Laurel Elders: Welcome, everyone, to coaching quips. These are weekly coaching mastery tips designed to equip coaches, future coaches, and coachlike leaders with empowering approaches. I'm Laurel Elders, the founder of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. I'm an ICF master certified coach. I got my start as a professional coach in 2005, and I have with me Bryant Alexander. Bryant is a coach and works with us in admissions, helping people align with the coach training options that are best suited for them and their organization. Bryant, I'm so excited to be back with you. Bryant Alexander: Yeah, I'm excited to be back with you. You know, I want to also say, I am a student. I am a student. We got to emphasize that always learning, the coaching journey never stops. So, I am also a student at the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. So I like to emphasize that I'm always learning, always getting better. That is the coaching journey. Laurel Elders: Yes. And congratulations, because not only did you just complete the class portion of the program, you just shared that you've got your ACC hours. Bryant Alexander: Yes, I have enough for my ACC hours. Now. It's like all this other stuff I have to make sure I do to actually graduate from the program. Laurel Elders: So we also have with us Jill. Jill Arnoff is a leadership coach, and she's going to be here answering questions in the chat and posting links and resources as we go. If you have any questions, um, feel free to post them here or later. And today's topic is. I'm really excited about this one. Mixing modalities. Bryant Alexander: Okay, let's talk about it. Laurel Elders: Yeah. So, first, I just want to make a distinction around what we're talking about with mixing modalities. Because in coaching, when we mix modalities as a coach, we call this integrative coaching. So we approach the coaching through a fully integrative lens. We're actually considering the eight domains of a client's potential. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: So, these are somatic, cognitive, emotional, relational, integrational, spiritual. All of these aspects is what integrative coaching looks like when we're mixing modalities as a coach. It's really powerful. It's the only way I coach now is to include all aspects of the whole. So just to offer that. Bryant Alexander: Okay, well, Laurel, before you move forward, how does that differ from your traditional coaching? Like, what to expect? Because you said it's an integrative approach. I think it's always good to just define what that means and what that looks like. So with those eight domains, how does integrative coaching kind of fit into that? Laurel Elders: So great question. Because, basically the way I look at it is like there's coaching skills, so you can learn the coaching skills. Then some schools of thought on coaching takes those skills and plugs them into a specialty area, like one of those eight domains. So, for example, they might be very mindset focused or somatics focused or relationship focused, which is great. And in our philosophy, let's take all of the eight domains and leverage the impact that they have on each other and the impact they have on the client's life. And how can we help the client develop all of the domains of their potential in a more integrated perspective? Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Yes, the whole person approach, I think that, and it's interesting because, I didn't really understand that until I came to the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. Mainly because it's just you. I guess you think about those domains as something that's separate, like one doesn't influence the other. But I think taking that comprehensive approach gives you the opportunity to see the whole person, but you also see how those different domains affect how the person shows up at work, how they show up for personal relationships, how they show up for family. So I think it's really important to define what is this integrative approach and what are these domains that we're talking about, especially somatics. Somatics. I'm addicted to that right now. I'm deep into research on somatics and how it affects how we interpret things, how our body feels things. So thank you for explaining that. Laurel Elders: Oh, absolutely. And, I think we should have a whole episode just on somatic. It's so powerful, for sure. Yeah. So that's what it looks like to mix modalities as a coach. It's taking a more integrative, holistic perspective. And at the end of the day, I think we might have talked about this. How in the business coaching world, in the executive coaching world, it doesn't really matter because regardless of who's in front of you, you have a whole person in front of you. So taking that holistic approach to coaching is so powerful. It's so powerful, yes. So the other side of mixing modalities is a little bit more controversial. Do we mix modalities as a coach? Do we add consulting in counseling? Where do all of these different approaches to helping and leveraging a client, how do they interplay or not? What are the pros and cons? And so that's what I really wanted to dive deeper into today. Bryant Alexander: Okay, sounds good. Laurel Elders: So we received a comment on our YouTube channel and some questions, and it's a perfect segue into what we're talking about with mixing modalities today. So I just wanted to bring this up, and I promised that we would speak to this. So the comment was, uh, this is very enlightening discussion. I'm a consultant supporting startup entrepreneurs in Tanzania, Africa. I am still not clear with the concept of coaching the whole person. At what point do I differentiate the consulting process and the coaching process? What is the ultimate goal of consulting and the goal of coaching? How do I know that this client needs coaching rather than consulting, advisory, or advising or training? Bryant Alexander: What a question. Also, I want to say that we are global. I want to highlight that, too. Okay. But quite a question to ask, so please enlighten us. Please. Laurel. Laurel Elders: All ah, right. Well, coaching the whole person. M. That concept, know it seems kind of nebulous, but really what it is, it's considering the who and a client's inner world. Mhm. So, beliefs, thoughts, motivations, perspectives, our context, it's even the somatic responses that we have. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: Um, all of these internal, the client's internal world. When we're coaching the person, not the problem. We are coaching the client into who they are. M. And this is so important because in consulting, we're giving specialized advice. But here's the difference. Consulting is about the external world, not the internal world. Counseling is about the internal world. So you can see some potential overlap here, right? Bryant Alexander: Yes. Laurel Elders: So the question at what point do I differentiate the consulting process and coaching process? The easiest way I wrap my head around this one for me was the realization one day, because I would do both coaching and consulting, and one day I had this aha moment. Bryant Alexander: There it is. You just had it. (Zoom put off fireworks) Laurel Elders: That's hilarious. Zoom keeps surprising me every time we do these. Um. Ah, so what the realization was that I can be the expert of external things, processes, skill sets, the whole gamut, but I will never be the expert of someone else's truth. Ever. Period. Dot. So if I give a piece of consulting advice, a piece of missing information, how is the client going to bring that to life? That's where the coaching comes in. And a lot of consultants might, um, override that because their primary modality is to provide information. So adding coaching to the consulting is so powerful because all of a sudden, you're handing the power back over to the client, and you're getting them to become internally resourced around the information that's being given. Bryant Alexander: Great points. Great points. And I would say that a good example of bringing both those approaches is executive coaching. Well, the executive coaching that I was doing a couple of months back, uh, with the organization, and, um, what I found was that I took the approach and my expertise was really like, helping people kind of move across an organization or internal mobility. Like, how do I grow within this organization? How do I develop skills? How do I get a team? How do I just become a more effective executive? And, um, it was a very specific case to where I had this, um, executive who had accomplished so much, um, in his career. He had started nonprofits, raised millions of dollars, right? And his biggest concern was, like, his biggest concern was just around, like, I feel like I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. I think that I've outgrown this organization. I do the work. It's cool, I enjoy it, but I think something is missing. The piece that was easy for me to consult on was like, how do I help him just become a more effective manager? Because that was also one of his goals, right? So just like, how to manage personalities, how to manage your direct reports. But there was this other piece here around just fulfillment that he was alluding to. Like, I've done this a thousand times when I was coaching. What we got to the bottom of is that he actually didn't see the work that he was doing as, like, real business development, right? Because he had been doing the same type of work for at least 1520 years. But his fulfillment was actually around this dream that he had of