Becoming a professional coach can be a deeply rewarding, inspiring, and spiritually fulfilling career choice for those passionate about leaving a positive imprint in people's lives. I've compiled below the top twelve benefits of becoming a professional coach so that you can see if becoming a professional coach is a career option that is best aligned with you. 1. Elevating Lives: One of the most significant rewards of being a professional coach is the opportunity to elevate people's lives with your work. You will help clients overcome obstacles, set and achieve their goals, and lead more fulfilling lives. 2. Personal Growth: As you help others overcome challenges, you also experience personal growth and self-discovery. Some people take coach training to expand skills that radiate into their personal and professional lives. Being a life coach also leads to a much deeper understanding of human behavior and humanistic psychology. 3. Flexible Schedule: Coaches have the flexibility to set their own schedules. This can be particularly appealing for those who want to balance work with personal or family commitments. 4. Variety of Specializations: Coaching is a broad field, and you can specialize in various areas such as career coaching, relationship coaching, health and wellness coaching, or executive coaching. Coaching skills can also be applied to a variety of situations and settings, adding value and depth to what you offer. 5. High Demand: Many people seek the support of professional coaches to help them navigate life transitions, overcome challenges, and reach their goals. Coaching is in high demand globally, and more companies are hiring credentialed coaches. 6. Income Stream: While income can vary depending on your level of expertise and client base, successful coaches can earn a comfortable living, either full or part-time. Some coaches also offer group coaching, workshops, or online courses, which provide additional income sources. 7. Networking Opportunities: Many coaches are self-employed entrepreneurs who benefit and grow from being in the company of other business owners in the field. Networking opportunities are a great way to grow by partnering with other like-minded entrepreneurs. 8. Career Expansion: Becoming a professional coach allows you to evolve your career in a variety of ways. You can add coaching skills to roles such as management, sales, leadership, teams, etc. Coaching skills offer substantial career leverage in any field. Or, you can run your own business, or get hired on as a coach with a firm, or company. 9. Job Satisfaction: Witnessing the growth and progress of your clients, getting paid to do something you love doing, and the ability to be your boss leaves a lot of coaches very satisfied and thrilled about the work they do. 10. Positive Community: The coaching community is open, supportive, and collaborative. You can connect with other coaches, share experiences, learn from one another, and gain new resources. Coaches are also very positive and welcoming, which adds to the value of joining the coaching community. 11. Remote Work: Coaches can work with clients around the world. This allows many coaches to expand the reach of their clientele, work from home, and travel as they wish. 12. Positive Impact on Mental Health: The coaching skills you gain from becoming a professional coach give you the advantage of being of service to others, a heightened sense of self, enhanced communication skills, better confidence, self-empowerment, and the ability to self-coach as needed. These all have a positive impact on mental health. While there are a variety of benefits to becoming a professional coach, it's important to note that it also comes with challenges, such as building a client base and managing the business aspects of coaching. If you are new to running your own business, ensuring these aspects are taught or offered in the coach training program you seek can be equally important as the training itself. In essence, coaching is a profoundly fulfilling and worthwhile career path for those who wish to make a living by empowering lives, are passionate about elevating people, and desire to leave a positive imprint on the world.
0 Comments
Attending an accredited school offers several benefits, which can be important for students, their families, and future career opportunities. Accreditation is a process by which an external agency evaluates and certifies that an educational institution meets specific quality standards.
Here are the eight key benefits of attending an accredited school, program or training: 1. Quality Assurance: Accreditation serves as a stamp of approval for the quality of education provided by the institution. It indicates that the school meets established standards for curriculum, faculty qualifications, and student support services. 2. Transferability of Credits: Credits earned at an accredited institution are more likely to be accepted by other colleges, universities, and educational programs. This is important if you plan to transfer or pursue further education. In the coaching world, you may wish to transfer your Level One accredited training to a Level Two accredited program. 3. Employment Opportunities: Many employers prefer to hire graduates from accredited schools because they are seen as having received a higher-quality education. Accreditation can also be important for professional licensing and certification in some fields. 4. Educational Quality: Accreditation helps ensure that the school is committed to continuous improvement and adheres to academic and ethical standards. Students can expect a more rigorous and relevant education at accredited institutions. 5. Consistency: Accreditation helps maintain consistency in education standards, making it easier for employers to evaluate the qualifications of applicants from different institutions. 6. Support Services: Accredited schools are typically more likely to provide robust student support services, including counseling, registrar functions, career support, and academic advising. 7. Alumni Support: Attending an accredited school may provide alumni support. This may include opportunities to network with other students, faculty, and alumni, potentially leading to valuable connections and opportunities in your field. 8. Reputational Benefits: Accredited schools tend to have a better reputation in the academic and professional communities. Graduating from such an institution can enhance your own reputation and credibility. It's important to note that there are different types of accreditation (regional, national, specialized), and in the coaching world there is specialized accreditation. Currently, the global standard setter for coaching education is the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Compiled by Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC Investing in yourself is one of the most valuable investments you can make in your life. It involves dedicating time, effort, and resources to improve your skills, knowledge, and overall well-being. What is self-investment? It is allocating your internal and/or external resources back into yourself. This can be your time, energy, talent, or money. It can be in the form of self-care to help balance your energy, or it can be in terms of self-growth and life fulfillment. Regardless, investing in the life you have to life is one of the most meaningful things you can ever do. Below are the top ten key benefits you receive from investing in yourself: 1. Personal Growth: As you acquire new skills, expand your knowledge, and challenge yourself, you become aligned with your potential. A potential is something within you that hasn’t been discovered. Growth happens when you tap into the new potentials, and they expand you. 2. Increased Self-Confidence: As you grow and reach new milestones in life, your self-confidence naturally solidifies. This confidence has a positive impact on all areas of your life. 3. Career Advancement: Self-improvement enhances your skills, expands your personal/professional strengths, and leverages your capacity to show up with confidence. Those advanced skills make you more valuable in the job market. Self-investment gives you access to better job opportunities. 4. Financial Well-Being: Improving your skills and knowledge can directly impact your earning potential. Many high-paying jobs and entrepreneurial opportunities require specialized skills and expertise. By investing in yourself, you can increase your earning capacity and therefor your financial stability. 5. Adaptability: In a rapidly changing world, the ability to adapt and learn new things is crucial. Investing in yourself by staying current with industry trends and learning new ways of being enhances your resiliency amidst change. 6. Better Health and Well-Being: Investing in yourself also means taking care of your physical and mental health. Engaging in ways to improve your life positively impacts your overall well-being. 7. Fulfillment and Happiness: Investing in your passions and personal goals lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness. When you invest in activities and experiences that bring you joy, you enhance your overall emotional state. 8. Improved Relationships: Personal growth can positively impact your relationships. As you become more self-aware and emotionally intelligent, you communicate more effectively, empathize more deeply, build stronger connections and that can last for a lifetime. 9. Problem-Solving Skills: Investing in yourself develops your critical thinking muscles and problem-solving skills. These skills help you rise above challenges and operate from a big-picture problem solving perspective so that you can navigate life's challenges more effectively and make better decisions. 10. Long-Term Successes: The ultimate benefit of self-investment the capacity to eliminate self-limiting factors and sustain success for the long-haul. Self-investment means that all of the new skills and growth you attain go with you for a lifetime. In summary, investing in yourself is one of the wisest and most emotionally and spiritually worthwhile endeavors you can take. It's an investment that sets you on a path to achieving your goals and aspirations. Kobi Yamada said it the best, “What if the rest of your life was the best of your life?” Laurel Elders:
Welcome everyone, to Coffee, Coaching and Callings, a live podcast created for coaches, leaders, and helping professionals that are on a mission to lead a successful and heart centered life. I'm your host today, Laurel Elders of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence, where it's our mission to elevate human potential through the art and the science of masterful coaching. Today, we will be focusing on business success tips with Kindra Maples. I'm so excited to talk to you today, Kindra! Kindra is the founder of The Culture Crush Business and the energetic host of the Culture Crush Business podcast, which launched in 2020 and has hit 1 million listens. At the one year mark, she took the next step to start the Culture Crush Business, a hub for company culture resources. It supports companies and leaders by bringing the resources for improving company culture into one location. Today we are going to be talking about the impact of culture on organizational success. Welcome, Kindra. Kindra Maples: Hello. I'm so excited to be here with you today! Laurel Elders: Yes, we met through Conscious Capitalism, Arizona, and then reconnected through Kelly, our mutual... Kindra Maples: Yeah. Which is fun too, because Kelly used to work out of the Mac Six space. And I told you that's where I am sitting today while we record the podcast. Laurel Elders: Yeah, I love that. So to kick us off, let's get on the same page. How would you define company culture? Kindra Maples: It is definitely a difficult thing to narrow down sometimes because so much of the culture is what is unseen. So things like valuing people, treating them as humans, trust building, that stuff you can't necessarily see when you walk into a building. Right. And so a lot of to me, what culture is, is a lot of the unseen. It's how you're treating your team, how you're working with your team, how you're building with your team, and the actions that go around with all of that. Laurel Elders: I was talking to a colleague of mine. She's also an executive coach. And we're talking about how sometimes the culture just creates itself, if we're not conscious. Yeah, I'd love to hear thoughts on that or experience. Kindra Maples: Yeah, there's a company I'm actually working with right now, and when we initially met and we're going through kind of the intro and how going to work with an evaluation that we do. In the very beginning, the CEO said, well, we don't really have a culture. I said, oh, you do, you just don't know what it is. There's a culture whenever you put multiple people together. You and I together in this conversation, we're going to build our very own culture. When you go to a networking event, right. How many times have you ever gone to a networking event and you can go to an event where maybe the setup and the structure is the same, but the feel is just different. The people are different because those events all have a culture. When you go to family reunions, when you just go to visit family and you put everybody in one room. My family culture is