. This journey was profoundly sparked by the death of her husband. Weeks after he passed, words began to circle in her mind, forming a poem she wrote on her phone in the middle of the night. This poem, "Distance," became the unexpected catalyst. Encouraged by her sister-in-law, she began writing children's books based on her husband's charming pet peeves and his loving nature, primarily so her great-nieces and nephews would remember him. What started as a heartfelt tribute blossomed into her true calling.

This conversation was such a powerful reminder that embracing your calling, confronting your fears, and aligning your actions with your values can lead to such a rich and fulfilling life. It's a continuous journey of learning and growth, showing us that resilience is deeply ingrained within us, and that by letting go of fear, we truly open ourselves up to a world of endless possibilities.
​
What's one small step you can take today to align your actions with something you truly value?

Interested in helping people find their calling?
​Join us to earn one of the best coaching educations offered across the globe!


Coaching Fundamentals (Level One)

Develop core coaching skills in a live, supportive, ICF-accredited environment.
​

Certified Professional Integrative Coach (Level Two)
Lead transformational change with a full professional certification and PCC pathway.
0 Comments

Don’t Box Me In

7/16/2025

1 Comment

 

By: Laurel Elders

"The good thing about a skeptic is that they consider all possibilities." - Thomas Mann

As I sat before my mentor, Sandy, as she looked at me inquisitively.

"I'm a Type Five." I reported with frustration in my tone.  

She could sense my tension and waited patiently for more. 

"I just don't think people can be boxed into stereotypes. People have free will, and everyone on this planet is 100% unique. I believe typing people limits them and could even be used to cast false judgment." There I said it. I was against personality typing.

"Ah." She nodded. "It's not that your concerns don't have truth to them. At what point does any asset become a liability?" she asked me.  

That was an interesting question. True to my Type 5 "Investigator" and truth-seeking nature, I went home to investigate my skepticism.

That was over a decade ago. Looking back, what fascinates me most is a bigger truth about personality typing. However, this truth did not find me through any logical or neatly packaged conception that would have been my preference.  

I sat meditating one morning a few weeks after fervently rejecting being typed. That morning a bigger, more meaningful truth came to me.

"It is not the person that is predictable, but the ego is."

This actually made a lot of sense to me. Studying psychology, I learned how the ego is developed as a defense mechanism response to keep up physically and emotionally safe. 

These defenses become patterned responses. We call these our defense mechanisms or conditioned ways of being. Not to be confused with the hard wiring we are born with, which is captured in personality assessments like MBTI, DISC, and Strengths assessments.  

While our hardware is captured through some assessments, the Enneagram captures our software. Software is a program that runs. We have egoic programs (aka defenses and conditioning) that run in the background. 

However, unlike a computer that is unconscious, we can gain consciousness of our conditioned responses and evolve out of egoic ways of being.  

Part of the contribution the Enneagram gifts us with is a path of integration out of ego and into the essence of who we are without our defenses and conditioned ways of being. 

We can view any personality assessment as a pathway to understanding:
  1. our hardwiring (how we are born) or
  2. our ego responses (defenses we develop). 
These can be shortcuts to our self-understanding when used as an asset to personal growth. However, they can also be used negatively to judge ourselves or others. That is the tipping point into the liability or pitfalls of personality assessment. 

They can also become a liability if we believe they are the truth of who we are. While they can illuminate aspects of ourselves, our true potential at the end of the day is defined by us, not any tool for self-reflection.

The Course in Miracles teaches us we do not have to learn through pain alone. We can equally learn through love (think positive affirmation versus negative). I now celebrate the opportunity to learn through positive pathways and self-awareness to evolve out of ego and into a new possibility of my choice.  

In this regard, the truth really does set us free. When we are no longer bound and constricted by our past conditioning, we access new possibilities that exist within us.
Coaching Fundamentals (Level One)
Develop core coaching skills in a live, supportive, ICF-accredited environment.
​

Certified Professional Integrative Coach (Level Two)
Lead transformational change with a full professional certification and PCC pathway.
1 Comment

"Empowerment Redefined: From Ego-Driven to Soul-Driven Leadership"

7/11/2025

0 Comments

 

 By Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC

​Have you ever worked for a leader who bulldozed over people and did whatever they wanted without regard to how they impacted others?
 
Or, on the other end, have you experienced a leader who tried to please everyone, side with everyone and as a result things fell apart?
 
Both are examples of how leadership and our personal power can get out of balance.
 
What does Integrative Intelligence have to teach us about balanced leadership measures and personal power?
 
A few fascinating things. Let’s dive in!
 