starting a restaurant business. And he was just like, so, because he had this perception of the work that he was doing is not real, right, or not actual proof that he can start a business and run a business because he was one of the founding members of the organization. He was just like, I don't know how that's possible. But when we got to the core of what he was doing, and it was just coaching around beliefs, motivations, values, that's when he was able to shift and say, like, oh, I am capable of starting this restaurant business. And deeper than that, we got to the why. And he was just like, I think that food just makes people feel good, and I just want to be a part of that. Right? So there was this consulting piece around, like, how do I just become a better manager? How should I better manage these two difficult direct reports right now? And that's what I was consulting on. But at the core of our coaching was just overall fulfillment, because once he got clear on, all right, this is what I'm doing, the direct reports became like, I'm not really too worried about that. I got this. I've been managing people. We got to that integrative. We started that integrative work on how pursuing something through coaching that is purposeful to you actually impacts the way you show up as a manager and how you deal with those challenging personalities. Right. Because we tend to project what we want to do or things that are holding us back are, um, self sabotage onto other people. And what he found was once he was able to write out, we wrote out a vision statement together, we were able to put together an executive suite, a personal executive suite for him to hold him accountable to starting this restaurant business. Uh, his whole attitude towards work was different. He had direct reports were just like, I'll figure it out. I'll be a little bit more softer to this one. I'll be a little bit more solution oriented. This one. Like, he was self generating. But that wouldn't happen unless, of course, my expertise in just, like, learning and development within employees, but also just when it comes to understanding, like, all right, what is the thing that's missing here? What are your mindset, your beliefs, your values, the vision that you have for yourself? And how can we integrate that into the work that you're doing right now and just who you are as a person? So it was a powerful reframe for him because he got so excited about our coaching sessions after that. And just like everybody, one of the quotes that I remember from him is once I started telling everybody about this restaurant business, they wanted to give me money. They said like, hey, we've been waiting years for you to do this. Let's do it right. So it was one of the most memorable moments in coaching that I've had in recent time. Laurel Elders: I love that. So powerful. So powerful. And such a testimony to the power of coaching. Truly whole person. I mean, that went outside of just a management role into like, a bigger life purpose, life calling. But it also sounded like the mixing of modalities. Like you were there to do some consulting around. Was it the management piece? Bryant Alexander: Yeah, management. Laurel Elders: But the coaching took it to another level. Bryant Alexander: Yeah. I guess we don't always understand how much that personal fulfillment or feeling like you have that personal vision for yourself affects the way that we show up as employees, executives, founders, whatever it might be. Right? The attitude is different when you understand what the bigger vision is or when you know what your values are or you have that support system behind you in supporting that bigger picture, then you're able to be more receptive, like personality. You're able to give yourself empathy, but you're able to approach other people with more empathy and be a little bit more creative in your problem solving approach. Like one feeds the other. And that was a reframe for me because I didn't know I was doing that at that time. But then I was like, oh, this is what it is, right? Yeah, it was great. Laurel Elders: Well, and it also just really demonstrates integrative intelligence. Everything is connected in one way or another and it's like, yeah, who would have thought that that bigger. Why was going to, as that came forward, this was positively impacting the other. Why? Bryant Alexander: It was powerful. Really grateful for that experience, for sure, because I used to think that I was talking too much like the 80 20 rule when it comes to coaching, but with that consulting piece, that's where I was able to kind of step in a bit. But also being able to use coaching as, um, combine it with coaching, I think that it was a perfect balance. Like, I was talking just enough, right? I wasn't talking too much, I was problem solving, but not too much. Like the coaching allowed him to just be vulnerable, provide that space for him to voice his dreams and what he actually wanted to do versus me telling him like, well, this is what you need to do. Mhm. Laurel Elders: When we are combining modalities, it does shift the dynamic. So I think one of the most powerful things to consider is this next question that was asked, how do I know what this client needs? Is it coaching or more consulting or how do I tell, um, the line that I've seen work really well? Is the client needing more of them or has the client got everything that they need to succeed? They just are missing some external information. So that's something to consider. The other thing to consider is the why. If a client is asking for advice, if you are a coach and you do some consulting, really take this one to heart, because sometimes we like to give our power away. So sometimes I might want to just be given the answer, well, why? Is it because I'm scared of responsibility? Am I scared of ownership? Am I scared of owning my own power and space and truth? Because, we can seek answers externally because it feels safe. M one of the coaches role is to say, I don't have your answers, you have your answers. And I'm going to hold this space and invite you to dive deeper. And then boom, there's the answer and then the client gains more agency, more internal power over their own life. Bryant Alexander: Agreed. I remember you telling us sometimes the answer is just maybe that's all you could say as a coach. Maybe that might be right. And I guess that goes back to usually the answers that we're looking for are right in front of us. It just takes somebody to hold that space because like you said, that this person has all the information, the resources, the network needed to do the work, but they're searching for the answer in what they think they should be doing or what others are doing. And ultimately you have the answer. It's just about you trusting yourself to be like, okay, let m me just do it my way to see what happens. So yeah, we always have the answer. It's just about trusting that, I guess, gut. And that goes to somatics. But also just being more in tune with the body. That's really important. But the coach sets the stage for that. Laurel Elders: Mhm. Yeah, absolutely. So in general, I also wanted to bring up adding. So there's all these different ways that we can mix modalities. So this is kind of fun to play with. So adding consulting to coaching can work if you set it up that way. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: So it depends. But adding coaching to consulting up levels the consulting because the consultant can then step in after they've given the information. The way every client implements it is going to be unique and different to that client. Bryant Alexander: Okay. Laurel Elders: Right. There's no one success formula for every single human being. We all have our own success formula. And the coaching skills help the consultant adapt and meet that unique person, that unique client with those unique internal challenges. Mindset blocks all of that. Adding coaching to counseling. Brilliant. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: I've talked to, yes, there you go. There we go. Zoom is celebrating. Zoom says yes. So add thing, coaching to counseling. So powerful. I've talked to so many therapist friends that the client makes so much progress with the counseling that they then transition into coaching and they start having developing the answers from within. But knowing how, when to make that shift is really powerful. And what are the coaching skills and what does it look like to shift from I have an agenda to get my client here to, I have no agenda. The client is now in the lead. That's a big shift. Bryant Alexander: Yeah, I think that is a shift because you go through so much with a counselor or a therapist about the past and like, they're like, hey, last week we talked about this. How are we feeling about it? This week. All right, let's talk about this this week and then go from so much structure about understanding your past to, all right, you lead today. What do you want to talk about? Yeah, that's a big shift for people. But again, it allows you to take ownership of what that growth and development looks like for you. Now, it's, it's saying that, hey, you can take off the training wheels, okay? We got this bike. You can hop on. You don't need the training wheels anymore. We believe that we, as coaches, therapists, consultants that use that implement coaching we believe that you have the ability, your whole, your woe resource. You have everything that you need in order to actually get on this bike and continue to ride it. You might fall off a few times, but overall, we believe that we're going to be there to help you get back up. All right. So I think that's the powerful part of coaching. Like taking off those training wheels. Laurel Elders: Mhm. Yes. And then, the other thing to consider is adding counseling to coaching. So that is where we say, no, it's actually not effective. It's completely counter effective. It doesn't work because if a client, just to give everyone a visual, we've talked about this before. There's two journeys to our potential. The first journey, we're shown the way, and that gets us this far where we need someone to say, this way, not that way. And here's why. And we learn from that, and that's really important. But the second journey is the self discovered journey. And no one can give us our power. No one can tell us how to find our confidence and develop it. I mean, they can point in a direction which is first journey, but the true development comes from going within, and that is coaching. So if you add counseling to the second journey, you're taking the client back to the first journey. They're not going into themselves. Deeper into themselves and their potentials. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: So we've actually backtracked without even realizing it. So something to consider. Bryant Alexander: Wow, the self discovery is so scary, Laurel. Like, to go internally by yourself, your counselor gets you somewhere and it's like, okay, I understand these different labels. Depression, anxiety, my inner child and the inner child work. I understand a little bit about shadow work. I understand all these different terminologies. So how would you recommend somebody going into that self discovery journey? Because I know you showed a few examples, but you've been doing this, and in doing this work, it is a lot of self discovery, consistently. So for you, how did you go about that journey of self discovery, because it can be a very lonely place. Um, sometimes, not all the time, sometimes. But how did you kind of handle that and going through that process? Laurel Elders: Well, the first answer is working with a coach because we can take that self discovery journey alone. We can somewhat in community - as long as it's not taking us back to that first journey. Right. But working with a coach, because you have confidentiality, your coach is holding space. The coach isn't going to let you fall there with you through the process. There's a level of safety, and then when you connect with a coach, that's a really good fit. That's very important, too, is finding that coach that's a really good fit for what your goals are. But also there's this element of, are you ready for coaching? So being, am I coachable? Am I willing to self reflect? Am I willing to look at myself and say, ooh, my motivation was not very good, I got angry, or am I willing to own that part of my life? If the answer is yes, then the person's ready to up level and step in to the process, and it's so powerful. But if the answer is no, then maybe they're just not ready for the second journey yet. Bryant Alexander: M uh, look at yourself in the mirror and say, am I good with where I'm at right now? It's a choice at that point. It's a choice to continue to react or continue to live with that trauma or whatever you're holding. It's a choice to carry that around. And, I really feel like, because I think I did some of my journey alone as far as self discovery, in that I'm just genuinely always reflecting about my journey and my experience and just the interconnectedness between things. So it was just a lot of reading, a lot of. Just observation, a lot of just, I think still, one of the most powerful books that I've read to this day is, uh, the alchemist. And, uh, being able to just say this life is a journey, right. It is like, pretty much alchemy is, just shifting your reality from one thing to another. Turning things into gold, turning your life's work into this, uh, taking the elixirs of the world and turning it into gold. And, those books that I read just got me so much more curious about. All right, what else is here, right? Because I was able to hit all of these different milestones. I got through five years of therapy, I got all the financial goals that I want I got the investment property, I got the job, and I was just like, all right, I think I'm at the mountaintop. But it's just like, what else is really here or what is worthwhile in this life? Because even understanding we have such a limited time on this earth. I'm like, is this it? Is there more? And that's a scary place to be. It wasn't easy because it's just like, all right, I guess this is it. But you have that time to where I was like, okay, I think I was 30. So, like, two years ago, I was just like, all right, I need to go get a coach. I need to figure out what are the next steps for me and what's the bigger picture, because I think that often gets left out because desire is something that we all suffer from and desire to want more money, to want the title, to want all of these things, but not really knowing why we want them. So I think that's where coaching came in for me in that self discovery journey. It's like I got all these things, and that wasn't enough, or I thought that was the thing that's going to fill me. So coaching was able to just put into perspective that, no, you got to have a bigger picture. It's just like, you got to have a bigger mission, and it seems like you want to do more impactful work. Right. It's not just these transactional things that come along the way. You'll get the money, you'll get whatever you put your mind to. It's clearly that you can do it. But what are you doing it for and why? What's the bigger picture here? And that's where coaching really helped me get, uncluttered when it came to what I thought I wanted or what I thought I needed. Powerful. Laurel Elders: That internal exploration, internal world. M I love it. And I also love what you just said about uncluttered, because you think about it, because we have these egos and these fears and these doubts, the most powerful journey that we take is that from illusion to truth. Bryant Alexander: M okay. Laurel Elders: And weeding through what is true, what is false, what do I need to embrace? What do I need to shed and let go of? And that a good coach will help you walk through that process and come out clear, uncluttered, more empowered, for sure. Nice. Bryant Alexander: All, um. Laurel Elders: Right, well, I'm sad we're at the end of our time today. Bryant Alexander: We can keep going. Laurel Elders: Well, let's do a summary. So, coaching, adding coaching to consulting. Yes, consulting to coaching just depends. Sometimes it can work. It depends on the why. Coaching to counseling. Yes. That works really well. Counseling to coaching. No, it's just not effective, and it interrupts the client's development. Also, coaching to mentoring. Yes, mentoring. Adding mentoring to coaching. It just depends. It depends on if it would impede in the client's process. If they're really ready for that second journey, it would impede. If they're not quite there yet, then maybe. Bryant Alexander: M. Well, thank you for that wonderful summary, Laurel. Laurel Elders: Yeah. I hope it's helpful to those out there grappling with, do I mix modalities? Do I not? And then we'll do a deeper dive into the eight domains in future conversations as well. Bryant Alexander: So much, so dense. But that's what makes it fun. You got to really care about this. Really do it. I'm excited. Laurel Elders: Me, too. Me, too. All right, so, we hope that everyone that has tuned in today that this has been a lantern to your path with coaching. It's our mission to elevate human potential through the art and the science of masterful coaching. And if you're an individual or organizational leader seeking to bring coaching into what you do, please reach out. Reach out to Bryant here on LinkedIn. And if you're joining from another platform, Bryant's email is admissions@integrativeintelligence. Global. And, Bryant, any final words about upcoming opportunities? Bryant Alexander: Yes. So, we have coaching fundamentals. So it is the first module of our program, and there is scholarship available for that. So that will be starting March 22. And it's only for one day, for 6 hours. So you have plenty of time to get that time off. But if you really want to, just get a better understanding of what coaching looks like and just what we actually do and how we do it, specifically at the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. Right. Please reach out to me, and I'm happy to share more information. I'm happy to set up a call. So, March 22, it will be a six hour day. Okay. But it will be the quickest 6 hours that you ever went through because you're going to have so much fun learning about the fundamentals of coaching. Laurel Elders: Yes. Our coaching intensive, and I just feel so blessed. We have these scholarships because of my mentor, Sandy Hogan. And this is an extension of her legacy funds. Sandy's no longer with us, and her husband decided to start up scholarship funds. So we thank him so much for taking that initiative. All right, so, one last thing before we hop off. We also help companies increase business performance and leadership impact by developing coaching talent and creating coaching cultures. So if you are a leader or director that is seeking to add coaching to what you are up to, you can see the benefits of bringing the coaching culture in. We've got many, um, different ways that we can support you in those initiatives, so feel free to reach out for those as well. And um, more information in the links below. Thank you. Jill, we've been seeing you drop some links down there, so feel free to reach out if you need anything and we'll see you next week. Bryant Alexander: See you next week. Bye. LINKS: March 22nd - Coaching Fundamentals