very different than someone else's family culture. It's loud, it's rambunctious, it's energetic. Right? So you're going to have a culture the moment you put multiple people together in a room. And so I thought it was really cute when the CEO said, we don't have a culture, and I'm like, you do. And then as we went in and we did the assessment and we evaluated their culture, I found the reason why she didn't think they had a culture was because the culture was tied to her. She was a very key point in the culture of the company. And it was a great culture. It still is. They're growing, but we need to help them. We're in the process of helping them right now grow their culture so that if she is removed, the culture can still thrive. Because there's been a lot of cases with companies in the past where the CEO, the founder, they are the culture. And the moment they leave, a company turns to garbage. Or maybe it thrives, but in a different way because the culture is tied to that person. And so the moment you put people together, there's a culture. And you just have to see and feel and define it. And to your point, right. Be intentional about it too. It's not that if you compare two companies and somebody from one company moves to the next company. It's not that that company might be bad, it just might not be a great culture fit for them, right. You could have two companies that do the same thing. But the people and how you're intentional about growing it is going to define what changes and what shifts in those cultures. Laurel Elders: I love that. What are your thoughts on the balance? If it is a balance, between being intentional about it and kind of letting the company, um, I guess, attract the culture? Kindra Maples: Yeah. I think there's a little bit of both, right. I don't know if it is a balance, right. But it definitely is both. And I'll even throw another piece in there. There's the culture and how it's naturally going to build with the people that you're hiring and who you're putting in place. There's the culture that you can help grow by finding the resources or, right, coming to us, will provide those resources that are going to help you build the culture, build the connection, build how you value each other. You trust each other. And then the third piece is the leadership. It's the CEO. The founder. Their influence on the culture is extremely important. And going back to what I mentioned before, right? Being intentional about growing in a way where they have the influence, but the culture isn't dependent on them. But it has to come from them. It has to come from leadership. It can't come from middle manager that really wants to grow the company, that's great. They're going to grow their team. They're not going to necessarily influence the entire company. So, to your point, it's kind of those pieces. There's a little bit that's going to naturally happen. And then there is a piece that has to be intentional about the resources and the influence that you provide to your staff. Laurel Elders: Yeah, that absolutely makes sense. What role do you see culture playing in overall organizational success? Kindra Maples: It plays a role in literally every piece of the company. It truly does. When it's tied to, for example, that company I mentioned, right? Culture is very tied to that CEO. If that CEO were to leave right now, the culture would not stay strong because she's tied to it so much. If a company, um, if you have... I have so many different ideas right now with this. But the culture is so tied to all of the different pieces. And now I'm so excited, and now I'm forgetting your question. Laurel Elders: So organizational success. Kindra Maples: Yeah, it's every piece. So, you talk about it with the CEO. If the CEO leaves, it's tied to them. And then when you look at every other piece and every other section of culture, right. Look at the marketing piece. They have to know the culture. They have to know the company. If they're going to market and tell the story. Look at the recruiting piece. Your team is going to be your best set of recruiters. They're going to tell their friends and family. They're going to tell them the real stuff. If they're telling them the real stuff that's not good, then that's going to affect your recruiting efforts. When it comes to then retention, keeping people, especially right now, there's still this battle of in-person, remote, what's best? Again, it really depends on the company. What's the company providing that flexibility. These younger, newer generations that are coming into the workforce. They're not playing these games anymore. And if it's not a company that supports them and their growth and their flexibility for them to do things outside of work too. Well, again, that's going to affect the recruitment. And now we've talked about recruitment, retention, marketing. If you have that much turnover, well, there goes your bottom line. Your bottom line is now garbage because you're spending so much money on hiring and training. So it really does affect every piece of the company. Um, there's another piece I'll throw out. There's a company we're partnering with right now that focuses on the mental health side. Your culture at your company. If you're not taking care of your staff as humans, as people, you might think it's outside of work, right? They're fine. Whatever's happening outside of work is coming with them into work too. And so if you're not providing the mental health resources to try and improve their outside life with their inside life. Well, then, right there, now you're covering medical. Right now, you're paying for all of the bills and the doctor's appointments. So then again, it's a cost. And so it really affects all of these different areas from the very beginning onboarding somebody to offboarding somebody and who they're going to go talk to about the company, and literally everything in between. Laurel Elders: Wow. I think I just had a big epiphany, as you were, all of that. I was just thinking how there's so much benefit to human beings being in community, and your work is your community, like what you enter into every day. What a huge impact it has on us. Kindra Maples: Yeah. Laurel Elders: Mentally, emotionally, all of it. Kindra Maples: Yeah, it's no longer. I mean, I think about my dad, and I've said this a thousand times to folks. I think about my dad. My dad used to work as a frame technician. He worked on cars. And so he was the one that when you got into a car accident, he put the vehicle on the frame and he stretched it and he moved it. If it was salvageable, to measure it back to where it needed to be. That was his job, right. He can't do his job remote. It can't be a flex work schedule. Right. But going in and doing that job and the companies that he worked for. I guarantee my dad didn't like his job. But he did it because he had to. He had to put food on the table for our family. And I could see the stress that it caused him. And now fast forward, we're having these conversations about culture, about mental health, about inclusion. And we're having these conversations on a more frequent basis. And now there's no excuse for companies, really. I mean, the support is out there. They just have to take the initiative to utilize it. Laurel Elders: Yeah. So true. And I know you and I had spoken about how one of our passions at the Institute is helping companies create a coaching culture and what a positive impact that is having. It's starting to get some wings, the coaching culture, as the research comes out and is showing how the companies with that culture are standing out. I'm just curious because it's so, kind of in its infancy if you compare it to other approaches that have come through. Curious if you've come across any coaching cultures? Kindra Maples: Um, not too many. A lot of companies, I feel like they start with other types of structure, like EOS systems and things like that, to help put the pieces together. And then there's only been a couple where I've started to see more of this coaching influence. And a lot of it is connecting them with resources like you, right. With some of the companies, I mean, a lot of the companies we've worked with, they don't necessarily know the resources, that are out there that they don't know, right. You don't know what you don't know. And so this being, like you said, kind of a new technique, it is now in our hands to be able to share it with more companies so that they do understand that this is a total new direction that they could go in that could amplify their business and their culture even more by allowing that coaching piece to be in the fiber of the company. So I haven't seen it too too much, which is why I was so excited when you and I had the chance to reconnect, because now I get to take everything that you're doing and I get to go and I get to share it with everybody else now. Laurel Elders: I love it. So beyond the coaching culture, I'm just curious, what resources do you see are really benefiting companies right now in terms of having that culture shift? Kindra Maples: Yeah. One of them along the lines of what you're doing. Right. We can go in and we have resources that help with a one time thing. Maybe it's education for diversity, inclusion, accessibility. That's a big space for topics right now. Mental health is a big space of topics right now. We can go in and we can do all of this, but there's a follow up that's needed. And myself and my team will do some of that follow up, but there's a little more when it comes to day to day support. And so that's why I love when we have coaches on our platform and like you, we can refer to you so that they have that support system. Right. Think about it. In any other area of life, when you're a kid and you learn how to play soccer, do you have one lesson and then you just go play and you're a rock star? No. You have a coach that's working with you, right? If you're going to the doctor and you're trying to figure out something that's going on, is it one visit to the doctor? They're like, Here you go, figure it. Okay, you're all done. No. You continue to go to the doctor, right. A financial advisor. Do you meet with the financial advisor? And they're like, boom, here you go, move on with life and nothing will change. No. So we have these coaches in all areas of our life, and a lot of it was when we were younger, and then at some point, it just stopped. And so getting back into the understanding of needing somebody that's going to guide you, support you, and kind of hold your hand for a little bit, right, to get them to the points that they need to be. That's a big piece in the culture space. Some other resources have to do a lot with mental health right now. How can we provide the mental health resources so that people can do some things that are going to take them off depression and anxiety meds. There's a couple of resources right now, one that's called NeuroGen brain balancing. It's crazy. I'll send you the link. They've actually made extreme strides to get people off medicines for anxiety, depression, PTSD, all kinds of stuff. So helping them as a person, right? And then when they go back to work, that's a direct influence on the culture of the company. There's another company we partnered with that does Ketamine assisted therapy. And it's amazing how a couple of these sessions then can actually get somebody, again, off all of these meds. There's resources that we have that focus on communication. That's huge. I have a problem communicating just in my own household. I can't tell you how many times I've sent a text message and the response back is, Are you mad? What? I'm not mad. So the resources that we have for communication, that's another huge space, because one miscommunication is going to throw everybody off. And then how do you deal with that miscommunication? So we have some resources to help with coming into meetings, helping run meetings, facilitate meetings, helping connect the team together so that there's trust. So that you can have an open communication, right? And so I'd say those are kind of the main areas right now. The communication, the mental health, and then the coaching side where those resources are out there. Companies sometimes just don't know. And so how do we connect companies to the resources that they need and the resources that are the right match for them. Because one resource that works for one company might not be the best fit for another company, right? Same thing with the financial advisor, right? The financial advisor. If you've got high dollars, you maybe need a different financial advisor than a college kid that's just learning, right? There's different resources that are better matches for companies and they're there. It's just a matter of sharing them with companies. Laurel Elders: I love that. In the coaching world, we say every single human being and company has their own unique success formula. Period. Dot. So getting them what they're actually needing. And how about if somebody's listening in a leader or a company, um, business owner, and they're wondering, this sounds great, where do I start? It just seems so big, right? Culture. Kindra Maples: It does seem big. Um, again, it's so nice that we are having these conversations. I was that. From middle manager to executive that was trying to improve culture, and I was