The cost of being out of balance from being ego-driven is that relationships formed become hollow or conditional, a healthy inner relationship is neglected or spiritually bankrupt, and success is never enough. Any newly attained goal spirals into the next goal… the ego is never fulfilled and is incapable of fulfillment.
 
Yet, those who have become anti-ego often struggle with external boundaries. An identity is built around being the opposite of ego-driven. Energy can also be drained fighting against the reality of existing in a mostly ego-driven corporate culture. Operating as anti-ego can be just as big of a power drain as its ego-driven counterpart. The tricky part? Being anti-ego is another way the ego shows up.
 
Regardless, both imbalances zap power, stress us out and can leave us physically mentally, emotionally and/or spiritually exhausted.
 
Philosophically then, what does balance look like? Is there a balanced version to our personal power? A version that gives energy instead of draining it, a version that gets us to our desired destinations and feels fulfilling?
 
Integrative Intelligence teaches us to include all aspects of the whole. Notice the phrase “include all aspects”. Notice the phrase does say “include all non-aspects”. When we include non-aspects, this is what drains us the most.  
 
To better understand a non-aspect of self, or self-deception, let’s take a look through the simple lens of truth. 
Picture

True Self

- I operate through my wholeness - 

I respond through:
  • My vision.
  • My Highest-Self.
  • My values and value.
  • My strengths and gifts.
  • My life’s chosen narrative.
  • My competencies.
  • My discernment.
  • My potentials.
  • My virtues.
  • My worth.​

False Self

- I operate through ego push/pull -

​I react through:
  • My fears.
  • My triggers.
  • My inner stories.
  • My defense mechanisms.
  • My egoic tendencies.
  • My limiting beliefs.
  • My judgements.
  • ​My reactivity.
Notice the list of who and what we are- potentials and all- is longer. Yet, we often can default to spending more time in the false.
 
How can we live powered by our wholeness, our truth and our authentic value?  How can we lead without power leaks, inwardly equipped and self-empowered?
 
Through integration.
 
Through integration, we begin to weave the truthful elements in and release the false. We learn how to expand by:
  • Engaging my vision.
  • Inviting my Highest-Self to take reins.
  • Honoring my values and value.
  • Including my strengths and gifts.
  • Growing in my competence and self-trust.
  • Recognizing my potentials.
  • Listening to the wisdom of my discernment.
  • Stepping out of judgement.
  • Choosing my inner narrative.
  • Discerning my ego as an aspect, not a fact.
  • Embracing my inner virtues.
  • Investing in my self-worth.
 
How can we begin to integrate these higher aspects? There are a few approaches to consider. The options include: spiritual development, self-discovery, self-awareness, self-coaching, stepping into therapy or hiring a coach. There are many paths to the top of the same mountain. Just ensure you are on a path that won’t take you in circles and that does indeed lead to the apex of YOU.
 
There we have it. Gaining our personal power is living and leading through the wholeness within. This process includes identifying and releasing any self-deception that has formed like a plaque over our potentials over the years. As we integrate, we expand our Integrative Intelligence. The wisdoms embedded within the concepts of Integrative Intelligence are the birthplace for elevating our fullest potentials.

​………………
 
Feel called to help clients, leaders and/or teams elevate their potential using tried and true methodology in self-actualization? You are invited to start your certification journey with us!
We are accepting applications now. 
0 Comments
<<Previous
Forward>>

    Archives

    January 2026
    December 2025
    November 2025
    September 2025
    August 2025
    July 2025
    June 2025
    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    September 2022
    July 2022

    RSS Feed

The Institute for Integrative Intelligence®
Copyright © 2012-2025  |  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

ACCREDITATIONS:
Picture
Picture
Picture

AFFILIATIONS: 
Picture
Picture
Picture

PARTNERS:
Picture
Picture
Picture
  • Home
    • Integrative Intelligence Articles
    • Integrative Intelligence®
    • YOU >
      • Leaders
      • Therapists
      • Thought Leaders
      • Consultants
  • About
    • Mission & History
    • Staff
    • Faculty
  • Organizational
    • Executive Coaching
    • Leader As Coach Training
  • Courses
    • FAQ
    • ADMISSIONS
    • Coaching Fundamentals
    • LEVEL ONE: Foundations
    • LEVEL TWO: Professional Coach
    • Executive Coaching Certification
    • Expand Your Coaching Business >
      • BUSINESS LAUNCH FOR COACHES
    • ICF Exam Prep
    • Testimonials
  • MEDIA
    • Live Q&A
    • E-Quips - Tips for Coaching Excellence
    • Podcast
    • Blog
    • Coaching to Integration Book
    • Shop E-Books
  • Student Log In
  • Contact Us