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Laurel Elders:
We're having a rich discussion about integrative intelligence. We're a minute late. We apologize. Bryant Alexander: Glad to be here with you, Laurel. Another week. Laurel Elders: Another week. Yes. I'm so excited for this week. So welcome, everyone, to coaching quips. These are weekly coaching mastery tips designed to equip coaches, future coaches, and coach-like leaders with empowering approaches. I'm Laurel Elders, founder of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. I'm an ICF master certified coach, and I got my start as a professional coach in 2005, and I'm excited to have my co-host with me today, Bryant Alexander. Bryant is also a coach, and he works with us in admissions, helping people align with the coach training options that really are best suited for them and their organization. Bryant, so great to have you. Bryant Alexander: Yes, glad to be. I also want to say I am a student at the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. So it's just know I wrapped up an intensive for the last intensive this weekend. Powerful experience. I got to learn a little bit about values. Got to learn a little bit about neurobiology of coaching. Got a chance to learn a lot about just what integration actually means. So, powerful experience, and grateful for the instructors here. Laurel Elders: Awesome. Thank you. I love what you just said, too, about, um, what integration actually means, because I wrapped my head around that for, like, I had a hard time - I should say, wrapping my head around that for years. And that's part of what we're going to be talking about today, too. Bryant Alexander: Sounds good. Laurel Elders: All right, so I say, let's just talk about the elephant in the room. What the heck is integrative intelligence? Bryant Alexander: It's one of those topics, where I was unfamiliar with it when it came. I've been coaching, but never heard of what that was. And I was just, okay, like, this is interesting. Even the Institute for Integrative Intelligence, I was just like, what does this mean? Because when it comes to coach training institutions, you hear about everybody else. And I was like, this one sounds interesting, so let's do more. So I started to do my research, and I was like, "okay, I kind of get it", but since going through the program, I've definitely got a better understanding of it. But, Laurel, if you want to break it down for us, please. Laurel Elders: I'd love to. I love taking abstract concepts, know, really conceptualizing them. So I think one of the things that we were grappling with as the institute was Integrative Intelligence. It's not just one thing, it's not just a concept. It's a skill set, a mindset. It's a systems approach. It's a leadership empowerment point. It's so many things. So we had been defining it as "the wisdom that develops from cultivating knowledge and understanding of interconnectivity". Well, I ran that by one of my business mentors, and he said, "I'm not an academic. That doesn't make any sense. " I totally get it. I totally get it. And so we realized, because it was so many things, that we're having a hard time succinctly describing it. And so my mentor gave me a challenge. He said, -- just some context. My mom is turning 80 this year. Bryant Alexander: Oh, yes. Happy Birthday! Laurel Elders: And she was a school teacher, elementary school teacher for years, and became an educational consultant in early childhood development, reading comprehension. So she gets the simplicity. Like, how important it is to have simplicity. So he said, "Laurel, come up with a definition that your mom could understand." Okay, challenge accepted. So, we've actually created a little video about this. I'll put that in the comments after the show. But, I called her and asked her. I ran a new definition by her, and the simplified definition is "understanding that everything is connected in one way or another. Bryant Alexander: Okay, so, simple definition, right. And the thing about that is, it would seem obvious, right? But I think that is something that could be brushed over. So, being that that definition is so simple, what do you mean? "Everything is connected." Laurel Elders: So, in reality, we're all connected to each other as human beings. We are connected to the environment, whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Everything is connected. There's not one thing in this entire universe that is not interconnected. Problems arise when we act as if they're not, when we have linear perspectives that put on these blindfolds to the true interconnected nature. Bryant Alexander: Okay, that makes sense. Okay. Those blinders or mental blockers. What would be an example of that? Laurel Elders: Well, in organizations, it would be removing silos and streamlining teams so that whatever's blocking their cohesion is removed, because, again, you're connecting the dots. In the military, it's understanding second and third order effects. In leadership, it's the integration of the bigger vision, but also engaging the wisdom of your employees that are on the front lines and that sometimes gets left out. Bryant Alexander: Interesting. Laurel Elders: In life, it's connecting to something greater than the self. So this could be a calling. It could be a life purpose. In psychology, it could be activating hidden gifts. In parenting, it could be seeing the seed of potential beyond the behavior. So we're starting to see more integratively and connect dots that linear approaches just have kept us from going there basically. Bryant Alexander: When I think about that, I think about my days as a career coach, and I think about just people's approach to professional development. Very, just a + b = c. So you start off entry level, you move on to mid-level. Then you say, okay, I'm a senior now. Now it's time for me to become a manager. Now it's time for me to become an executive. And it's such a linear route that you might, I guess, if you're not moving from, I guess, an integrative perspective, you're not able to embrace other paths to really figure out what growth could look like for you. That's what I hear when you say that, yes. Laurel Elders: And what's also neat is there is value in let's focus on this linear thing. But the wisdom is, let's not forget that it's connected to other things. So the linear can serve, and it has served. Right, a linear approach. Think about in western emergency medicine, we want our doctors to be 100% dialed in, focused on what is that strategy, and not be thinking about the philosophy of the world in that moment. Right. Bryant Alexander: Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. (laughter) Laurel Elders: So to me, and I think we've touched on this in the past, too, it's like the linear has its place. The problem is when we get stuck in the linear, in the silos, which in the western influence came from Descartes, and we're still in the Cartesian "let's break everything down". Well, in the breaking everything down to better understand it - which is brilliant - it has served science - we forgot to reconnect the dots. So we go to college and we study everything as if it's separate. This is the math department. This is the psychology department - and there's nothing necessarily wrong with that. And the true growth happens when we start reconnecting dots to something much bigger and seeing how everything is, in reality connected. Bryant Alexander: That's one of the reasons I'm glad I went to a liberal arts college, because at the foundation of it, it's just critical thinking, problem solving, being able to pull information from a bunch of different resources, like those who argue for it, those who argue against it, but being able to pick a side, but also still saying, like, here are some parallels between these two different schools of thought. But now here's my, I guess, summary or my stance on this particular subject matter. So it's one of the big reasons I'm glad I went to liberal arts school, but also, even up to this point in my career, even becoming a coach, I think because I was able to see that, okay, I was a sociology major. I know I didn't want to do psychology per se. I like psychology, but I know I didn't want to do that. But I was more so interested in how the world works and why people show up the way that they do, which has some psychological components attached to it. But I like the theorists, I like understanding Karl Marx or Max Weber, and just their ideologies on why society is the way that there is. And I think that ultimately connected to this journey I started on. And I didn't know that I was starting on as a coach initially, because then after that, it's like, okay, let's go into education. Let's understand how students develop. Then I moved on to, and I was also a football coach at the time. Didn't even know that was going to be relevant, but it became relevant. Um, and then from there, moving on to college, uh, age students, uh, college age students, and then from there, adult learners and then leaders. And it's just interesting to see how this one thing, and I probably can trace it back to my childhood, honestly. But just to see how this one seed in college, even the choice that I made in college that I went to, opened up so many different possibilities when I took those blinders off and just able to embrace what that whole experience gave me and how it brought