Googling stuff. I was Googling DEI. And nowadays, right, we say it as if it's its own word. Like companies don't even know what that middle letter is sometimes, right? And so it's more of a conversation now so that we don't have to just Google. We don't have to ask chat GPT, right? The resources are there. It's just a matter of getting them. And that's why I started this company, is so that the resources are all in one place. I don't have to be the person building a company on mental health and diversity and inclusion. I don't have to be the expert in a thousand areas. My space of expertise is connection. And so we are very much a hub. So when companies are listening and leaders are listening and they're like, this sounds great, oh my gosh, where do I start? We start with an initial assessment. We'll do a quick chat, right? Make sure it's a good fit. Then we'll actually do a deep dive evaluation. So, that evaluation is eight different areas. Those are the areas that we have resources so that we can start to find the pieces. Because most of the time, some of these companies are doing great and there just might be one thing that's off that's really influencing the culture of the company. And so we do that assessment, we do the evaluation, then we put the plan together. What's the plan that's going to target the areas that they need? And to your point, right, every company has their own solution. I cannot give the same formula to ten different companies and have them succeed. One company may have communication issues. One company may have issues where they need resources for mental health. One might need to add some diversity. They're all going to have their own equation, right? So we do the assessment, we put together the plan. Who are the partners that are going to come into play? Essentially, they're the puzzle pieces that are going to fill those gaps for the company. And then we move on to that stage of thriving to help that company really transform their workplace. And then I follow up on both ends. I follow up with the company, I follow up with the resources. So we're continuously vetting everybody, making sure that the resources we're providing are good partners and so are the companies that are using these resources. And I say that because there are some companies out there that, I'll be honest, they don't want to work with. If they don't see that there's a problem, right? If it's just the company staff maybe saying, hey, this is such a horrible company, how can we improve, blah, blah, blah. If it's not leadership and it's not executives and board members and everybody on board with the need to improve, then it's not going to. And so, at least for me, right there's, that balance of everybody has really got to be bought in for us to really help. And that's what will take it to that thriving. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Oh, it's so true. Transformation takes willingness. If there's no willingness, it's like... Kindra Maples: Yeah, yeah Laurel Elders: I love it. So we're on Facebook Live and Kelly said she loves seeing us together. Shout out to you, yay. Kindra Maples: She's another one of these connectors, right? Laurel Elders: Yes! Powerful. Kindra Maples: She knows when she's working with her clients. Those that don't know, Kelly has a company that's all focused on marketing. Although now it's more than marketing, really. So she knows when she's working with the client. Okay, here's the gaps where she can fill. Now, if she starts to work with a company and sees, wow, they have some emotional issues, like, let's figure out what those other resources are, she knows that she can't fill those gaps, so who can? Then we can come in. Right. And so that's the really cool part about these relationships, like Kelly and with you, right. Where we all fill in different pieces, and we're tackling these companies as a whole to be able to put those puzzle pieces back together. Laurel Elders: Yes. So powerful. And I'm curious what called you to this work? Kindra Maples: So my background is actually in animal behavior and training. Laurel Elders: Fascinating! Kindra Maples: Yeah. So back in the day, I was that kid that was like, I want to work with animals. I want to save the planet. And so, I mean, I did part of that. I haven't saved the planet yet. It's still on my bucket list. But I worked with animals and did training for over 15 years. And when I was in that space, it started with just training animals, training them to take care of really their own husbandry. Right. So that I didn't have to.... I could just have them come over to the fence and take some medicine. Then it moved on to helping train other people, to train animals, to then take them out for presentations, to teach the public. And then it turned into more of the operations, the leadership side. And I realized what was happening. I was taking everything I learned training animals, and I just shifted. And I use it with people now. So, compassion, communication, connection, trust, these are all the fundamentals when you're working with an animal that doesn't speak your language. And they're all the same things that transfer when you're working with people. And so that went into, I worked in the operations leadership side for a little while with a couple of companies, and then I say, I had the pleasure to work with some companies that had a phenomenal culture, and I've had the pleasure of working with some that did not. And so that really was the final piece that led me to where I am. Because like I said earlier, I was the one that was searching for resources to help improve culture. And you're Googling this stuff, they're all over they're all over the web. You don't know what you're getting. You don't know if you're getting the right resource. If I went to Google, um, coaching culture. Am I going to get you online? Who knows? Probably not. I might end up with who knows what company just because they paid for some Google space ads, right? And so there wasn't anything really out there. There wasn't a place. It wasn't like I needed something for the house, and I go to Amazon, everything is there. It wasn't it wasn't like that. And so I saw that as a gap. And then along the same timeline, I had a couple of interactions with some leadership that just it wasn't good. They were those companies that I mentioned earlier. They need the help and they won't take the help. Um, and I really just decided, okay, let's start to have the conversation. And that's when it started as a podcast. I had the opportunity, actually, out of Max Six here with Phoenix Business Radio X to do a podcast all on company culture. And after a year of doing that and having the conversations, so many people were coming to me and saying, hey, listening to your podcast, do you have a particular resource that you would recommend for this? Or this, or this? And it just kept happening. And that's when I put all these pieces together for me right to go, huh, they have the same gaps that I had when I was looking for these resources. Let me put them all in one spot. And so now I get to take my skill of being a connector, and now I get to do it on, like, crazy level and make sure that companies have the resources that they need. And I don't have to be the one to be the puzzle piece. There's a puzzle piece out there that they need. And I probably have a connection and a resource. If I don't, at least I'm in that space. I'm going to find it a lot faster than a company that is struggling and trying to Google online. And then it fell into place. And now I'm filling this gap so that companies know when they are in that space and they need that help. They know that they can go to one spot and find all of those resources. Laurel Elders: And reliable resources. Amazing. I was so excited to hear about the business that you pulled together and how fun that it just kind of one thing led to another. It just was like this unfolding for you. Kindra Maples: It really was. And I've had friends for years that have said, Kindra, you should start your own company. I'm like, I don't know what I would do. I kept thinking of it as, like, a thing, like, I don't make anything, I don't knit. What would I do? And this just came and it was all of a sudden this, like, oh, duh, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Amazing. I'm so grateful you said yes to what was calling you on this. And if somebody wants to find out more information about your services, where can they find you? Kindra Maples: Yeah, I'm on LinkedIn all over the place. Um, but they can go to the website. It's www.culturecrushbusiness.com and that has contact for us. Podcast stuff, events coming up, all of that. Laurel Elders: Excellent. Thank you so much. This has been so delightful to just sharing this conversation with you because business success is a huge passion of mine, leader success. So thank you. Kindra Maples: Thank you. This has been a blast to just kind of sit and share my end of the story. Usually I'm in your role, and I'm asking the questions. So it's kind of one kind of fun to be the one on the other side, to be able to share everything. So thank you. Laurel Elders: Yes, absolutely. All right, thanks, everybody, for joining us today. We hope these messages have been a lantern to you on your path as you expand your success as a coach, leader, or helping professional. You can join the conversation further at Integrativeintelligence Global. Bye for now. In my early twenties, I was a single mom. I was also… quite honestly, an emotional wreck. I came across a flyer at a grocery store community board from a non-profit called SPROUT. It stood for Single Parents Reaching Out. They hosted support groups for single parents and offered free pizza and babysitting. I thought, "What the heck, I'll try it out." The facilitator, Barbara Costello, was profoundly inspiring and dedicated to her non-profit work. I also remember when she spoke, everyone listened. It was as if her words were activating something within us—something we couldn't quite grasp yet. One of her teachings made me angry though. She would say, over and over, "You have everything you need to succeed." Me? Living paycheck to paycheck. Me? Living with anger and emotional turmoil? Me? Feeling like a complete failure in life. And yet, her message never changed. "You have everything you need to succeed." It turns out she was right. The more I tapped into my inner resources, the more miraculous things started to take shape. Success wasn't just resting on external happenings. Success is an inside job. Barbara was the first person that introduced me to my inner power. Being in touch with this part of me felt so amazing that I was inspired to turn around and use my life to help others locate their power. Our personal power, or lack thereof, is interconnected to everything in our life experience. It impacts our:
There are physical symptoms when the body is out of alignment or injured. It is the same with our personal power. When our power is out of alignment, we experience emotional, cognitive, and spiritual symptoms. Here are just a few examples:
I reflect often on how Oprah Winfrey's talk show spiritually raised me. As I was growing up, I couldn't find answers in the world, and her show illuminated my heart with well-being with every episode. I recalled one episode in particular that woke something up within me. There was this one week, she was interviewing Maya Angelou. They were discussing Maya's book, "I Know Why the Cage Bird Sings". Maya shared about an experience she had. She was living alone, and someone broke into her house at night. She woke up and said something along the lines of "GET OUT of my HOUSE." She said the way she said it and the power it came from scared the robber, and they took off. That sharing woke something up inside of me. What would it take to have so much solid conviction that you could cultivate enough solid confidence in the face of a robber? I was attending a Tai Chi class. The instructor was considered a Tai Chi master. He shared that mastery is not about getting all of the moves right. Mastery is when you can walk into any scenario and feel confident because you can handle it. I was listening to my boss. He shared a story about a woman who got off the night shift and took the subway home as usual. She was all alone when a gang of 4-5 men entered the car she was in. When they saw her alone, they immediately started heckling her with sexual comments. Her intuition told her she was about to get raped, robbed, or both. She sank deep into her heart and started praying. Shortly after she shifted into her internal power, they let up and seemed to just "lose interest." She didn't do anything or say anything. She just shifted internally into her power. Immaculée Ilibagiza also experienced the power of prayer to access her inner power and connect to something bigger within her. She speaks of her horrific experiences as a genocide survivor in the Rwandan massacres in her book "Left to Tell." What do all of these people have in common? They each learned the power of tapping into the wholeness within them, which connected them to something greater, which in turn, solidified their personal power. We truly do have everything we need to succeed imbedding within. The question is "Do you know how to access it when you need it?" ....................................
