Evan Fahy is a 27-year corporate veteran that has 15+ years' experience as an Advisor/Mentor. He is also a Licensed HeartMath Certified Trainer & has taught Resilience classes to thousands. He is passionate about taking people on their journey of positive change to empower them to improve their Mental & Physical Wellness. Evans' natural next step in his own personal journey was Coaching. He is excited to continue his Coaching journey to enable people to live their life's passions. He is based in Chandler, AZ with his beautiful wife Brenda, two gorgeous boys Omar (22) & Kylan (5); and two furry kids 'Legend' & 'Luna'.
If you are interested in working with Evan:
My ideal client is one that is looking for positive change in their lives, both professionally & personally. They may feel like they are a square peg in a round hole, and it's time to stop pushing so hard into something that does not feel like a good fit anymore. It's time for change! Positive change! My client can expect to be listened to, in a trusting, safe environment, and given the space to share their challenges, beliefs and ambitions. My client can expect to unlock their thoughts and realize their amazing potential.
Please feel free to reach out to me by email: evanmfahy @ outlook.com
I look forward to speaking with you.
In life, we can find ourselves by peeling back the egoic onion of defenses we’ve accumulated over the years from past traumas and wounding. Yet, once the egoic layers peel back, the Essense of who we are is naturally revealed. Once we find our true self, we can create ourself, expand our capacities and grow in new possibilities.
One powerful way to do this is to look at the human eye.
To see something accurately, we see through the eye's iris. The iris is the part of our eye that is colored and has a hole in the center to let light in or close light out. When the lens of our iris is clear, we see more accurately. Cataracts can form with age and cause a cloudy haze that scues our sight.
In life, we can get spiritual cataracts. Just like the eye perceives accurately through an open lens where nothing can interfere, our perceptions can cloud our mind's eye. What is actually happening can turn into a variety of fears and judgments, splintering us away from the truth.
Notice it takes a void to see accurately in the eye. In the heart, it takes spaciousness to see clearly. It also takes conscious awareness to vet if a perception is true or false.
This week I invite you to do a perception cleanse....
When a thought crosses your mind, it is either true or false. Simple. Well, not to the ego. In truth, we may not know if what we think is real or a story. The cloudiness comes in when our ego concludes that our judgments and stories are all the truth, when they may be only a partial truth or untrue (misperception).
For example, I caught a spiritual cataract in my thinking a few weeks back. My husband and I were watching "Chosen," a powerful series about the life and Biblical works of Jesus. One of my long-held perceptions is that religious zealots are just out to take your money for their own greed.
We watched a short video by one of the producers. He was talking about how he decided to buy this $15k thing. My mind went straight to "See, they are all crooks. He took all of these donations and bought something frivolous." At that moment, I felt the anger of the perceived injustice surge through my veins.
I started ranting to my husband, furious that many people were duped into donating. My husband laughed, saying, "I guess you didn't see the part where that $15k was a donation."
"Oh. No, I missed that part." My ego was humbled, and I realized that while some religious people are out to take donations for greed, this man was not one of them. I misjudged. Yet! My body reacted as if it was real. The body goes where the mind flows, which explains why our perceptions can feel so real to us.
During your perception cleanse, I invite you to review true and false perceptions and add another category. It is the category of "I don't know."
"Doesn't I don't know" mean I'm ignorant? Not at all. It means you are exercising wisdom and discernment. There is power in owning what we don't know and not taking an adventure into the land of assumptions.
Try it out and notice what happens and what shifts inside you as you cleanse your spiritual lens and heal any spiritual cataracts clouding your life.
By Laurel Elders, MCC, CEC
I just ran across another disorder called Bigorexia. Bigorexia is a mental health disorder leading to an imbalanced obsession with bodybuilding and body size. It is an extreme form of body dysmorphia, where a person perceives themselves as too small even though they are a larger size. It is the opposite of anorexia.
From an integration and psychological perspective, all disorders and diagnoses represent the hundreds of ways the egoic self can grip our life. The ego is a patterned way of being birthed as a defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms are often linked to our first wounding and/or the trauma we experience. They are designed to keep us emotionally safe.
The downside to a defense mechanism, or ego structure, is that in adulthood (or after the threat passes), it can limit our effectiveness and success in life. It can also keep us from feeling happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
In integration work, essential distinctions exist between the ego and the true self. There is the human ego (home to our defense mechanisms and ego-structures) and our Essence. Ego is a distorted sense of self. Our Essence is the truth of who, what, and why we are. We are not our fears. We are not our defense mechanisms. We are not our limiting beliefs. We are so much more.
Then who are you really? You are your Essence. You are a tapestry of unique gifts, strengths, core values, and the consciousness that makes you uniquely you. Your Essence is the true you.
People say, “I need to find myself,” when they get a nagging internal hint that there might be more to them than their ego suggested. They wake up and begin to bump up against the limitations of ego structure. People naturally experience a mid-life crisis when a part of their ego structure is exposed and there is a desperation to remove it. Removing an ego structure and embracing the Essence of your humanity can feel like anything from an empowering epiphany to a year-long internal fight where nothing makes sense, and letting go of the ego feels horrifyingly scary.
On an integral spectrum, we see:
Integration is the process of shedding the false self, the egoic-structure and inviting a relationship with our very own Essence.
How do we integrate?
If a disorder has become larger than we can handle, therapy is the appropriate approach. Licensed therapists are trained to diagnose mental health disorders that have become a patterned way of being. Therapists help us unwind the pattern fragmentation and help us reorient into our wholeness.
When someone is at a point where they are resourced, ego-aware, has agency over their life, and are ready to grow, then coaching is an exceptional approach for integration.
The emotional healing found in the therapeutic process gets people from -10 to solid ground. Coaching gets people from solid ground to their +10.
Because the ego has been the one to provide our safety in life, it generates skepticism about living through our Essence, our wholeness. On the path to integration, it is normal to feel inner dissonance. On the one hand, fears creep up; on the other, the Essence is now spot-lighting new possibilities. The quest begs the question: Can I trust this new inner wholeness I feel?
Being afraid of our wholeness and inner light reminds me of my profound spiritual experience I had. One evening, decades ago, I was meditating and reflecting on a myriad of life questions. Suddenly, the answers to my questions started pouring in, and the more I asked, the more I received such purity and clarity. Each question elicited a direct response above anything I could have come up with on my own.
As this process quickened, I felt an elevated sensation somatically throughout my entire body. This positive, elated feeling kept expanding. The sensation became so intense that it began to scare me. I got up and walked out of the room, uncertain of what was happening. Even though the energy I felt covering my entire body was positive, it scared me. I always wondered what it was and why I feared it when it was so positive.
Marianne Williamson, a teacher of A Course in Miracles, is quoted as saying, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
Being a coach and walking with hundreds of clients on their integration journey, I’ve learned a critical key to life. The truth of what is happening does not define the truth of what is possible. Our diagnosis is not the truth of who we are or what we are capable of. A diagnosis can be the stepping stone to discovering our wholeness.