me to where I am now. Laurel Elders: Yeah, what a great example. I'm curious, too, after so having gone through the core training, our focus is integrative intelligence. I'm curious, how has your relationship to the power of integration in people's lives shifted? Bryant Alexander: I think that - and I was telling you this before we got on live - it's more so confirmed that you know me as far as, like, as part as, as far as the gifts, the talents that I was given. I was just helping people, I guess, reframe the way they think about their own growth and development, whether that be personally or professionally. And they're not separate, they're the same. Right. So I think that going through the program, getting a better understanding of what it means to be integrated and what integrative intelligence is, I think that I'm able to see things that kind of like a bird's eye view, I guess. I think that we get so fixated on this one problem, and then what happens is that we think, like that's not connected to anything else. It's not affecting how I show up at home. It's not affecting how I'm showing up at work. It's not affecting how I'm showing up for my kids, whatever it may be. But when you kind of step back and just kind of see, like, all right, what is this connected to? What's the bigger narrative here? Uh, I guess that I'm telling myself, I think what I've learned through this experience is that, yes, everything is connected, but also, there is a process of helping people really get these. Making these disjointed narratives into one narrative that can help them have a little bit more power in their experience. Understanding. It's a choice in how they perceive growth or how they can attain whatever goals that they have, because I think that it's about purpose. I think that people are just searching for that. People want to feel like they're doing something that matters to them, but that matters to the world. And in order to do that, integration is probably the most important thing, because if you're not. If it's just utilizing your professional skills, but it's not really attached to the why, you'll never be 100% into it. But if you can find that balance of my why is here, for me, it's coaching, of course, but also being able to use that why? To use a skill to manifest that why. I think that that is what integration is. Because you show up happier when things get stressful. You're able to manage it a lot better, because you're able to see, like, this is, like, the bigger picture, though. This is the purpose. So, I think that's what integration has. What I've learned and what integration has taught me, you're able to manage those hard times so much easier because it's like, I know what the bigger picture is. You're not trapped in that hamster wheel of, like, I'm just doing this because I got to get by. I'm just doing this to get to point to the next checkpoint that's important, but also just understanding what's the bigger vision here, and how is it going to feel like when you get there? How do you feel when you think about it? How is it going to connect with all these other things within your life? So just understanding, like, you got to understand the big picture. You got to have the vision there. You got to have the why there in order to do anything. And once you're able to understand that why integration happens, because there's a balance between there's a connection between that personal and professional development or growth that you're needing. Laurel Elders: Yeah, I got chills as you were speaking. Bryant Alexander: Uh, wow. Laurel Elders: Especially-- Bryant Alexander: Go ahead. Laurel Elders: I was going to say the point you made about was it the fragmented narratives, like, bringing that together and the power of that cohesion. In class, we somatically teach the concept of integration. Like, okay, you've got your hands, and if you do this for so long, you'll eventually run out of. But if you clasp your hands, all of you, you come into something as a whole person. Like how much stronger that is. You can somatically feel the power of integration in that simple exercise. Bryant Alexander: Even somatics, that's another big topic. But something that really excites me as well. But yes, bringing those experiences together and doing something that's worthwhile to you, but also worthwhile to the world around you. Because I think that. I think about a relationship to self, relationship to others, and a relationship to the world around you. That is true integration. Laurel Elders: Mhm. Yeah, absolutely. And that really brings up why we pivoted. And when the school first got its start, we started out focusing on integrative coaching, which was amazing. Right? And then we realized, wait, integration is empowering all these areas. The leaders. Imagine an integrated leader versus a disintegrated leader. Right? Huge difference. And we've all experienced the disintegrated leaders. Of course, they climbed the corporate ladder, got to level ten on the ladder, but they're still down here experiencing, um, the disintegration. So maybe they're only on level two on their integration work or their developmental work. See the little thumbs? (zoom thumbs up) Bryant Alexander: Zoom had to say, you're doing it. LinkedIn was like, yeah, you're doing it. You're doing it. Laurel Elders: Will it do a heart? (makes heart shape with hands) Bryant Alexander: It did. Laurel Elders: Fully integrated experience here. And we realized that, well, I observed, and I'd love to hear your feedback on this, I observed that 100% of human made issues were because people were not honoring the connected nature of what is. There was a linear process in place. So, greed, think about, you've got blinders on, - every area. If you start to look at it through that lens and see, "oh, wow, the better solutions are actually in the integrative perspectives". Bryant Alexander: Yeah, I think today, with war, dictatorship, in the past, it's a focus on power, it's a focus on greed. And usually this comes from a very - relationship to self. I think that's where it all stems from. And I also think it stems from, as people attain more power, you feel like it's going to leave, so you have to fight for it. And it's a whole story, whole story that you tell yourself, like, hey, if somebody's going to take this from me, yes, that is a lack of integration. And, I guess I have to send a question right back at you. How would it be possible to get more people integrated with themselves? How do you stop, especially in a country like the United States? Right. What are your thoughts on helping people become more integrated? What tools, tactics? What can we do in order to make that happen? Laurel Elders: Oh, wow. So there's so many possibilities here. First of all, I just want to give a shout-out to coaching. Coaching is an integratively intelligent approach. It's putting people in touch with themselves, their gifts. It's helping them shed what is not true, what is not serving. It's helping them serve a positive mission. It's helping organizations turn the ship around and become more agile and, growth oriented. I mean, coaching is doing that work in the world, and there's so many more opportunities, though. I was talking to Howie, who teaches our Neurobiology of Emotional Intelligence and Somatics. Bryant Alexander: Howie is amazing. He's amazing. Laurel Elders: Howie was involved in- it was actually a coaching effort where they went into a high school and just to see was this helpful to teenagers and what they found. It's called TouchPointConnection.org. All the research, it turned into a research project, and so they've got data on how effective it was. The teenagers loved it because they were being put in touch with their core values. Like, "oh, I'm not just someone who wants to go party all the time. I actually have something within me. " Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: They weren't being told what to do. So the coaches were helping them develop their wisdom from the inside out, like their truth. And it was so effective. And I thought, oh, my gosh, had I had that level of support, or even if it was just a class in junior high, high school where we're talking about core values or emotional intelligence. We're so externally focused. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: Which - what does that do? Pinches us off from other parts of ourselves. Bryant Alexander: Yeah. Uh, and it's funny, I think that also speaks to, well, high school students need more guidance, and I think that is true. But I think what we were talking about last week around transformational coaching versus transactional coaching. You need a little bit of the two, because I think, I guess a school administrator's reaction would be, no, we need more structure. They need to be told what to do. I think that just speaks to no matter, especially when we get around those high school ages, nobody wants to be told what to do. And I guess that's the power of coaching. There are probably some transactional pieces there, but the goal is to help people, like you said, develop that wisdom. And a part of that wisdom is helping people come to their own conclusions versus what I say goes. For Howie to go into high school, to connect with high school students on coaching is something that I didn't hear about until he told the story. I felt like, uh, you got to be an adult to actually engage in coaching in a productive way. But for that to happen just shows the power of it. And, um, that wisdom is so important. We all have that wisdom, and I think that. We think that wisdom is something that comes with time, and it does, but some of us have an innate wisdom that has to just be drawn out a little bit more, whether it be, um, the sayings that could be like, it's trusting your gut or being that somatic. So just being in your body, knowing how you feel about something, trusting that something is going to happen because you really believe in it. So it's very interesting work to see how it plays out in the real world. But that was really good. Laurel Elders: Yeah, well, the other thing that I've found is that the Integrative Intelligence perspective was really elevating the coaches that we were teaching. And, I just wanted to speak to that a little bit. And it's so connected to what we're talking about, because if you think about, okay, I understand positive intelligence. Positive intelligence is one aspect of the whole. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: It's one thing to understand an intelligence center, and it's another to see how that is connected, but also how the other domains of our potential can elevate these other domains, if that makes sense. Bryant Alexander: It makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense because positive intelligence really focuses. I think positive intelligence does focus on some sensations and some somatics, but I think that it focuses heavily on the brain. And just like "all right, we understand your self sabotage behaviors. That's the left side of your brain that processes data. Now let's go to the right side of your brain, whereas the sage is living at. " And it's just like, what about the body? And I know there's some exercises that positive intelligence has, but I think that it doesn't speak to them on this type of level. And how important to not only understand those sensations, but how to understand those sensations when things are actually happening. Like, when you're stressed out, when you're trying to make a decision, when somebody, like when you have a knee jerk reaction to something, like, how to understand those sensations a little bit deeper, because that is integration, right? You're able to feel, if it's in your foot, if it's in your thigh, if it's in your stomach, if it's in your chest, it's like, what is that? Then you're able to make a decision. Then that's where the positive intelligence, in my opinion, really kicks in, because it's like you're able to tap into the right side of the brain to say let me explore this a bit. All right, let's try to navigate this a little bit to see what's going on here. So, it's really interesting. Laurel Elders: Yeah, it really is. And to me, the integrative intelligence is where it all comes to life. We have multiple intelligences within us, so it's bringing all of them together so that, um, someone can just fully engage all parts of themselves, not just mindset, not just one thing or another. And the end result, it's self actualization. And Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman has done profound research in this area. So, if any of you haven't come across his work, he wrote the book Transcend. He's, put a lot of the science to self actualization. Bryant Alexander: Love it. Laurel Elders: Yeah, Bryant, you'd love his book. Bryant Alexander: Um. Ah, ah. Really, I'm just excited to see where the field of coaching is going, because I think that one it seemed like only a select group had access to it, which were, at one point, I feel like the wealthy, like executives, like people, can actually afford it and saw the value in it, or had reached these peaks in their life where it's like, all right, I need help. But now it's something to where it's, kind of, I guess, democratized in that coaches come in all different forms, but I think this work around integrative intelligence, it seems that - not seems - what I've noticed is that there is no way to coach without dealing with the whole person. Right. And understanding those intelligences within you. Intelligence. Is that the word? But understanding all those different things within you helps for a more fulfilling, purposeful and really values based decision making life. So it's just that you don't question yourself or self. Impostor syndrome isn't one of these things. That's just like, I have impostor syndrome, but that doesn't define you. I think one of the most powerful things I've heard this past weekend, going through intensive was like, you experience emotions. You aren't your emotions. That was one of the most powerful things that I heard, and I was just like, that makes sense, right? Because it comes and it goes, but it's up to you to really understand how you're experiencing it and understanding what you're going to do with it. And that is choice. And in my opinion, that is. That's - it's really interesting. Laurel Elders: Yeah. Yeah, it really is. All right, so we're at time. And Bryant, this has been so fun. Thank you so much for being my co host on this topic and diving deeper. We hope that today's mastery tip has been a lantern to your path. With coaching, it's our mission to elevate human potential through the art and the science of masterful coaching. And if you are an individual or organization, seeking to bring coaching into what you do, reach out. Bryant is here on LinkedIn. If you're joining us from another platform, you can reach Bryant at admissions@integrativeintelligence. Global. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. And Jill will be dropping some links in the chat. We have a March 22nd program starting, if you're interested. So, please- those links will be in the chat for more information, but don't hesitate to reach out to me. Always happy to answer any questions as a coach, as a student, as a lifelong learner, I think that truly transformational experience that I've been through since going through the program -LEVEL TWO- CPIC at the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. So, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. Laurel Elders: All right, thanks, everyone. We'll see you next week. Bryant Alexander: Bye. We are excited to feature one of our partner companies, the Wellness Universe (WU). 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All right, we are live. So, another week of e-quips. How are you doing today, Laurel? Laurel Elders: Really good. Really good. I'm excited to be with you again. And welcome, everyone, to our coaching quips. These are our, weekly coaching mastery tips designed to equip future coaches and also coachlike leaders with empowering approaches to consider. I'm Laurel Elders, the founder of the Institute for Integrative Intelligence. I'm an ICF master-certified coach. I got my start in the coaching field in 2005, and now consider myself a thorough coaching geek. And I have with me Brian Alexander. Bryant is a coach and works with us in admissions. Bryant is helping people align with the coach training options that are best suited for them and their organization. Bryant, feel free to give everyone a shout-out. Bryant Alexander: Yeah. Thank you for that intro, Laurel. So, yes, I am working with the institute in the capacity of an admissions coordinator. So, if you're interested in coaching, if you want to learn more about coaching, feel free to reach out to me, because I'm also a student, and Laurel is one of my instructors. So any questions, feel free to reach out to me. But I also work as a full-time coach outside with tech organizations specifically and tech professionals. So if you're interested in that, please reach out to me. But that's a little bit about me. I don't want to take up too much time. I want to pass it back over to you. Laurel, please. What are we talking about today? Laurel Elders: Okay, so, today's topic are going to be the three layers to coaching mastery. So, last week, we covered coaching versus advice giving. So if you missed that, we will place the link below (CLICK HERE) so that you can come back later and check it out. And during that e-quip, we mentioned coaching mastery. And we wanted to take that topic a little bit deeper into the different layers to coaching mastery. Bryant Alexander: Okay. Laurel Elders: And notice I said "layers" and not "levels". Bryant Alexander: Okay. Tell me more, please. Laurel Elders: I found that the more you study coaching, the more layers you add to your depth as a coach. Bryant Alexander: Uh-huh. Laurel Elders: But what's really cool is that the layers you add to your depth actually lend to the new levels that your clients will be reaching in their work, in their lives. Okay, so three. There's three layers. The first layer, skills. So, let's go into this a little bit more. So, I know, Bryant, you're familiar with the ICF core competencies. Bryant Alexander: Yes. I have no choice but to be. Actually had a class yesterday about it. We had to look through a script and identify the competencies throughout the script, it was probably. I didn't realize it was going to take that much work, but it was a lot of fun just kind of going through the different competencies. But yes, I have to be familiar with those. Laurel Elders: The ICF core competencies are that layer one of the skills. So those include: a coach has a solid foundation in coaching. In other words, the coach is demonstrating ethical practice. So that's competency A-1. The coach is embodying a coaching mindset, competency A-2. The coach is also trained to co-create the engagement. So that's different from other approaches like consulting or mentoring, teaching. And that includes establishing, maintaining agreements, cultivating trust and safety, maintains presence to the client and the process. So that's competency B3-5. And then the coach is also