Ready to dive into your Power & Wholeness? We are offering a one time free virtual learning retreat. >>> Registration is open: CLICK HERE <<< The Wellness Universe is opening up membership again! They are also seeking ICF trained and certified coaches.
You can sign up to learn more, or register here: https://www.thewellnessuniverse.com/become-wu-world-changer/?ref=laureleldersmcccec Laurel Elders:
Welcome to Coffee Coaching and Callings, a live podcast created for coaches, leaders, and helping professionals that are on a mission to lead a successful and heart centered life. Your hosts today are myself, Laurel Elders, and Dr. Kristen Truman Allen of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence, where our mission is to elevate human potential through the art and the science of Masterful coaching. This week, we are focusing on Coaching Mastery, and today's topic is on subtle distinctions. So this talk will really be geared towards, deepening your coaching skills. If you are already coaching, or if you're just learning coaching, we hope that these conversations will help you deepen sooner. Kristen Truman-Allen: Cheers. Laurel Elders: Yes. So there's so much here, especially I know, Kristen, you've been also studying what we now call Level Three coach training. That Master Certified Coach level. And going through that journey myself, I was so surprised how much I learned on that Level Three training journey. Kristen Truman-Allen: Me too. Yeah, it's surprising, right? You think that you've kind of got it, you have a general understanding, your clients are getting results, and then you take it to this other level and you're thinking, wow, um, what could I do to even make it better for my clients and for me in terms of thinking? And even when you said we're talking about distinctions and you said the art and science of coaching, that's a subtle distinction, too, right? Which I think we'll get to today. The artful piece as well as the science. Laurel Elders: Yes, absolutely. I was thinking, um, and one of the things that we talk about in our coach training is the difference between, um, rational and non rational and irrational. And so rational ways of knowing are more logic, in our mind, we can think things through, but sometimes some of our answers are buried within and our body might give us a prompt as we're thinking something, the body has a different reaction. It doesn't make sense, it's not rational, but yet what just happened. And that's an invitation to go deeper with our clients, and really help them. Kristen Truman-Allen: Yeah. I like to think of it as that linear versus nonlinear. And when you talk about out of left field how can we help our clients find that other space. Find those other answers that don't make sense, but that are being informed by something that got said offhandedly or something that's happening in a body movement or something that's shifted in that energy, that you can hear even if you're not in person, visually. Right? Laurel Elders: Yeah, absolutely. And just to make a distinction, while we're here, we are defining coaching as helping our clients get to their own wisdom. So it's what I call, is second journey coaching, where we take clients, so the first journey is somebody's being shown the way by someone else through guidance or a book or teachings on how to find their potential. So something outside of that person is helping them see new possibilities. But that second journey, where somebody has to find their potential by going within. That's what we're talking about with coaching today, just to clear that up. So really helping somebody locate their own answers, their own wisdom, their own power, nobody can give that to you. And the role the coach plays in that, so how do we show up without bias, in honor of the person that we are coaching? Their wisdom. And that's not necessarily easy to learn, is how to show up completely neutral and not have an opinion of where the client wants to go next. Kristen Truman-Allen: Right. Not just where they're going to go next, but have an opinion about the solutions they're coming up with. Right. So how do we know that bias? It makes me think about our own self awareness. So when we're talking about mastery, we as coaches, have to really be in tune with our own emotional responses and where we're activated, in order to stay neutral. So I'm thinking of you know, those moments where I can feel it, I can feel tugged or, um, energized when a client is saying something that feels connected to my own value or to my own expertise, or what I maybe was thinking might be a good solution based on my intuition. And so I can feel that vibration and that feeling of almost coming out of my seat, like there's something else I want to add, which is not my role as the coach. Right. So having that awareness of what our biases are, is what's coming to me. Right. Like just knowing so that you can manage it. Self manage our emotions. Laurel Elders: Yeah, absolutely. And I hear it in mentor coaching sometimes, too, where the coach gets excited before the client, or the coach might step in and try to help the client and say, "you've got this", and does the pep talk or what we call cheerleading. And you know what's fascinating, that's taking somebody on that first journey is showing somebody the way. But to really take someone on that second journey, the question of how can you get "I've got this" to come from the client. So they feel it, it's coming from them versus the coach supplying something. And that shift of, oh, it just reminds me of if you give someone a fish, you fed them for a day, because it didn't come from.... you know, If you teach someone to fish, you fed them for a lifetime. And to me, coaching is, yeah, it's taking someone deeper into themselves, so then they get to the point where they're like, hey, wait a minute, I've got this, I can do this. But it's coming from within. Nobody had to supply that. Kristen Truman-Allen: Yeah, it really resonated for me when in my mentor coach training, in my MCC training, Carly talked about the neurological response that inflammatory, the endorphin rush, when you have a really good idea, or when you're connected. And we want the client to have that because that's what will drive change, that motivation, that inspired action is where they will have movement and also physiologic insight. And so, that awareness of like, oh, that's happening for me. And then, like you said, how do I, what are the kinds of questions or reflection or acknowledgment that I can do as the coach to help the client access that for themselves and put mine on the side. And let it inform me, but not drive the conversation. Laurel Elders: Right. Right. It's so humbling. I remember, I'm just resonating with what you're saying, because in my own coach training journey and mentoring, I remember times getting off the call, being like, that was, oh, I just felt like I was in my flow. And then I just felt so good getting off the call. Well, I realized, looking back, I was attempting, this is when I was first starting, I was still grasping distinctions, I was doing more mentoring and providing and believing I was cheerleading. So I was getting all the dopamine, right. Like what you were just sharing. And I was thinking about like, oh my gosh, but did the client have that experience? Probably not, because they're trying to play catch up, because the coach is excited. And, and come to find out, that wasn't really coaching. so, You know I think becoming a coach can be such a personal growth journey, too, because we... Becoming a coach, taking someone on that second journey, where we do not provide, the client finds it within themselves. That is a place of humility. Complete honor of the other, and complete acceptance. Like, there's so many ingredients that go into it. Kristen Truman-Allen: So much trust. Laurel Elders: Yeah. And the removing of bias. Powerful. It's really powerful. Kristen Truman-Allen: I'm curious, when we're talking about bias, we've so far been talking about the bias of our own ideas, which I think comes from our own expertise. Where else do you think that bias comes from, as it relates to the coaching conversation? Laurel Elders: Yeah. Something that, I find fascinating is that not all bias could be a negative. So, here's a distinction, since we're talking about subtle distinctions today. In your research with metaphors in coaching, you found, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you found that even if the coach ended up presenting a metaphor, the client could still benefit from that. Is that accurate? Kristen Truman-Allen: Yes. Laurel Elders: So that's fascinating. And sometimes it was client generated. So that, to me, indicates if the coach does bring in a metaphor, that that would be introducing a bias or a lead, and it's not necessarily always a negative. So the question is, when is bias a liability that would hold the session back and when can it be an asset? Kristen Truman-Allen: HM. Yeah. So speaking from a metaphor perspective, I think where it becomes a liability is if the coach is attached. If the coach has a direction or an attachment to where they want the client to go with that metaphor or with the image that comes forward, then it becomes the coach in the way of the client's own progress. So if I've said a metaphor out loud because I'm curious and I'm trying to help them find something, I might notice something that was an intuitive hit. And if I said it, I have to be completely detached and let the client say, actually it's more like this. Right. Or I guess it also could become a liability if we're not careful and we're somehow accidentally coaching someone in trauma, then it could become a trigger. And so we want to have clean language as much as we can and know who our clients are and be in partnership. So if the client can be in that back and forth of, um, actually no, that's not what it is, it's something like this. So an example might be somebody might have said they were stuck. And so I might have said, is it stuck like being in quicksand? They might say, no, it's actually stuck like I'm spinning on a bicycle on ice. Or I'm stuck like, um, I feel rooted like a carrot, or you know what I mean? So if you're in that playful kind of discourse, then there's that distinction of I'm not leading, I'm being curious. And I'm offering some other outside conversation to bring it new ideas coming forward. And the liability is if I'm attached. And if I stay in the metaphor, what I brought forward and it didn't have any energy, they didn't want to go forward with it. It didn't matter then, then now I'm in the way of the client finding their own wisdom. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Well, I was just thinking on the PCC markers 7. 5. So under Evokes Awareness, it's the coach shares and then invites. So my original mentor, Sandy Hogan, she brought this concept of, coaching is the wisdom of both the coach and the client. And that really that helped me because my initial coach training, it was like, it's the client, it's the client, it's the client. I was almost like, oh my gosh, I have to leave everything at the door. Which is true. We do honor the client's wisdom. Everything we're doing is in honor of that wisdom. And if something's popping in intuitively, there might be wisdom to that, I don't know. So if I share something that might pop in and then invite, then the client is included in the dialogue. So I don't know, I'm just going to throw this out there. But if I say, oh, as speaking to the client, as you're sharing this, this visual of, let's say a metaphor, popped in and I share it. But I'm just curious, I don't know if that resonates or has any meaning for you. It puts it back on the client. So, I'm sharing but not putting it into the conversation as this needs to be here. So there's that, take it or leave it. Kristen Truman-Allen: And I think it's important that you honored that. Right. There's something about that and it comes off and comes up. Like you said, that image happens. And I would say probably nine times out of ten, there's something to that image. If you're connected and locked in and in sync with that client. Tthere's some energy that's happened that's a connection. And I've been really surprised at how often there was some magical hit that I have no idea where it came from, right. But trusting the magic and trusting the client to do whatever they want to do with it, if nothing else, like you said, you're sharing and inviting and then, letting it all unfold, however it's going to unfold. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Kristen Truman-Allen: And you were talking about, as we talk about metaphor, there is that piece of the distinction of who, where it comes from. I would always try and let it come from the client first. But also as we're talking about bias, it makes me think of language in general. So, what you might have meant by a specific word is, I might hear it differently based on my own lens, my own bias, my own values. Laurel Elders: Right. Which is very connected to 6. 2 Active Listening explores the Language so I'm not assuming I understand that how the client is using the word is the same way I use a word. Kristen Truman-Allen: Right. Which helps culturally too, right. Because metaphors work in between cultures in a really powerful way. But we have to listen because what words mean, are, they're different. Mhm and so staying in curiosity in order to be aware of our bias and make sure that it's not a liability is important. Laurel Elders: Absolutely. And even being so, having the self awareness that let's say you're a parent and you're coaching another parent, so you assume like, oh, there's some similar language there, but my experience of parenting is not going to be the same as your experience of parenting. Kristen Truman-Allen: Right. And we might be all at different places. Right. Laurel Elders: Yeah. So even in our similarities, being aware that even in our similarities, our biases can slip in there. Kristen Truman-Allen: Right? Yeah. I mean, I'm even noticing even that conversation about parenting, how I'm activated. Right. Because I'm parenting an eight month old, a ten year old, a 13 year old, a 16 year old, and a 27 year old. And so in the conversation with different other parents, I could feel a need to share my own experience in some way or feel like I get it or I'm connected. Which I might be, but I need to check it and also let it be about the client, not about me. Laurel Elders: Yeah. it's so true. And we do talk about, in the coach training, we talk about personal sharing because it can have a place. I'm just curious your thoughts on when it's beneficial. Kristen Truman-Allen: Mhm. Well, I think it's beneficial if you're trying to create relatability, or if.... I recently had a situation where I was working with a client who was sharing and I could tell that there was a hesitance between what they felt like they could share because of a belief system. And so I just asked, would it be useful to share my alignment? And they said yes. So I asked permission and then I shared my alignment and then just let it go. I didn't tell any more stories about that, I just... it was... I don't think in a way of cheerleading, but in a way of relatability and establishing trust. and then it opened up the conversation to really be able to share on a deeper, real, honest level. Which is important when you're going to that second journey, right? We have to be honest and open. Otherwise, if we can't do it in the coaching conversation, we're staying then in the place where we would be limited without the coaching conversation. And the whole point is to break through those barriers, see the possibilities that are 100% all around, all the time. And be able to get to some of that vulnerability. But saying that, I would say if it becomes about me and I'm not clear about why I'm sharing, then that's an inappropriate time. Like, if I'm sharing because I want to be heard, or because I have some healing, or if I am needing to be right, or needing to be an expert, then I've stepped out of the coaching partnership of having the client being trusted and whole and fully 100% honored and capable. Laurel Elders: And that's such a good distinction, I think, or helpful distinction when it comes to taking someone onto that second journey, deeper into themselves, is, if the coach steps in to rescue or provide or do the work for the client. It's almost like, oh, wait, did I forget that? I truly believe that they have their answers. And I'm going to hold that space.. Is I just want to also.... So we are on Facebook Live. I just want to give a shout out to Tara. Hi, Tara. She just, posted some comments. Thank You! Also, I was thinking about, you and I were talking about some subtle distinctions and one of the things that we were talking about is the distinction between leading versus customizing. So, subtle distinctions and also crafting powerful questions for clients. And I just wanted to see if you had any thoughts on that, leading versus customizing. Kristen Truman-Allen: Yeah, I remember even in my MCC or my level three coach training, this came up for me a lot. This, like really figuring out how to be customizing and not leading. Especially if I have an expertise. So, what my mentor said to me was, see if you can inform your customized questions by your expertise, which is hard to do, right, because you don't want to be leading. You're customizing if you're making sure that you're asking a question for the client, not for you. Laurel Elders: Right. Or not for you to be right. Kristen Truman-Allen: Right. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Got you. Kristen Truman-Allen: Or to illustrate some particular point. Right. The questions are for the client. So that distinction of when you're leading, if you're responding to the client and asking a question that expands their awareness or expands their belief system or expands something about who they are, then you're customizing informed by something you already know. Laurel Elders: Of the client. Kristen Truman-Allen: Of the client. Laurel Elders: That distinction was powerful to me because in my MCC studies, it was like, I would ask these really concise short questions. And my MCC mentor, Carly, she invited me to expand. And I was oh, I now, it clicked in. When I customize, I'm taking something that the client has identified or that I know of them, and I'm taking that concise question and then inviting that piece of information in to make the question even more powerful. Kristen Truman-Allen: Right. Laurel Elders: For them, for their experience. Kristen Truman-Allen: Yeah. And I think, I'm imagining that people listening are like, well, hey, yeah, you're saying what to do, but how do I do that? And I think a lot of it has to do with understanding values, like getting to know your client in a way that you know what their values are, what their energies are, a little bit about their strengths or other things, goals that they've set. Language that they've used even in the beginning of the conversation, right. Using their own language and being curious about that, to invite a connection to something that they've newly found. So that you're customizing in their own language, which creates that connection, too. Right. It takes it to that other level, and also not being attached to where they used to be. So there's another little bit of that distinction. Right. Like, if you show up to the conversation and I am remembering you as the client, based on where you were two weeks ago, there might have been some growth. So I have to show up blank again, assuming that you're not the same person that you were before, but I'm still informed by, is this still a value? Is this still a thing? And listening to see if it's moved on. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Kristen Truman-Allen: That's abstract. Laurel Elders: That really resonates with me, because it's not letting the past, well, it's honoring what was and being open to what is and could be for the client. I guess that's the growth for a coach is, how can I hold this space of just because last session we touched on this, doesn't mean it's still true, so let's explore. It's just this place of complete. Everything is open, and yet we're still honoring what could be, what is. Yeah. Love it. Kristen Truman-Allen: So much. Laurel Elders: It is interesting. And I think, I don't know how your experience of learning coaching and deepening your own mastery of coaching has been, you know that journey. But, gosh for me I remember when I shifted into.... There was this click-in of I really do believe my clients have their answers. In the beginning, I was like, yes, I get it logically, but my bias would still show up because I wanted to help. And I felt like the more I participated, the more they would get. And I found the opposite is true. The more I provided, the less the client accessed their own power. It was really that humbling. Kristen Truman-Allen: Yes, it's humbling. And also you're having to put aside what you think the client will value in terms of, like, are you providing enough for them? Will they continue to want me if I'm not providing any answers? if we're not getting outcomes in m, a measured kind of way in my mind, then maybe I'm not effective. Right. But that's not what's happening. So there is that shift and that click and that trust of most of the time the client brings a what kind of thing to the conversation. But when you're taking it to that second level and they're going deeper and they're getting more powerful information coming from themselves and taking action from there, they will get where they're wanting to go faster, harder, more aligned and personally driven versus external. Laurel Elders: Yeah. It's pretty powerful. And I always reassure the students when they're just starting out on the coaching journey that we have these conversations about, well, but I feel pressure to get the client results. It's like, take yourself off the hook. The client will get their own results when you focus on them while they're solving the what. You focus on the who, they solve the what and they'll walk away saying, oh my gosh, thank you. I had no idea I could do this. Or I had no idea I was thinking this way. So you still get to participate in the gratitude. Don't worry, they're not going to not value you. They'll value you more. Kristen Truman-Allen: For sure. So, yummy. Thank you for this conversation. It brings up the power of coaching, with all of its distinctions and how much it is such a professional way to help people grow professionally. Laurel Elders: Yeah. In such a unique and honoring way, too. All right, well, thank you everyone, for joining us today. We hope these messages have been a lantern to you on your path as you expand your success as a coach, leader, or helping professional. You can join the conversation further at IntegrativeIntelligence. Global. Laurel Elders:
