Welcome to Coffee, Coaching and Callings – A live podcast created for coaches, leaders and helping professionals on a mission to lead a successful and heart-centered life. Your host today is, Laurel Elders, of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence, where it is our mission to elevate human potential through the art & science of masterful coaching.
Today’s podcast focuses on: Following Your Calling - A Path to Personal Integration
I have with me today two sisters that have not just followed their inner callings, but have dove in head first. I’m pleased to introduce Paula Francis, author of 18 Pairs of Shoes. Paula is the co-founder of Gross National Happiness USA. AND meet Christine Noyes, author and illustrator. Christine noticed that “She never chose her professions, they chose her.”
Christine Noyes: https://www.christinenoyesauthor.com
Paula Francis: https://www.paulafrancis.com
You can learn more about Paula's research findings here: https://www.paulafrancis.com/_files/ugd/6577c2_e992246a317341779c72171a84a63c3b.pdf
Dr. Jamal is an advocate for healthcare professionals. He empowers his patients and clients to fill their cups by breaking unhealthy patterns. He is a doctor of Chiropractic Medicine in Tucson, Az and hosts Soul Coffee, a podcast that helps exhausted and burnt-out professionals – parents or healthcare providers – to move back into living presently and powerfully.
Dr. Jamal sees chiropractic as one of the most efficient and powerful technologies to help process stress and trauma. His approach is a blend of structural and tonal adjusting that takes the whole body and life experience into consideration. His mom is from Peru and dad from Easley, South Carolina making him a proud bi-racial human. Originally from East Hartford, CT he is a former D1 Track & Field conference champion individually and as a team at his undergrad, Central Connecticut State University.
He understands the power of sweat equity and the demands of an athlete or a high-performing life and is dedicated to optimizing the athletes that we all are in our own unique ways. You can find out more about his work here: https://www.drjamalfruster.com
Today’s podcast will be focusing on Following Your Calling. We have with us today Melanie DewBerry.
Melanie is a ceremonialist, Poet, Speaker, and Hay House Author. She creates Ceremonies, for individuals and organizations on the threshold of Belonging, Becoming and Evolving. Melanie worked in the coaching field as a lead trainer, for CTI. Upon waking from a dream, she co-created the first and only magazine for the coaching industry, called choice, where she wrote “The Soul of Coaching” column for five years.
You are joining us for Part Two: Cultivating Self-Love on the Journey!
You can learn more about Melanie's work at: www.MelanieDewBerry.com
By Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC
I was at home exercising to a TaeBo video. At the end, Billy Blanks, the lead instructor, shared his core message to “walk by faith, not by sight.” I thought, “Yes!”
Ironically, it remained an idea and nothing more for years. I couldn’t grasp how to put it into action.
I learned that fear opposes faith, and I had a lot to learn about faith.
What is your relationship to faith?
I’m not talking about religious faith. Although, the principles equally apply to religion. I’m talking about the faith it takes to grow a business and expand into a calling.
It takes faith in ourselves, the process, the phases, and faith in our clients.
In all the years I’ve been a coach, I’ve consistently heard that following a calling feels both exciting and terrifying at the same time. While everyone loves to feel excited, it was the feelings of fear that were blocking success for most people I talked with.
How on earth are we supposed to move forward and gain success quickly if we are feeling terrified? In 2005 I grappled with this, and I’m here today, on the other side of fear, to share with you three pearls of wisdom I’ve picked up along my path. My hope is that one of these wisdoms helps illuminate the virtues within you and invites greater ease on your path.
To get to your true virtues, let’s first look at the vices.
Imposter syndrome is a prevalent symptom of fear. The principle about fear is simple. When you a truth over a fear, the fear will disappear.
The imposter syndrome is a trick of the ego. Fear is a trick of the ego. The ego pulls all the tricks in a desperate attempt to keep us safe. The issue is that the ego's version of life is based on limits and lack.
To succeed, we must step out of our ego and into our Essence. In other words, we must step into our truth. Truth is solid. It has no opposite. When the truth is present, fear is quieted.
We can't eliminate the ego, but we can quiet it by standing in our truth. For example:
EGO: TRUTH of ESSENCE:
You are an imposter. I AM here to support others.
You don’t really have what others have. I AM a caring, insightful, heart-centered coach.
You are not good enough to charge. Everything I offer is VERY valuable.
The ego creates weakness and does not reflect the truth of who you are. Stand upon your truth. There is a rock inside of you. Find it. Stand on it.
Assumptions are a state of mind that breeds more fear. Assumptions consume the stories we tell ourselves for lunch.
To succeed, we must become adept at catching assumptions before they grow. Assumptions are like weeds. Pull them when you find them and replace them with the seeds of truth.For examples:
People won’t hire me during work hours. The people who need me, will make it work.
Networking didn’t work, so it never will. I can find, or create the right group.
People must think I’m crazy to follow my calling. What people think is more about them.
Pluck the weed, plant a new seed, then proceed.
Many people I've talked to have been told, "fake it until you make it." In my experience, this is not possible. What I have seen is an inner shift that takes place moving fear from the driver's seat to the back seat. The shift looks something like: "Oh my gosh, I'm dreading my first networking event. What if I fall on my face?!" to "I'm going to show up and give it my best. I will feel the fear, put it behind me, and I will do it anyway." There is an inner shift from false to true, from illusion to truth. Truth is never fake. Truth is solid.
Also, consider this: Anything new is fearful to the ego. Period. Dot. And, thank God you are afraid. It means you are human! Pat yourself on the back because it also means you care. Now give yourself some grace and let yourself off the hook. Fear doesn't mean you don't have what it takes. (Catch the assumption). Fear means that you care.
Of course you are afraid! We all feel fear when we do something new. I can't tell you how many people I've talked to that feel terrified of a new job, ripe with "what ifs." Then I check in 6-8 months later, and the fear is old news. This will be true for you, too, when you shift into your truth and operate from there.
FROM VICE TO VIRTUE:
What do these three vices and virtues have in common?
They are about stepping into a faith — a faith in your inner goodness and truth. Running a successful business means you become willing. Willing to say yes to the truth within you. Say yes so that your services can elevate the lives of the people who need you.
Power leads to fortitude; fortitude elevates confidence, and confidence is a catalyst to your competence.
HOSTS: Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC / Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen, RN, PCC
This week we are focusing on Coaching Mastery and discussing the research Kristen conducted on the use of metaphor in coaching.