trained in communication efficacy. So this is active listening, being able to hear what's not said as well. Bryant Alexander: You said a lot there. Okay. So level one, it's a lot already in there, but something that you said was "co-create". All right. I think that has become a lot of a, it's become a popular term. So could you expound on what you mean by co-create, please? Laurel Elders: Absolutely. So when a client or employee enters the coaching engagement and this taps into what we were talking about last week, that level one and level or, sorry, journey one and journey two into your potential. The first journey, we can be showing the way. The second Journey, where our true development comes from, is self-discovered. So if you prescribe something, it's not going to be as engaging for the client as if they're a part of the entire process. Bryant Alexander: Okay. And that's the differentiation between where coaching versus consulting is happening, correct? Is that what you're saying? Okay. And then you talked about "evokes awareness". I think that's also something we talk about today. Right. So self-awareness, what does it mean to be self-aware? So in the context of coaching in this first level, what does evoking awareness actually mean? Laurel Elders: So from the coach's perspective, it's asking questions that help the client gain self-awareness, self-attunement and self-generation. Bryant Alexander: Okay. Laurel Elders: So if I show up - I love to give this example - if I show up to work, I have a chip on my shoulder and I'm short with people and I'm closed down, I'm not very open and fun to be with. What are the odds - what's the probability I'm going to get a promotion? Bryant Alexander: Probably not too good. Laurel Elders: But if I get coached and I gain self awareness. I'm able to get rid of - we call it "catch ourselves in the act" - catch the chip on my shoulder, and eventually get rid of the chip on my shoulder. Now I'm showing up to work, open, creative, even fun to be with. What is the probability I might get that promotion? Bryant Alexander: Probably higher, right. Laurel Elders: Right. I may or may not get it, but I've gained access to that possibility, gained new awareness. New self-awareness. Bryant Alexander: I'm glad you use that work example too, because I think that oftentimes you hear people say that, I feel stuck, or they're not giving me this promotion, or I work hard and I'm not getting what I want. Right. And I think what you're alluding to is that awareness allows you to say, what am I doing? Or how can I show up differently? Or what are the things that I might be contributing to me not getting that promotion or me feeling stuck, in this job or in this role. So it's just interesting to kind of hear the importance of self awareness as it applies to work. But also in the grand scheme of life, self-awareness becomes such an important factor because I think what you speak to is just that relationship with yourself and how important that is and how that shows up. Um, and how the self-awareness kind of shapes the way you engage with not only yourself, but also just phenomenon or people, the world, whatever it may be. Laurel Elders: Yeah, absolutely. And it's so connected to the self-generation. Am I generating the outcomes that I want to be and that self-alignment? Am I showing up aligned? So if I've got a chip on my shoulder, I'm actually not showing up aligned with who I am. Because we're not our defense mechanisms, we're not our limiting beliefs, we're not our fears. So how can I get into self alignment to experience that empowerment in the workplace, but also at home? I mean, that's beauty of coaching, right? It goes with us everywhere we go. Bryant Alexander: Wow. And that's just layer one! Laurel Elders: That's just layer one. Within those skills there's eight core competencies, but within those, there's actually 63 subcompetencies. And I just find that really empowering for coach to get that diversity. So, shall we dive into layer two? Bryant Alexander: I don't know. I can walk away with layer one and just be good, but no, let's talk about layer two, please. Laurel Elders: So as we add another layer of depth into our coaching skill set, we start to focus on coaching the person and coaching the whole person. And this, to me, is where the magic happens because whether you're coaching a teenager or a c suite executive, you have a whole person in front of you. And there's a distinction that we make in coaching mastery, and that is to coach the person, not the problem. And when I first heard that, I was like, "yeah, but what exactly does that mean"? It was hard for me to grasp Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Yeah, I think it's still hard to grasp if you're first hearing it, especially if you've never. Because I think that we spend a lot of time on the problem and I think that it might be, I guess, to give an example to that. I think when I was doing a lot more career coaching, I would stay focused on the problem of the resume or the LinkedIn or the interviewing skills, or just I'm not comfortable networking. But when you take it a level, not a layer deeper, which actually causes you to zoom out more, it's like, oh, is it imposter syndrome or is it, just the stories you're telling yourself, is it self-sabotaging behaviors? Is it just confidence? Right. So I think that is how I can best kind of contextualize what it means to not, because I can look at your resume and LinkedIn all day and we can tweak this and we can tweak that. But if you get in front of people and you're having that imposter syndrome, or you're not really comfortably articulating, all right, this is the value that I bring, or you're telling yourself these very negative stories about your experience and what you actually bring to the table. That's actually getting to what that problem is versus staying at the, oh, we're going to go through a mock interview and we're going to talk about these things. So, such an interesting concept. Laurel Elders: It is. And that is a perfect example how much deeper we can go. Also a really great example of how, learning the coaching side of it is so impactful for consultants because they can take what they're teaching or helping with the details, externals, help the client internalize it, and that's where the transformation happens. Bryant Alexander: Great point, because coaching is also for consultants, and it might even help you become a better consultant because you're not just fixated on the problem, which is what consultants are hired for. Figure out all my problems. I'm saying yes, the coaching actually is something that you can add to your tool belt to where it's just like, what are we actually trying to figure? What is the problem we're actually solving here? Laurel Elders: So the other thing I wanted to share about coaching the person, not just the problem, is because you might want to ask, "why would we do this"? don't clients and employees come to us to solve a problem? They do, but if I solve it, I actually take away their agency and their personal power to self-generate. So there's a little bit of coaching - it is developmental. The client is learning and self-developing from within. Bryant Alexander: Agreed. Laurel Elders: So, one way to look at this is as someone comes to me for coaching, and I look at it like "I'm coaching this person, they're solving the problem". So I'm not focused on the problem. I'm focused on what is going on with my client. So: What is being said? What is not being said, what is happening somatically, visually, what's happening in the client's context, what's being reflected through beliefs, motivations, values. And a lot of those sometimes are under the surface. So coaches are trained to pick up on nuances that indicate more of that root level cause so that we can form more powerful questions to get the clients to go deeper. Bryant Alexander: Yeah, I think those things. So, self-generation is important because if you just put it in layman's terms, it's just like, are you more likely to do something that somebody else suggested to you versus actually coming up with your own solution and doing it yourself? And when I was going through that whole coach consulting kind of coaching phase, I found that my clients wouldn't follow through on certain things, and I would ask them why. It's just like I didn't feel comfortable doing that. But when I actually just. What would you feel comfortable doing then? Right. That is a question to where it can be considered a powerful question, because I'm just asking you, I'm putting the ownership back on you as far as what you would do and allowing you to speculate, well, I would do this or I would do that. What's stopping you from doing that then? It just opens a door to a whole different set of solutions. That can actually help the client get to where they want to go. So I think it's really important that self generation, it's just as simple as, like, I want to take ownership for my own development. I want to actually establish these next steps for myself, something that I feel comfortable with versus. I have a manager already. You're supposed to be my coach. I have kids already that are always, like, telling me what they want and what they need. Right. You're supposed to be my coach. How can I take the steps that I want to take in order to move forward. Laurel Elders: Yeah. And that, to me, really connects back to that. Also, the self-alignment piece. When we own an answer, and we're coming to something with full alignment, I mean, wow, the difference is pretty huge. Bryant Alexander: Agreed. Laurel Elders: I think - my theory is that a lot of morale issues are because it just lacks coaching culture, coaching opportunities in an organization for people to start self generating, step into their gifts and power and alignment in more powerful ways. Bryant Alexander: Agreed. Laurel Elders: All right, shall we move on to layer three? Bryant Alexander: Layer three. Coaching for the whole person. Right. Laurel Elders: Coaching "from" the whole person. So we are coaching a whole person. And are we coaching from our whole person? Bryant Alexander: Okay, now the onus is back on the coach, right. Coaching from the whole person. Laurel Elders: So, am I stuck in my head? Am I only coaching from my head? My cognitive space? I like to say coaching from the whole person is where your magic happens. The whole person is where the magic happens. Bryant Alexander: Okay. Laurel Elders: When we coach from our whole person, we're including intuitions, our somatic presence, vision, mindfulness, cognition, creativity. There's all these different things that we're including. And we found eight domains to human potential. So imagine I'm not just engaging my cognition, I'm engaging all of these. And we'll put a link to what those are below. But engaging your coaching at that level gets to be a lot more profound for the coaching, the impact that your coaching can have. Bryant Alexander: Okay, it sounds like mindfulness is there. What's the best way to be mindful within your own body while you're also engaging with somebody else? Laurel Elders: Well, does take practice, right when we're first learning coaching? Of course, like chatter. "Oh, my gosh. Am I doing it right? " "Am I asking the right question? " "What's the next best question? " "Is the client going to get results? " We're stuck in our head. We can sink down into mindfulness, as you said, into a grounded space and really hold that space for the client so that we're using all of our faculties and we're hearing at those deeper levels, the coaching, naturally, there's no push to it. Just naturally becomes more fluid, more powerful, deeper, just naturally. Bryant Alexander: It's amazing to me a level of mindfulness, but also just a level of presence, with everything that you're feeling. Like, if the client says something to you, it sounds like, how does that feel in your body? Right. Like, if a client has a strong emotion, where do you feel that at? Within your own body, but also as you're. And that I guess that kind of just generates within you like a question like, hey, notice there was a strong emotion there. Tell me more about that. Right. That is not easy at all. And the reason I can say that is because I've been on a couple of - because I learned this concept from being on silent meditation retreats. And they teach you so much about how your body responds to things first, not your brain, meaning that you have to be like, let's say if it's a negative emotion, if it's a sensation, it will start in the body and it will work its way up to the brain. Right. And I don't want to get too scientific, but it's just interesting to just understand. We think that our perception, or when we see something, that it starts within the brain and then it's like fight, flight or freeze, but it actually starts in the body. And when you're able to feel where it's at in the body and then it works its way up to your brain, you're able to kind of make a decision on what to do with it. But in coaching, it sounds like when you fill it in the body, it's going to be so organic that it'll just get you to that next powerful question versus thinking too hard. As far as like, this is how I'm going to put this question. Laurel Elders: Yeah, there's a wholeness in our presence. Bryant Alexander: I got you. Laurel Elders: And to me, I love what you just shared. Ah. And it's so aligned with that self-awareness piece. Where am I right now? "Oh, I'm back in my head". Bryant Alexander: M yeah. Laurel Elders: So those are the three layers. As you can see there are ways that you can also identify what level of coach training or what type of training is right for you. Right. So not every person that wants to add coaching skills, the layer one needs to go to all layers, right. Especially - they may serve leaders. All three layers may serve leaders. But just adding coaching skills is often just really profound experience in and of itself. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. And I guess with these different layers let's say I was at home today, right? How would I know what layer that I'm like, I'm here, all right? Or this is what I'm needing. How would a leader know which is right for them? Laurel Elders: I would say depending on what - that's a great question because it's so different for everyone. So I would say if you really care about being a coach like leader so helping your employees self develop into their gift so you're not providing the scaffolding they're doing their own work and learning to be independent thinkers. Bryant Alexander: Mhm. Laurel Elders: That is uh, an excellent time to go for these two layers, if not the three, is just like the icing on the cake. Bryant Alexander: Got you. Yeah, got you. Okay, got you. Go ahead. Laurel Elders: Sorry, I was just going to say, but a lot of consultants or managers, they might just, those coaching skills, that first layer is really impactful too. Bryant Alexander: Yes, a lot in that first layer. I would say you could spend a couple of months on that first layer in itself. Years really on that first layer. So for sure. Laurel Elders: It's so fun to me when people come into the - even just the module one and say, "I didn't realize there was so much more to coaching! " "I thought I'd been coaching for years. " We hear that a lot. Bryant Alexander: Including myself. Laurel Elders: I do want to add is sometimes, just to throw this out there, some mistakes that we see companies make when they do, like an internal coach training - they might put someone in charge that may know a little bit about coaching, but doesn't know the full spectrum of all the skills. And so then sometimes what happens is they end up coming to us later and going, oh my gosh, we could have saved years of time and headaches and had we known that all these layers were there and available to us. So I always invite people, if you have questions about coaching, reach out. This is all we do. You can go straight to us. We're very accessible. We're coaching geeks here at the institute. So we love talking about coaching. Bryant Alexander: Yes. If you have any questions, I am here. As you've already heard, there are so many layers to coaching, even deeper than this. Once you dive into kind of just the subtopics within each one of these layers, I can say one, it doesn't just help you as a leader, as a consultant. I think when you go through coach training at any level or any layer, I think what happens is it just helps you overall as a person, personally, professionally, whatever, it just is a self discovery process. And here at the institute, I really love the emphasis on not just the art of it. Right. I love the science behind it. This program has really helped me with understanding somatics, but in a very in depth way. And for anybody that doesn't know what somatics is, it just has to do with the body. So when sensations come up in your body, just understanding what that is, where it's at, how to actually manage it, those things are so important, especially because we live in an error to where we just have a lot of distraction. We have a lot of screens in our face, and that leaves us in our head all the time, and we usually take the side of thinking versus actually feeling to understand what's really going on. So I think that's one of the, if not my biggest value proposition is that I'm learning about the art and science of coaching. And I think that, is always going to be helpful when it comes to just presenting the value to leadership teams or just if you have your own coaching practice, just your clients and how they actually engage in the coaching. Laurel Elders: Well said. All right, so that wraps us up for today. We hope today's mastery tip is a lantern to your path with coaching. It's our mission to elevate human potential through the art and the science of masterful coaching. Science, as Bryant pointed out, is included. If you're an individual or organizational leader seeking to bring coaching into what you do, please reach out. Bryant is here on LinkedIn. If you're joining us from another platform, you can also, reach to him at: [email protected]. If you are curious, we do teach our Module One: Coaching Fundamentals six times a year, and we launch our full LEVEL ONE- Coaching Foundations and -LEVEL TWO- CPIC coach training program every March and October. These programs are designed to support you and your organization on your journey into coaching excellence. That's one of our passions. And we also are here to help companies increase business performance and leadership impact by developing coaching talent and creating coaching cultures. >> Corporate Training So if you're interested in that, we have three different approaches and ways to support you. So as you can see, lots of options to learn more, please visit us at integrativeintelligence. Global and we will see you next week. Next week we're going to dive into the different styles and types of coaching. Bryant Alexander: There we go. I'm excited about that one. I was excited about this one. I'm really excited about that one. Laurel Elders: Thanks everyone for joining us and we can't wait to be with you next week. Bryant Alexander: Thanks, everyone. Bye. |