Welcome everyone, to Coffee, Coaching and Callings, a live podcast created for coaches, leaders, and helping professionals that are on a mission to lead a successful and heart centered life. Your hosts today are myself, Laurel Elders and Michael Tucker of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence, where it's our mission to elevate human potential through both the art and the science of masterful coaching. Today's podcast, we will be focusing on following a calling and we are so honored to have with us today Hassan Rafiq. Hassan is a distinguished workplace strategist and a dedicated practitioner in the realms of diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging. With an impressive background encompassing over 15 years of executive coaching, organizational development, HR, transformation, and leadership development, Hassan's expertise is renowned in driving positive change within organizations through coaching senior executives on DEIB. In recognition of his groundbreaking work, Hassan was honored with the prestigious 2019 DEI Innovator of the Year and DEIB Leader of the Year Awards by Great Places to Work. Hassan is an ICF Professional Certified Coach, currently spearheads the esteemed Coaching for Inclusion practice, catering to C-Suite executives and senior leaders, and further propelling the transformative power of DEIB within organizations. Hassan, welcome. So excited to have you with us. Hasan Rafiq: Thank you so much, Laurel. Delighted to be here. Laurel Elders: Can you share a little bit about what called you into the DEIB work that you are doing? Hasan Rafiq: Yeah, happy to. So if I go back, my father was in the military and I'm from Pakistan, and every two to three years, we would move because he was stationed in different stations across Pakistan. And we might think that Pakistan is one country, one culture. North is very different to the south, and west is very different to the east. And every two years, I would have this experience of inclusion and exclusion. I didn't know the words inclusion and exclusion, but I would just experience it. New school, new town, new friends. You're just there for two years and then off you go to the next town, next new school, next new experience. And that sort of was my preparation into understanding differences, how to navigate those differences and how to embrace those differences. When I moved from Pakistan to the Middle East, in Dubai to head up diversity, equity and inclusion for EY, what I realized was this is more than just differences that we can see. For example, we would have one of our offices have 1500 people, more than 200 nationalities. 85% to 90% of the people in the country are expats. 10% is the local population. Diversity is literally like a melting pot. And I could not understand how do we design something for such a diverse population where classical Western approaches to diversity would not work because the concept of race does not work here. The concept of looking at LGBTQIA+ does not work here. What I realized through that was that I need to dive in a little deeper into myself and understand when I was having those childhood experiences, what were those? And those were moments of someone saying something to me that I felt wrong, or I felt, why would you say something like that to me, without realizing that that person has a perspective as to what they're saying and why they're saying it. So I believe strongly that a lot of the diversity that we experience is invisible. You can't see it. For example, in this conversation, there are three people. I can see a lot of visible diversity, but I can't see how you think, how you perceive, how you come to conclusion. I'll experience some of the language differences here because I'm not a native English speaker, so my English is different than yours. I'll experience a little bit of stylistic difference. Maybe you ask very direct questions and you think in a linear way. I am more circular in my thinking and more indirect in my communication. I'll experience a little bit of it. But as I'm experiencing it, I do fundamentally believe a lot of exclusion happens unintentionally. Let's take this example. You're very direct, I'm very indirect. You're expecting a linear response from me based on the question you asked, right? And I tell you a story because I'm indirect and I'm circular in my way of thinking. And you'll say, Hassan, come on, get to the point, or you will interrupt me because you're not getting what you should be getting in a linear and a direct way. Now, if someone is observing this, we can't see any of it. I will feel excluded if you interrupt me because you just dismantled my whole thought process. You will feel excluded because of the way I'll respond to you, because I'll tell you another story. And it will become more frustrating, right. Without realizing that we have diversity at play in this conversation and every single conversation that we can't see. I may be very careful, based on race, identity, in what to say to an individual. I can point that out. I can learn that from the tips. But the reality is it's much bigger than that. Who are you and how do I engage with you while focusing on the diversity that I cannot see? And I think that became my true passion. If I link this to coaching, long time ago, I had a colleague by the name of Dalal dan Leshi is an MCC. She observed some of my behaviors, and she said, you know what? You're very curious. You ask deep questions, and the one thing that stands out for you and others is you are a deep listener. You just patiently wait and create those pauses and don't fill the space with language or your communication. Have you ever thought about coaching as a profession? Never thought about it. What is it? I don't know anything about it. And that's where it started, as a journey. And within that DIEB is such a huge space in coaching. Not now. Yesterday. We should have thought about it way before coaching even started, because there is the lived experience and an identity that a person brings to a coaching conversation. And as a coach, I need to be extremely focusing on what is this person bringing besides being my coaching client. And their whole lived experience is part of it. So I summarize that it's not me at all. There are so many people who helped me understand what my calling was by asking curious questions. And then they also pushed me a little to explore how can I help people on their journey to becoming more inclusive, and then also build their personal transformation. Because we are all on a journey to transform ourselves, whether we like it or not, whether we see it or not, every single day we transform. And this just accelerates in areas that we want to. Laurel Elders: Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that. And it reminds me of just taking a coaching approach and how the skill of completely honoring who the person is you are with in this moment, and not bringing in a bias to project on them, seeing them as their own unique person while honoring their truth. Hasan Rafiq: Absolutely. Michael Tucker: You know, I really appreciate what you said about invisible diversity, Hassan, and I'm curious. I mean, it sounds like that's a large part of your philosophy, and I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about this unique DEIB approach that you have. Maybe there are other elements that you could share. Hasan Rafiq: Yeah, happy to. And I also feel I think it's being more human at the start of it. Yes, you may have a certain race identity, whatever it is, if we become curious about people, inclusion will appear automatically. Automatically. I've seen that happen all the time. When I set aside, especially when I'm coaching executives, they need a script, and I say, I don't have a script. I can't create a script for you on how to engage with someone from this race or someone from this gender. It does not exist. What I do have is a script for you to become more curious. Because the moment you become more curious about the individual, you will find connection points that you haven't discovered yet. Maybe they went to the same school. And by curious, I mean going deep with individual, not curious about what happened over the weekend. Oh, wow, you went to this ice cream shop. I go to there all the time. That's not being curious. It's curious about who is this person on my team? What is their lived experience? And the moment you dive a little deeper into the lived experience, you find a lot of similarities, but you also find opportunities to learn and grow as a human being. I'll give you a very simple example. Very senior executive in the engineering team and I started to explore with him his identity and his lived experience. Because he was frustrated by the word privilege. He was white, had a lovely experience in the tech industry, and he said, whenever someone says that, I'm just very frustrated by it. I said, fine, let's explore who you are and how you grew up. I want you to take me to your childhood. And he started sharing experiences. Some of them were very exclusionary, some of them were very inclusive and so on. But he told me one story where in 1980s, his father got a personal computer from somewhere, and he just opened it because he was curious. And I said, okay, let's look at this household now. You could afford a personal computer when it was somewhere around $4, 000-$5, 000 in 1980s. And you managed to open it up because you were curious. What about a similar household that does not have that kind of money? Do you see a little bit of privilege here or not? Can you discover it? Because someone else might not even have money to put food on the table for once, even single time for the day. And you're having this experience which is shaping who you will become next. And that exploration creates that insight that I had certain things given to me that others may not have. We're not putting a label on you by saying you're privileged because you had that. We are just exploring, if you did not have that experience, what would happen next and how would you grow. Similarly, I also feel, when you dive a little deeper into adult development, a lot of the individuals are stuck in me and my identity versus me and what roles do I play in this world. Multiple identities that I have, and how do I shape those multiple identities. Because we are told a narrative about ourselves that becomes our narrative. The moment we start exploring multiple narratives of who we are and who we can be, it just opens up multiple spaces for us to be someone else. And by someone else, I do not mean to say that you lose your authentic self. We have multiple authentic selves. We just haven't discovered them yet. And the moment we discover them, we realize, I can be this, I can be that. Sometimes I also feel where DNI becomes really challenging is when we hold on to one narrative and one identity very, very strongly, and that shapes the way we look at the world. And like I said, everyone has multiple identities. The challenge and opportunity with that is we haven't yet achieved equity from a visible diversity perspective, let alone focusing on invisible diversity. Representation matters, and we can see this in the coaching profession or any profession. We have lack of representation. That's the starting point. So we can approach it from a numbers perspective and focus more on getting more representation. The whole recruitment drive and getting more people from diverse backgrounds into the organization. If we don't focus on the environment that they are getting in, then we are doing disservice to them. It's just like you're putting seeds in the soil and the soil is toxic. You can have the best seeds in the whole world. They will not germinate, they will not grow into a beautiful tree because the soil is toxic. And that's the reason why I say representation matters a lot, but environment matters more. If you create that inclusive environment, you will automatically see more representation. And that's where the visible and invisible comes together, where it needs to be a balance between the two. How much effort, energy and enthusiasm are we putting in creating an environment or nurturing an environment? Where I experience inclusion, I don't give it in the form of a survey inclusion index. 89% of the people feel included. Yet you talk to a few of them and they share their horrible lived experience in the organization. That's not what I'm talking about. It's I experience inclusion when I talk to Michael and it's a lived experience. Right. You can't quantify it numbers, yes you can through a survey. But how am I feeling with you when I am with you in a team meeting? That's where inclusion happens and that's so hard to get because we don't invest enough in it. Laurel Elders: Wow, so many thoughts running and generated from this exploration. Just to touch on something that came up for me is, as you were talking about the different parts that we have and we can have different parts of highest self even. It brought to mind also, who am I in relationship with others that creates a new possibility potentially. If there's that awareness and respect there. Which brings me to this question. You had brought to my attention the work of Barry Johnson and the book, And. I would love for you to share a little bit more about what stood out to you. I've already just really loved and appreciated this work. Hasan Rafiq: Yeah, I got exposed to Barry Johnson's work about four or five years and then I went in. I was so enlightened by it. I got a certification to Barry Johnson and Leslie Depole from the Polarity partnerships. It says it all. One word says it all. And And classic approach to personal transformation is always about where am I and where do I need to go? It's always from and to. And you identify a gap and you can find so many books on change management that do just that. From where we are, what are the gaps, where do we need to go, how do we build for it? Uh, what Polarity Partnership says, it's not a from and to. It's always an and. Which means you are dealing with polarities and there is an upside and a downside to both of them. Very simple example would be centralized and decentralized. If we look at an organization and we say, you know what, we need to centralize all of it, it's a from and to conversation. There is an upside to centralization and a downside to it. If you focus too much on centralization, you'll start to see the downside of it. Similarly for decentralized, and if you apply that to coaching, if you apply that to DEIB, you will find so many dilemmas that we are trying to solve from a from and to approach, which is failing us. Because when you look at the DNI journey, you will find a lot of let's focus on the numbers. Let's get the representation. I just gave that example. Let's get the numbers right. If we get our numbers right, we'll get the representation and we'll become more diverse and inclusive as an organization. No. The answer is it is an and. If you're investing in one space, you need to focus on investing in the other space, which is, how do we become more inclusive? What does it look like? And will we have the same traditional numerical approach to achieving inclusion or not? And, that's the reason why I love it so much because it creates that dilemma in us as well as DEIB practitioners. What are we trying to solve for? And is it a problem that we are solving or is it a dilemma that we are engaged with? And both of those two things are different because problems can be solved very easily. You can apply the from and to approach. If it is a dilemma, it requires us to step back and understand the whole system. Where are we going to start to play in? What would be the consequences? And if I lean in too much on one side, what is the downside of it? So I bring that to the DEIB work that I do, and I also bring it to the coaching, because very senior leaders, they are dealing with a lot of dilemmas. They're not dealing with problems, especially organizational culture is a dilemma. And we need to understand what are the polarities at play? How do we navigate them? How do we get the upside of all the polarities? Which is the hardest thing to achieve when, you're trying to solve a dilemma or a problem? But personally, I think it has transformed me the most, because it's one thing to say there is an and to every conversation, and there is a but to every conversation. But the reality is when you say and, you just pause. And we know from a neuroscience perspective, the moment you pause, you use different part of your brain. You engage your executive brain. And that helps you think through things in a much better way versus just saying, oh, it's a problem we need to solve. What is the data? How do we solve it? So it slows you down a little bit, which is extremely important in the fast paced world that we live in because we end up solving problems that we shouldn't be solving because we didn't step back and look at the bigger picture, or we solved a problem that is going to create more problems later on. Michael Tucker: Yeah. Yeah. I really appreciate you sharing that, Hassan. I mean, so many different layers you know. And I have to be honest with you, I am still with this conversation that you were having with this CEO. And it makes me wonder for you, when you think about having these powerful coaching conversations that are, um, DEIB focused, what are some of the dimensions of those conversations? A lot of our viewers are other coaches. I'm sure this would be really helpful for them. Hasan Rafiq: Yeah. I think the starting point is to understand my coaching client and their personal DEIB narrative. It's a tool that I created, that I've used, and it is very powerful. It's not rocket science. It's your head, heart and hand. So understanding how you think about DEIB. If you come to me and say, you know what? I have this big announcement that I'm making next week. Can you share with me some talking points so that they are balanced from a racial and gender perspective? I'll say no. I don't do that. You don't need that. What you need is to understand who are you and what's your personal inclusion narrative. That will shape what you will write yourself. You don't need the comms team to write it for you. You can ask them to write it for you, and then you can rip it apart and put it back together based on what you want to say. The reality is, many of the executives do not have the time and space to build their own personal inclusion narrative. So when I say head, heart, and hand, I'm not looking for a story, but I am looking for a story. If you are able to give me that story in a moment, that's not good enough, because it does not give me enough to understand where is your head at when it comes to DEI? And that may be very specific to understanding representation numbers, quantitative qualitative data. Great. Where is your heart at? Because every single individual connects with a certain dimension of diversity more than others. Maybe it is LGBTQIA+ that you're more passionate about. Fine. Bring it out. Heart is also where you would have some of your own challenges with the concepts of DEIB. You may dismiss the concept of race. We need to talk about it. What's beneath that dismissal? Because you will discover more about yourself. And that's a very vulnerable space for a senior executive to be in. But, the growth that comes with it is very, very powerful. And then finally, it's the hand. What are you doing? And if you say, I am a big ally for women, and I sponsor this and sponsor that. Stop doing that. You don't need to do that. What you need to do is how are you moving the needle yourself? And just being a sponsor and an ally is not enough, especially if you are a senior leader. You're responsible for a team. You're responsible for a department. I need to understand from you what are you doing from a systemic perspective to make your department more equitable, more diverse. And oftentimes, because senior executives don't have the time and space, they build their own leadership team to do that work, which is fine. You get more people involved in the DNI space. So hand is not just being a, uh, mentor or sponsor or an ally. It's more than that. And as leaders go through this experience, they discover, I'm not doing enough, or I'm doing enough, I need to do more. That's their personal transformation as well, because when they do more, when they take on more, they learn more and they grow more. So this one tool has really helped because it is personalized. It's about them. It's their own journey, where they are on that journey, and how to take that journey to the next level by looking at areas of focus that they may not have discovered yet. That I think is very, very powerful from a coaching perspective because it's one on one. Laurel Elders: Wow. How do you see, or think we could advance representation in the coaching community? Hasan Rafiq: I think any organizer... I hear an echo, it's gone now. I see any organization has representation and not so much representation. So, starting from looking at our base in the coaching industry, what does it look like from a representation perspective and how organizations or individuals are advancing more representation for the future. Are we getting enough diverse candidates to become coaches? And sometimes there is a challenge in terms of if we can afford it. So I am absolutely inspired and love the work that you are doing. Laurel and Michael, with Coaching for Everyone. It's an opportunity for us to advance. Literally advance the coaching profession, to become more representative by bringing in diverse trainees who become coaches. I'll give you a real life example of why this matters so much. I had a very, very senior black engineer who kept on rejecting three top coaches that we gave him. And so I became very curious, said this person aligns, and the chemistry meeting should have been phenomenal because I know you really well, and I know this coach really well. So what's going on? Why are you rejecting? And it boiled down to the lived experience. My coach does not understand my lived experience. Why does it matter? Because it matters so much, especially in coaching, because you're going to be vulnerable. And this person does not connect with you at a level that you want because you won't be able to establish the trust, the openness, and I won't say that it's bad for the coaches. It's not bad for anyone. It's understanding that certain coaching conversations are much more powerful when they are happening with people who share your lived experience. They get you and they understand you. We also know that when it's coaching, you are an empty vessel. You don't have an agenda. Coach can be anyone. But we also know that the coaching client is looking for someone who shares their lived experience, who understands. So when we get more representation in the coaching industry, it's going to benefit not just the coaching industry, it's going to benefit the coaching clients as well, because they are looking for more diverse coaches. They're looking for someone who connects with them instantly. And that's something that we can also learn if we invest a lot in the training for coaches who are currently, um, in training, as well as coaches who are already established to understand DNI and how it shows up, identity, how it shows up. There's a lot of work that the ICF is doing in this space. But what I feel is representation is key here. And some of the work that you're doing with the coaching for everyone is going to lift us up. But we need more, and we need it now. So the more we accelerate representation in the coaching industry, the better it will be, especially for our coaching clients who depend on us. Laurel Elders: Thank you. And how about the different dimensions of diversity in the coaching conversation as well? The other side of that? Hasan Rafiq: Yeah, I think that's also something that I discovered when I was building this program for a tech company. Where we were looking for coaches who had deep DEIB expertise and were credentialed. And to my shock, I found thousands of DEIB practitioners who were using the word coach in their portfolio. Nothing wrong with it. It's not like I own coaching. You can use the word coaching. Big C, little C. Anyone can be a coach. It's not, there's no, rocket science. But organizations are looking for credentials. So I can't select those thousands of DEIB practitioners that I found because they did not have the credential. Similarly, I found thousands of coaches who did not have the deep DEIB expertise and sadly, some of them didn't want it to touch DNI because it was all about race. Right. That was the perception. What, I realized was, once I found those 48 people across the US. It was magical, because what we were trying to build for was executive development through a DNI lens. Not just regular executive development. Specific focus on how do we get better at DEI as a senior vice president, as head of this big unit. And therein lies a lot of dimensions of diversity, visible and invisible, because these senior leaders may be black, maybe Hispanic, maybe female, and so on, there is a lot of diversity that you can see in them. And then there is a lot of diversity that you cannot see, which a DNI coach can bring out their lived experience, their identity, their relationships. A little bit of adult development there, too. Their multiple identities and their relationship with DNI. Because essentially what we are building is their inclusion narrative from scratch. People who haven't had that chance. And then we are observing for how do they engage on the topic of DNI. Especially in certain industries in tech at that point in time. This was at the peak of the whole revolution that was happening. George Floyd's murder and Black Lives Matter. Every single moment was a moment to take a stand, and one wrong word, you're gone. Because the environment is such. And that's where I saw a lot of visible and invisible diversity intersect with one another. It was magical to understand your invisible diversity, informing your visible diversity. It was the first time that I saw that, because as they explored who they are, they realize they play a role in society that was given to them. They may not agree with it. Right? And what is that role? We need to explore that. We need to go deep into that. And it is not just getting a title of an ally. That's not enough. We have a specific role based on our identity and how do we leverage our identity to play that role. So essentially, it's a lot of inside out work. It's very deep, it's very vulnerable. A lot of, um, lived experience comes out, a lot of tears come out too. The reality is, once we do that work, we realize who we really are, who we truly are, and the role that we play in. Michael Tucker: Wow. You know, I really appreciate everything that you're saying, Hassan, and going back to what you talked about, this invisible diversity. It's such a powerful thing. I do a fair amount of diversity, equity, inclusion work, um, from a consultant standpoint, and I also bring it to my coaching. And it's interesting because even coaching other black leaders, there is a huge diversity of thought. And I think there's an idea that, there's a stereotypical black person and that's not the case. So, I mean, you know skin color is one thing, but diversity of thought is another thing. And you are really just hitting on that and talking about the roles and categories that folks have either unconsciously taken on or felt like they've had to take on, and how one might identify so strongly to that particular identity, to sometimes it could actually be a detriment. Hasan Rafiq: Mhm Michael Tucker: And so what you're talking about is really hitting home for me. I've really enjoyed our conversation so much. Just a couple of things, that if there's anything else that you'd like to just share with the folks watching or listening. If there's anything else that you think would be meaningful for them to know about you, about your work what would that be? Hasan Rafiq: Yeah. I would say if you're watching, if coaching is something that you're interested in, just go for it. What you will discover is it will transform you as a human being. If you let it transform you. And it's built on failure, we will fail. We fail all the time. I think I remember a quote from it was Nelson Mandera. He said, "I never fail. I either win or I learn. " That's it. And every moment is a learning moment for us. I also feel this is my personal message. I feel we have a big pandemic, and that's a listening pandemic. We are not listening to one another. We are becoming louder and louder, and we all have a point of view. The polarization that we see in this country and across the globe is because we are not listening to one another. We are not paying attention to what people are trying to say. And it literally hurts me, because that's one skill that we have. There is a reason why we have got two ears and one mouth. We should be listening more. And paying attention to what is being said and not said before jumping in with our point of view. So our real pandemic is the listening pandemic. We need to pay attention to how we listen and how to become better listeners. It's one of the biggest coaching practices. So if you're interested in coaching, it will automatically make you a better listener. Laurel Elders: Yes. Very well put. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. I just want to say, I'm just so inspired, because your messages and perspectives, to me, are the heart of what we value at the Institute for Integrative Intelligence of including all aspects of the whole and, um, having that very heart centered, honoring presence. So thank you. Hasan Rafiq: I'm so grateful to you, Laurel and Michael, and the work that you're doing, especially, driving more equity in the coaching industry. Thank you so much for doing that. Michael Tucker: Absolutely. Hassan, do you have a book or a website or any other information that folks might be able to tap into if they want to connect with you? Hasan Rafiq: Um, very timely. The book is coming. So I'm finishing up on that. I do have a website. I can share the link and my email address if people want to reach out. Michael Tucker: Fantastic. We can pop those things in the show notes. Hasan Rafiq: Thank you. Laurel Elders: Perfect. All right, well, thank you so much for joining us today. We hope these messages have been a lantern to your path as you expand your success as a coach, leader, or helping professional. You can join the conversation further at Integrativeintelligence.Global. Bye for now. Professionals who are or seek to be in the coaching industry, this is for you! Join us for The Wellness Universe September Business Intensive Workshop: Coaching Skills to Elevate Your Business Acumen with Laurel Elders
>> Use code "SaveToday30" to save 30% >> Code expires September 5th >> Register here: https://bit.ly/WUCoachingSkillsWorkshop In the 1989 movie Field of Dreams, featuring Kevin Costner and James Earl Jones, the main character Ray keeps hearing “If you build it, they will come.” This voice was alluding to a call for him to build a baseball field that would eventually save his family’s farm and reignite the vision of a recluse social justice activist. “If you build it, they will come” has since become a beacon of inspiration from that movie. It has inspired those who feel a calling to start a new business venture, invent a new system, leave a positive impact, or follow a vision that feels non-sensical. Yet, all too often people follow a calling and then feel like they keep hitting walls. Many of us who have taken the leap end up wondering if the field of dreams really does exist or was just a bunch of Hollywood ideology. How come it seems to work like magic for some people and not others? In this article we are going to look at the spiritual perspective on responding to callings and ways we can glean deeper wisdom from the movie. First, the movie operates on the premise that there is a Higher Consciousness that is guiding and interacting with Ray, Kevin Costner’s character. If you are atheist, that is ok, the lens we look through can still apply to you. It could also be said that Ray’s highest self was kicking in. Like an inner knowing that was tapping into something bigger (just study quantum physics to learn more about tapping into something bigger and the interconnectivity of energy). Second, notice that because Ray got the call, life didn’t become perfect. Quite the opposite. There were challenges. Also, notice that Ray kept listening despite the challenges. He kept tuning in and his faith won over his fears. This is important because I think this is where many people jump ship prematurely or jettison ideas. They receive the inspiration, follow the call, start a business and then…. crickets. This makes sense because when we start something new, we become more externally focused and sometimes we stop hearing the guidance that will allow the full path to appear. Third, the full path didn’t appear all at once. I think this is a point of frustration for many, myself included when I was first starting out. I thought, “Wait, if I’m answering the call that God put on my heart, then where is the illuminous pathway? Shouldn’t there be a short-cut to the end result?!” Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. Life is dynamic. Your next step will be given to you when you ask for it and are open to receiving/hearing it based on current circumstances. We have free will, things in this world are ever shifting. This means that the perfect next steppingstone that shows up for you is perfect in this moment. Have faith to put the next foot where the voice tells you too and have faith that the next step will come too. Fourth, the movie is … just that. It is a movie. Following a calling can take 3-10 years to root in. In our fast paced “I want it yesterday” society, we forget that all good things take nurturing and deep roots take time to form. The degree fear interferes is the degree that next step will be harder to see. Learning to walk by faith and not by sight, can take anywhere from a single moment to two decades, depending on one’s willingness. Walking in faith is a choice and it requires a willing heart. Walking in faith also means that there will be times that you feel you are crazy. In the movie Ray says, “I have just created something totally illogical!” Many steps the inner voice will share with you won’t make sense until the end. Whether it is God’s spirit guiding you, or your own highest self-calling you to something greater, or both, matters not. What matters is your willingness to set aside fear long enough to hear the wisdom and guidance of where to put your foot next. Walking in faith also means the end result might look externally different than what we originally had in mind. Sometimes when we arrive at a new goal, the form doesn’t match the expectations we were harboring. To truly walk in faith, abandon expectations and just simply trust the path as it unfolds. Lastly, the Field of Dreams isn’t saying, “If you build it, you will get all the money you need, customers or contracts will be falling out of the sky, and you won’t have challenges.” It is inviting us to be willing to remain open to the next step and trusting that next inner prompting is taking us to a place that we may not have been able to imagine on our own. In essence, following a calling is more than a life purpose. Following a calling is a spiritual grand adventure of a lifetime! |